aggresive, violent and defient dehavior

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
aggresive, violent and defient dehavior
2
Sun, 10-13-2013 - 7:58am

Sorry need to vent. Since before he was born my DS was hyperactive, but all along was told he would grow out of it. Even friends who were teachers would say its never the kid that comes into school with the mom saying he is over active thats the problem. Usually its a case of totally different at home then school. Well guess my kid was the acception. Anyway he was always active and hyper but never a real behvior thing. Yes being on the move is distractive in class, but other then that he is a good kid. Yes he can be implusive or unaware when it comes to safety things (like running out in traffic) He has been on medication since second grade and when on it a different kid, but in that he isn't climbing walls or rambling on and on.

Now I have a 7 year old nephew, some back story sister is bipolar has been her WHOLE life. SHe is over dramatic too. Every little thing that goes wrong she flys off the wall either yelling or in tears. Her ex is not much more stable. Stubburn with a temper. To be honest my sister has the emotional development of a teenager (really we are adults we don't need to air our dirty laundry on FB and thats just 1 example) Her kids have had a ROUGH life and they are all a bit messed up up there. Neice from a different dad was diagnosed with depression at 11, the 7 year old has a twin who got his dad's temper and stubborness. Personally I do not think the kid respect my sister and I don't think she had given much cause to. They have been homeless twice, she puts herself first a lot of times. My neice has resentment towards her and her brothers and can only imagine what goes through the  year old minds.

All of them have been in theropy both group and seperate. The nephew in question was failure to thrieve as a baby and she definatly "parented" him different. So he has been a terror for years. Time outs don't work and being left out of things don't phase him. He was almost kicked out of afterschool and camp last year and I guess now he is refusing to go into school in the mornings and having new issues in school. He does have some hyperactivity and not saying maybe that isn't some of it but I am so tired of getting texted about when I started DS on medication and what kind and getting her kid on some. Its NOT THAT EASY!!!

When he almost got booted from afterschool they got  a referal and 6 months later she finally got in an appointment but these people aren't messing around. Its theropy and they aren't going to just give you a pill because its NOT THAT EASY. This is more then ADHD. I've google/web md diagnised him and it NOTS the ADHD that has him punching his brother while he is still asleep. Thats anger and resentment. Last I checked there isn't a pill to fix that. Also find it interesting this started AFTER his twin had to have his tonsils out and has gotten the special dr trip mom and me time he used to get. Been a lot of follow ups too taking attention off of him and on to twin. Neice has been having some school issues sister has been tied up in. Not saying there isn't more to this but sorry time to take a GIANT step back and look at his envirnent. How you parent and your lack of ability to co parent with your ex. How you treat them when you are manic and depressive. yes a pill will help his focus and maybe when things aren't pulling him in a million directions and he can focus some of the behavior will improve but sorry this is one angry kid and this is his way of letting you know he doesn't like the way things are.

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Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 10-14-2013 - 4:03pm
I totally agree with what you are saying. The meds are only going to take you so far, behavior therapy and how you parent is equally, if not more, important. I'm sorry for them that they are in such an unstable environment. I hope that they get the help they need.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Tue, 10-15-2013 - 7:12am

Its just fustrating because she is constantly asking me about when we started meds and beig anxious about getting the diagnosis and meds were the last resort for us. Thankfully his school worked with us before a diagnosis to get some interventions in the classroom and I know we are lucky. He is strickly hyperactive, no behavior issues aside from bouncing off walls and non stop chatter when off medication but he was never the classroom issue. Its like she sees our result and thinks its an easy fix. Could be reading it all wrong and not doubting he has some ADD in him but there is LOT more going on here.

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