ADD/ADHD and pills..-please read:(-

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2003
ADD/ADHD and pills..-please read:(-
Sat, 06-07-2003 - 7:15pm

I'm 20 and I've been diagnosed with ADHD when I was about 13.I was prescribed Ritalin at the time.At the time, I was having a hard time with Ritalin because since I'd always have been hyperactive (running around,people had a hard time following me,interrupting people when they were talking, answering questions and the question hadn't been completed,etc.) and Ritalin really hit me hard. I could concentrate SO well. I mean, for example, I'd always HATED Math.I'd come back home from school and throw my bag under my bed, and I'd be like "Math sucks I hate it, I'm not doing my homeworks!" then,I'd take my pill for the night -given so I COULD do my homeworks-, and after about 30 minutes -it was a fast action pill- I would be TOTALLY concentrate. Totally focused and, stragely enough, I would "LOVE" Math and working and working and becoming, in a way, "obsessed" with it. Like, when I was doing Math, under the drug's effect, I wanted to know more and more, finding more exercises I could do, reviewing my notes.Yes, I got good grades, but that's not the thing. Why, is it that way? Why, with the Math homework for example, did I get "obsessed" with it? At 13, I didn't like to take Ritalin because my friends would say I looked "angry or like, I wasn't happy" <= that's because I was focused on my things and my schoolwork.By "obsessed" I mean becoming very meticulous, asking about things in details, specifically, always, with as much details as possible, getting lost in details and so, losing the general idea.

At the time I didn't know Ritalin was an appetite suppressant. And didn't really care whether it was or not, to be honest. At around the age of 15, I developped eating disorders. I'd be told Ritalin was an appetite suppressant. It, of course, interfered with my eating disorders. I was still becoming "obsessed", after I'd taken my Ritalin, with whatever I'd be doing after -30 min. after taking the drug-...Because I was concentrated, not while doing my homeworks,not eating became easier since I was focused with my homeworks. And the more I liked Ritalin.

My pediatrician would weigh me -since he knew Ritalin could provoke some kind of weight loss- and figured out I'd lost 15 pounds and so, decided to reduce my prescription, -for example: prescribing me the same amount for morning and lunch time, though my evening dose would be half instead of whole-.

After a while, I began doubling my dose, since I *knew* I could become all focused on something, and uncousciously at the same time, not eat. My mom would make comments, such as, "Hey, you had your pills for the month last week (the 1st of the month) and now, 8 days later, you already took the amount of pills you would have taken in TWO weeks!!!!!!!" ....My mom made me go to our family doctor decided to change Ritalin for Dexedrine, since I was abusing Ritalin! I've been taking Dexedrine for 2-2 1/2 years I've been on Dexedrine.

Last October, I, for some reasons, tried to kill myself.I was 90-95 pounds and took 150 Aspirin, an entire bottle in 10-15 minutes.I was sent to the hospital,rushed into the ER and after, in the ICU for 3 days, in coma.

After that, I noticed that, since the day where I took 150 Aspirin which could have altered some things in my brain and maybe something that had to do with, because the 10mg of Dexedrine I'd been taking for a long time, wasn't "working": I didn't get the "obsessiveness", the HUGE focus I was used to get.

So, I told my doctor, who agreed to change my 10mg to 20mg. I told her that, with 10mg of Dexedrine, my mind was making me nuts, I was getting migraines and so on. Which was true. However, now, if I don't take my 20mg of Dexedrine, I feel "bad". It's like, the only time when I'm feeling okay, is when I've taken those 20mgs.

Otherwise, I panic, I eat, and I'm don't feel alright. It feels like, those 20mgs of Dexedrine have some effects on me and if I don't have my dose for the day, it's like, I'm moody -gosh will I get it, so I can actually DO something!!- and extremely irritable. When I get it, everything is alright, I am able to work, clean my house, etc...

Is it common for people to get "obsessive" and freak out if they have not taken their Ritalin/Dexedrine dose??

Even though I have very strong suscpicions about this, I HAVE to ask: Am I addicted? If so, what can I do?


I would prefer to be answered by EMAIL.

You may ask me any questions about anything I wrote above,if I didn't explain some things properly -which is probably the case-

Thank you very much, and I hope to get an answer as soon as possible...

All my best,

Struggling Girl email: