My ds was diagnosed 1 1/2 yrs ago, at age 8,
Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. I can imagine how helpless you might feel. My mom and a very good friend of mine both have ADD and anxiety disorders mainly exhibited by panic attacks. I know that it is common for people who have ADD/ADHD to have anxiety issues as well. My mom has to take medications for both. I honestly think my friend should be on something as well. My son has ADHD and that is something I was told to watch out for. So far he's been ok. He is a worrier and he does think through things more than most kids do -death and dying being one of them. I try to be careful about what I talk to him about (or what I talk about in front of him) being mindful of what might trigger the anxiety. So far we've been able to keep it in check. Kids are curious about things, but when they start to obsess about them, it can lead to the anxiety. I try to steer the conversation in a more positive way and this always helps.
I hope you get some resolution with the doctors appointment.
That's just tough all over--glad you're doing the right thing & finding someone for him to talk to. My kid is ADHD & we've dealt with the death/dying thing, too (not suicide, fear of death). Though, for us, it seriously pre-dates the meds--started meds age 7, started death/dying age 4, basic trigger was 9/11 for him. For us, it's always been one of those things that surfaces now & again, we'd go a few months without the fears & then bang, he'd be back in that state again. I'd say, often around this time of year...
What helped: well, we took him to a psych who does both ADHD stuff & anxiety; they discussed both this stuff & bullying. We talked to him a lot about what he believed would happen after he dies; his ideas altered some from year to year, but talking it out always seemed to help a little--gave him something to hang his brain on, as it were. I tried to teach him how to move his brain away from the topic--concentrate on a story you really like, tell yourself a story about baseball, that kind of thing. He took hot showers at bedtime when things got bad, it's a good relaxer for him, ditto playing music at bedtime (better to listen to that then your own thoughts?).
And we haven't had serious issues with it in at least a year, I'm now realizing. I will say it's gotten seriously easier with age. Maybe all the talking just takes all that time? Really, I suppose, it's that with all that work, all the things we did, they all helped...
Good luck--this stuff is so scary, y'know?
Hi. My son will be 12 and he was dx ADHD when he was 6.
Hugs to you and your family, its tough enough to go through ADHD, but add anxiety and it makes it tougher.
Thank you and everyone else for your good wishes and sharing your own story and experience.