13 year old daughter's texts

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2012
13 year old daughter's texts
5
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 6:49am

I know, I know.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 1:29pm
Welcome to the board! I am sure was very hard to see the messages. You will get differing opinions on whether or not you should or shouldn't read text messages, privacy, etc. Ultimately, you are the parent and it is your decision whether you decide to read them or not. Obviously also you know your child better than anyone, if you feel this is completely out of character for her, it very well may be that she really likes this boy and she is using these text message sessions to get close to him, and in turn telling him what he wants to hear, not how she truly feels. Or she very well may be hiding something from you. Has she changed her behavior in general lately? I am not sure what advice to give other than continue to monitor her and her behavior in general if you think there is some significant changes, but it very well may be just a case of wanting to impress a boy and that she needs to work on her self esteem and how she feels about herself to be confident enough to be herself around this guy and not feel like she needs to make up things to impress him.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2012
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 1:46pm

Thanks for the response.

It is out of character.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 4:33pm
I assume she was under the impression that her texts, her privacy and you wouldn't look at it at all. I would set up some sort of expectation of things. I know there are plenty of parents that will say its an invasion of provacy and they would never do it, and that's fine for them for their parenting style. I have a good girl also, she is a great kid, honor roll, still at 17 very little interest in boys, but I have let her know early on, that text messages, cell phones, emails, etc. they are all a privilege and I have a right as a parent and the provider of all of that to have access to it should I choose. I very rarely do check on things, I did more when she was younger and just beginning a relationship with her bio dad who she was estranged from. But she knows that she should never put anything out there that can't be read by me because she will not know when the time may be that I decide to pop in and look at things.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2012
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 7:43pm

Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sat, 04-21-2012 - 2:45pm

First of all, Hugs. That would break my heart, And at 13 I would check my daughter's texts randomly too. If you think she is sincerely sorry take her on that, But going forward I would place out there (so she knows) that you will be monitoring her texts..