So much going on lately. Then my mother passed

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1997
So much going on lately. Then my mother passed
6
Sun, 07-24-2011 - 11:18pm
I hadn't been around much lately. First I didn't get much of summer to work. Summer the food service gets cut back. Some of us work only some of summer if any at all. I got lucky and got 2 weeks of the summer. Then July 13th we had to bid for our hours. I got cut back to 14 hours a week. Then July 7th my mother passed on. Partly due to complications after hip surgery and some due to other health issues she had. It had been a mess planning her funeral. Well my sister Mary would not budge on an hour in time of moms funeral mass. It was on July 15th. We waited a week because of out of town family coming in. Mom had mentioned long before she passed. She wants Father Lawrence at her parish to do the funeral mass. Ok no problem. Then when we pick the date for the funeral. To find out that day was fine. If we had the visitation at 10am or earlier and her mass 11am or earlier. No matter who talked to Mary. She would not budge on the time. Insisted visitation at 11am mass at noon. Mary refused to budge for having moms mass 11am or before. So some diocese priest come out. Then my sister Janet came with her dh Craig from out of state. They offered to clean out moms apartment. Pack up everything to be moved. 3 people including mom before she passed said. A copy of the will is in the top dresser drawer. Our son seen it there in the past, my cousin who was moms power of attorney seen it. The day before the funeral. Janet says she never found it. So now some family thinks Janet destroyed it for some reason. I was thinking that myself. But never said it. Thinking Janet didn't see anything good on the will for her. So she figured if she got nothing good. Then neither should anyone else. I just wanted to make sure moms outstanding bills and funeral expenses get paid. All moms belongings in her apartment are going to charity. They will go to poor seniors in need. Then 4 days after mom passed. Our bil Dennis passed on from heart issues. His funeral was Thursday the 14th. Now we're done with the funerals. It's move on to the rest of my life. Back to the frugal living.

 

Avatar for kathy_s14255
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 9:06am
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am sorry for the loss of your Mom.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2008
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 11:38am
So sorry to hear about your family. I know how hard it can be to get back in the swing of things, good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-1997
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 5:16pm
Finally Mary calls to say she found what she thought was the will. Says she will send it over to the lawyer with an attached letter. Telling the lawyer when mom passed etc. She claimed to attempt to start the process to close down moms credit card. Master Card is a fool. She says I need to close an account down. They ask who's name is on the account. She gives them my mothers. They say only the account holder can request to close an account down. She says well that's my mother. She is dead. They would not help Mary with finding the paper to fill out that you attach the death certificate to. To close an account down. I said just let the lawyer handling moms estate deal with it. They can probably send or fax something over that is legal. They can do a similar letter for all of moms other places she owes money to. And also for the bank to close out bank accounts etc.

 

Avatar for kathy_s14255
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 5:21pm
Sorry you all are having to deal with all of this. When my Dad died, the funeral director helped with the paperwork. Did your Mom list an executor of her estate?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2007
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 8:38pm

So sorry for all your sadness and stress. You are right, the lawyer can handle whatever needs to be done. If their is no money for the credit card companies or other debts, then they will close the accounts themselves.

Hope things get better soon.

~Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Wed, 07-27-2011 - 9:26am
I'm sorry that you are dealing with all of this. I agree with everyone else to let the attorney deal with the paperwork. I'm glad your sister was at least able to find the will. Did she say why she didn't want the mass earlier?