Regretting my gift offer..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2006
Regretting my gift offer..
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Wed, 12-21-2011 - 1:07pm
About a year ago my daughter (age 12 now) mentioned that she would like a pair of Uggs, but she didn't say it as if she expected to get them and she never mentioned it again. Last month, when I was trying to decide what to get her for Hanukkah I thought of the Uggs and asked her if she would like a pair. Of course her face lit up and she said yes. Well, I guess I am pretty stupid because I had no idea how expensive they were. I saw all the girls wearing them at middle school and I figured they can't be that expensive. I also figured that they had been out for a few years and the older styles must be less expensive....wrong! Luckily we are in the financial position to get her the gift that I had promised, but i just don't like to spend so much money on clothes or shoes, especially for a 12 year old. I am really not looking for advice, just venting about how dumb I was and hoping that my daughter does not grow up with a sense of entitlement. Robin

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-1999
Wed, 12-21-2011 - 7:22pm

DD got a pair 2 years ago, I told her if I was going to spend that much money I would buy them a bit large so she would be able to wear them for more than a year. I have to say she has gotten a lot of use out of them. She takes good care of them, because she knows how expensive they were.

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Registered: 11-01-2001
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 9:11am
lam42 wrote:

DD got a pair 2 years ago, I told her if I was going to spend that much money I would buy them a bit large so she would be able to wear them for more than a year. I have to say she has gotten a lot of use out of them. She takes good care of them, because she knows how expensive they were.

Avatar for turtletime
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-1998
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 11:21am
There are lots of Ugg knock-offs that are much cheaper. DD has 2 pairs that were under 20 dollars each. The stores that sell them cater towards the pre-teen/teen crowd. I suspect that is what you are seeing. At least in our area... that is what we see... lots of knock-offs.
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Registered: 07-24-1997
Fri, 12-23-2011 - 2:18pm

I smiled at this, because when my oldest was 13 or 14yo, she wanted Uggs.

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Registered: 09-19-2006
Fri, 12-23-2011 - 2:39pm
Thomas for your input. We got them for my daughter last night and she is in heaven. She wears a children's size 5 and the shoe store owner was nice enough to direct us to another store that sold children's sizes, so that saved a few bucks. Turns out that right now her shoe size is exactly the same as mine so if she outgrows them they will just become mine. The only problem with that is that I think they look incredibly uncomfortable for any walking, so I would probably wear them around the house as slippers. (expensive slippers eh?) Besides I don't think the are particularly attractive either. Although they are probably pretty warm and given that my feet are always freezing I will probably like that. I actually don't think she will ever act like a spoiled kid. She has never been the type to ask for or expect a lot of things. But still, we are much better off financially then when I was a kid (or my husband for that matter) so our kids just have much more than we had. I like being able to give them nice things, like braces for their teeth and college educations, but I want them to understand that not everyone is as lucky as they are. I am afraid that it is tough for them to understand how hard it can be for some people to afford the basics let alone things like college and braces. Robin
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Registered: 01-05-2005
Sun, 12-25-2011 - 10:28pm

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Registered: 01-06-2000
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 9:34am

I suppose it's all in personal perspective.

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Registered: 05-13-1998
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 12:29pm

Personally, I've seen plenty of kids that have everything and still completely grounded and wonderful individuals as well as kids who have nothing but still manage to have entitlement issues. It's not just about the stuff, it's about your world perspective. My own kids have some stuff but they also work pretty darn hard for it. They have ipods and computers that they paid for with their own money doing jobs that required quite a bit of sacrifice on their part at young ages. They do well in school, work hard in their activities, seek opportunities that require large amounts of responsibility from them and have been doing a lot of charity work since they were toddlers. Having an Aeropostale t-shirt doesn't wipe that out.

Entitlement attitudes have less to do with what you have or don't have and more with what you understand about your place in the world. My niece and nephew never had money for ANYTHING "cool" but they were also never expected to contribute to the household, had parents with ready excuses for why their poor behavior or performance in school wasn't the child's fault and grew with no expectations placed on them at all. As adults, they have an incredibly narrow view of the world and truely feel it should adapt to THEM. This is what DH sees at his work with young adults whether they grew up with all the trimmings or not. It's all the EXCUSES that damaged them, the growing up not beholden to anything or anyone... not whether they had an ipod or not. Somewhere in modern child psychology, we got this notion that a "perfect childhood" was one where the kids played with butterflys all day but in reality, throughout history, kids have worked. Now, I'm not suggesting we stick kids back in factories but kids should grow with the expectation that they will contribute to society at every age.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 1:01pm

I agree with the others that an occasional splurge on

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Registered: 07-24-1997
Wed, 12-28-2011 - 3:10pm

WOW, you explained my family's philosophy PERFECTLY!

Kelly

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