New.. A concern about facebook and 14 YO

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
New.. A concern about facebook and 14 YO
10
Tue, 04-17-2012 - 1:28pm

Hi, I lurk this board mostly but wanted to share a problem..

 

 

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 04-17-2012 - 3:29pm

You should have a talk with your DD about not doing or saying ANYTHING on Facebook that (a) she wouldn't say to someone's face and (b) she doesn't want to be seen forever.

My rule is, I have your login information for Facebook, and I WILL monitor it until you are old enough for me to trust that you know how to handle yourself, which may not be until you are 15 or 16.

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 04-17-2012 - 3:47pm
I do monitor my kids account and I have signed onto her wall.. It's pretty nice and friendly most of the time. The friendship games I am talking about are common around here with school kids - i.e. "truth is", rate our friendship, others. It's harmless stuff but what was said yesterday crossed the line IMO. And I do tell her that what she writes she better be prepared to defend IRL too, Nothing I said suggests otherwise....

Thank you for your comment.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2012
Tue, 04-17-2012 - 4:17pm

I'd never jump in and reply publically-however, I would report her to FB, and call the school. If you have access to the girl's parents-call them too. You may be doing them a service by showing them what their daughter is up too.

Then delete the offensive posts and talk to

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Tue, 04-17-2012 - 4:37pm
Thanks, I was especially concerned if there was ever a right time for parents to step in on an exchange b/w two kids there...... And I agree, I have no problems talking to school ifneceesary, I hesitate talking to the kids' parents b/c I don't know them, OTOH if it was my kid who was mean or said something I would want to hear it. Thank You.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2009
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 10:17am

Grrrrr!

FoodieWorking Mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2012
Wed, 04-18-2012 - 10:40am

I don't think that I would ever comment on Facebook.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 11:22am
I would encourage your daughter to not play the friendship "games". I suspect that they have great potential to unintentionally insult girls who are not rated as highly. Girls do value their social standing highly, if your daughter makes a stand by not playing them, maybe others will get the idea that they are not nice. (Especially when a PMSing girl says something snotty that she later regrets.)

About shutting it down...my kids are not old enough to have accounts yet, and I will not sign them up before then. (At 14 your daughter is old enough.) But, you are still the parent, and if you don't like it, explain that to your daughter. Face to face communication is much better than typing - much less chance of misunderstanding. Encourage your daughter and her best friends to get Skype or such, where they are really interacting if you feel that FB is not a productive use of time. And if you take a stand, I bet other parents would be happy to follow as well!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 11:25am
Oh, and it sounded like your daughter did the right thing by telling her to stop. She did need to feel out if the other kid was joking or not, so I understand her first responses.
Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Thu, 04-19-2012 - 12:01pm

Welcome to the board!

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Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 6:11am

To all..