Should I try to recover my daughter's deleted texts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2014
Should I try to recover my daughter's deleted texts?
Wed, 07-09-2014 - 10:21am

I just submitted this as a Q&A and now I found this board, so sorry if this is a duplicate. I'm new here, and feeling a little desperate!

The background: When doing laundry I found a small tin containing two tiny bags of weed and an Adderall tablet. She came clean about it all eventually, after trying to say they weren't hers. This is the second time I have found weed in her possession. The first time she was grounded for two weeks. This time I said she was grounded for a month and I was going to read her texts. She already was aware that I had access to her Facebook account and read her messages occasionally, which was what led to the first weed discovery, and at that time I said I wouldn't read her texts but if I ever had reason to in the future, I would. I said she could text her friends the news and that if they wanted to get ahold of her during this time, they could call our home phone. I sat in front of her as she did this, and she took that opportunity to delete all of the texts from her phone. 

I was beyond furious and still am when I think about it!!! The next morning, I went online to see about recovering the deleted texts. I found and ordered a device that claims to do this. But now I am having second thoughts on whether I should go ahead with recovering and reading the texts she deleted. Should I give her another chance, and just tell her that I will take her phone at random and read the texts whenever I feel like it? What would you do? Who can I talk to you about this?

By the way, my daughter is an honor student and an all-around good kid. She has a job, is active in sports, and is generally great to be around. She is working hard to make it up to us right now, though I have to say I'm not convinced she won't do the drug thing again. Advice please!!!