Lurker with question regarding moving...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Lurker with question regarding moving...
12
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 12:50pm
Good morning! My name is Lisa, I am married with three children (10, 7, 11/5/02...my baby is almost one!), and currently living in the very expensive and really not worth it California (born and raised here, that's my excuse).

Last year I quit my job to stay home with the kids (the adjustment hasn't been HUGE; I did not work when my older two were young, either), but it is still an adjustment. Lately, we have been re-evaluating our lives, and wanting to live a more frugal lifestyle...the type we had as kids. This seems very difficult to do here; from what I've read our housing prices are WAY above the norm for the rest of the nation. At this point, we have enough equity to move to a less expensive area/state (we were thinking around Boise, Idaho) and buy a house with more yard space, even if my husband made less money. It would be away from family, but only by a nine hour drive. My husband is a network engineer, and can basically find work anywhere. I've always wanted to live where there are four seasons, and I'm really sick of California (I'm in the Sacramento area). I also know it may be foolish to move away from family (my parents and his). But I always think...WE are the ones that should be happy with where we live, right? And if I don't move now, when? When my kids are grown and settled here, and I'll never see them?

Anyway, my question is, have any of you ever made a move all in the name of frugality? Or do you know of anyone who has? What can you tell me? Any feedback would be appreciated!

~Lisa

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Avatar for heatherr1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 1:16pm
Hi,

I don't have much to say about your questions, but I wanted to note that I have friends that live in the Boise area and they really like it. They just had a brand new house built in a subdivision with alot of extras and only paid about $132,000.

We have had to move away from our family due to my DH's job situation(software engineer), and it has been really hard. My kids really miss their grandparents. We are only 10 hours away, but it is not a great drive with the kids. We are trying to get closer.

Good luck!

Heather












Avatar for nonisfern
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 1:55pm
Hi Lisa, I am going to shout at you from my experience moving from so cal to the mid west DO NOT SELL YOUR HOUSE IN CALIFORNIA!!!!!

Sorry but it is the biggest single mistake we made. If you like Boise ( or wherever you go) you can fly back, sell and take profit, if you hate boise you can move home, and fix what renters have done to your home.

We moved from san diego, to KC 3 years ago and the weather is not why we moved here LOL we knew it would be bad, but had no clue ( even though my DH was raised here).

So much of the winter where we are is miserable cold, below freezing but no snow to go and play in, and summers are stinking hot that unless you are in water you want to be inside.

I dislike having heat and air on and not having a way to air out the house, you know open windows etc.

I can go on, I would be glad to give you more of *my* insight by email if you wish.

We did move here to be close to inlaws for the kids and that is great.But we're only an hour away. Our main thing though was the cost of living being more reasonable.

I know people on this board from So Cal who'd say get out, traffic is so bad, but from 3 years of trying to get used to it, I'd say be careful of giving up a way to go back if it doesn't work out.I have lived many places, so I'm not coming to you with a biased, never before left my home to try something new , I am from another country. Naomi

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-1998
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 3:48pm
I agree to not sell the house until you are sure you want to be committed to a permanent move.

I'm a California native who left for 2 years to live in the northern tier of the midwest (read- long, cold winters). It was an interesting time and I was never so happy as when we left the 5 foot high snowbank in our backyard behind one May and 12 hours later were crusing through 110 degree Las Vegas to return home and once again be CA residents.

The first time it snowed after we moved there (moved in summer), it was so pretty, I went outside and walked around, amazed that other people were not out. Two weeks later I was so done with @#$%&* snow, but didn't see the ground for another 7 months. Where I live in CA, we have a saying that there are two seasons- summer and waiting-for-summer. It's sure true for me. I can see the snow on the mountains near my house and go play in it if I want, but I don't have to deal with it generally interfering with life.

I also found it to be a little bit of culture shock. There was a lot of anti-Californian sentiment where we were, and a much different mentality and way of life that was impossible for us to adjust to. Where we were there were a number of very poor Indian Reservations nearby, and the city itself was large (by Midwestern standards) but predominantly blue collar and with a lot of poverty which translated to a lot of problems within the area insofar as crime.

It was also very difficult for me to cope with the semi-Bible belt aspect of the area as well- coming from CA where things are very convenient and people are *a lot* more accepting of mindsets and people who are different. There was also a lot of bigotry and racism where we lived (I attribute that to lack of diversity so people don't associate with each other as much), which was something I had never dealt with before. All the areas I've lived in CA have been much more mixed and accepting of people who are of different cultures or religions. There people socialized based on racial background, whereas here most people cross those lines and don't even think about it, IMO. People there were more interested in categorizing others by their heritage, I can't tell you how many times people asked me what my background was. I could go into more detail about this regarding the personal situation with DH and myself, but it probably isn't important.

On Sunday stores didn't open until late (noon) if at all, and it was hard to get supplies- for example if you needed a car part it might take a week or two to get it shipped in. We get very spoiled here in CA being able to order a car part before 10am and have it by 2pm.

One story my DH likes to tell is that for *2 years* he went around holding store doors open for people- not one single person in two years ever thanked him for holding the door open. It became an obsession with him to get someone to thank him- it never happened. In CA, I find it's a matter of routine for people to thank someone for holding a door- even when we are in the big city where people are considered cold and aloof.

Produce was very expensive and limited by comparison.

Meat was cheaper.

In all, it would have been a nice place to visit for 2 weeks, but it was never home to me. I just never fit in. In a nutshell you could say I couldn't tolerate the intolerance!

That's just my .02 and obviously doesn't encompass the Midwest as a whole. Make sure you like the area, the winters, and the people of a location before you totally commit yourself.

~Vickie

Avatar for heatherr1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 4:18pm
That is so funny! We are trying to get back to KC!

Heather












iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 4:52pm
Wow...what great, quick responses! Thanks!

Great idea about renting out our house; for some reason, that never even entered my mind! At least the door wouldn't be slammed shut for us...wonder what the rental market is in Boise?!

The comment about holding doors and never getting a thank you is funny...I'm in Northern California, and my 7 year old son holds the door for EVERYONE, and very rarely does he even get any kind of acknowledgement. I find the Californians to be very detached. In contrast, I did live in Atlanta for a year, and those children were always polite, with "yes ma'am" and "yes sir", and (gasp) "thank you".

The bible belt area would scare me...I do not really think of Idaho as the midwest, so I wonder if those issues are there. I really hated the whole "no alcohol sales on Sunday" thing in Georgia. Of course, that was 10 years ago, and maybe it's changed.

Also, Californians ARE really diverse, and while I do like that, I'm getting more and more uncomfortable with being a minority. Let me explain. We have a large population of immigrants from other countries, but they are not attempting to adjust to life in this country. I have found dead pigeons in my backyard because the neighbors shot them in the hopes of a quick dinner (I'm not kidding...I asked the kids that live there). Also, they do not want to socialize, because I am not "one of them"...these families separate themselves into "men" and "women"...the women sit out back, and the men hang out in the garage. On a typical day, you drive by and see about 5 different families cooking in their garage, complete with cabinets, table and chairs, and pigeons. I also have a neighbor who yells at me if the fruit on her tree falls into my yard and I DO NOT PICK IT UP AND BRING IT TO HER. Of course, most of her yelling is in a different language, but I get the gist of it. Also, did I mention that we have chickens running around in the street? I live in a suburban neighborhood. These same complaints are true for many of my friends in the area. I guess I'm just bitter because I'm tired of finding dead pigeons with pellets in them!

Anyway, thanks for the feedback...if there's any more, I'm still listening!

~Lisa

Avatar for nonisfern
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 6:42pm
Vickie, I have just about all the same issues as you did.My DH are from the same ethnic backgrounds ( to the naked eye) and we didn't have other issues but I hate the bigotry and racsim here.

People here say they are friendly but I don't see that compared with CA.

I am also sick of the sexism here, I am not a "little woman".I could go on and on, lets just say I agree with you. Naomi
Avatar for nonisfern
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 6:53pm
hi Heather, I know of a nice house for you to rent when you get back here! You see I have learned from past mistakes and we are going to rent our house out next time.

Good luck getting back,Naomi
Avatar for heatherr1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 8:45pm
Well, from what I hear Idaho is very conservative. My friend has had issues with that, but she has found people who are more in line with the way she believes also.

I am in Georgia and we have a dry county! You can't even buy alcohol here! I thought that Kansas City was conservative!

Heather












Avatar for heatherr1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 8:47pm
I wish the IT market would improve so that we could have a chance! We had to leave when the market crashed there and Sprint started the lay-offs. I doubt we'll be able to get back anytime soon.

Heather












iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-21-2003 - 9:07pm
I agree don't sell the house, I also have the same impressions of the Mid-West as you do and I'm not a native Californian!

I grew up in Northeastern Missouri (along the Mississippi River, near Hannibal (home of Mark Twain) and a few miles from the Illinois border. Although MO, is genrally considered to be in the Mid-West, there is a strong southern influence (at least that's my impression). So I generally think of MO as having all the worst attributes of both the mid-west and the south. But that's just me, I know others love it there. I have family members who would never consider moving.

I have to say though, I hope I'm never in a position where I feel I have to move back to MO. Shudder, I would choose California in a heartbeat (but maybe I'm biased because I've only been there once, and on vacation).

Granted, none of this has anything to do with Idaho (a mountain state) but I'm sure it will be a lot different than California. Of course most places are, LOL.

Carrie :)



Carrie

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