What happens when you don't like your kid's friends?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2011
What happens when you don't like your kid's friends?
4
Tue, 07-26-2011 - 5:12pm

We're sort of new to our area. We moved from a big city to a rural one, where you see kids bored more frequently because there's less to do close to their house. Some of my dd's friends are less than desirable. (One stripped down to her underwear to get in our pool last week! That lasted two seconds, buh-bye.) How do I get her to make new friends without putting down her choices or sounding snobby? I know she wants to make new friends and have a fun group to hang out with, but I want her to make good choices. I don't want to alienate her either. Help!

Sherrilee

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998

You don't have to sound snobby. Just make sure your DD knows your rules and that you will enforce them. For the "stripper," I might have said, "You need to wear a swimsuit to swim in our pool." That's a rule, not you being snobby. If she says she doesn't have one with her, then you can say, "Bring one the next time you come and you are welcome to swim."

Just because your DD might be embarrassed by your rules doesn't mean they're bad rules. All teens are embarrassed at times by their parents, and most teens have one or two friends their parents don't like.

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998

I'd give her some time. I'm guessing she knows which friendships aren't going anywhere but she's new to the area and it's them or solitude. Once school starts and she's got options, her old tastes will likely resurface. For the time being, I'd be careful about what you say.

I know you said there are less activities but is she in any interest based activities or clubs? How about some teen volunteer work? It might be worth looking into something like that just to introduce her to kids who are being productive with their time.

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Once school starts there will be a lot more things and people to meet, this too shall pass. As for the stripper, it could be a local thing. I know that I have seen my dad's neighbor's pool have kids with their underwear on, it is what they had and they were not gong to ride thier bikes all teh home to get a suit.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
I could see this too. If it was just girls, it was hot, there was a pool.... if they're comfortable together, maybe. Certainly, underwear doesn't cover less than many suits. While I would ask that they go get suits, I wouldn't jump to them being bad kids.