Bullying?

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Bullying?
5
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 12:32pm

My ADHD son has always been a bit of an outcast, he's always had trouble making and keeping friends, especially in elementary school.

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Registered: 05-02-2004
In reply to: Cmmelissa
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 12:57pm

What is the school policy? A lot of schools have a Zero Tolerance policy - it may be worth your while to check and see what it is and see if it should be reported to the school.

Some middle schools (probably not enough) have peer mediators that can also help with issues like this. Your kid certainly is not the only one that would be getting picked on, and really, he is helping other kids if he (and possibly you) talk to an adult who can help stop this before it becomes a pattern with these kids.

If it were my kid, and telling him to ignore was not enough, then I would be talking to some adults to help him. At some place - this board or another, a reply to the teasing stuff by the target is "The anus says...what?" and the other kids look confused and say "What?" and the targets says "Exactly!" You don't want your son to get in trouble, but sometimes being a quick thinker and having responses can be helpful. It takes the power from the bully and puts it back with the target.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
In reply to: Cmmelissa
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 1:41pm

The school does have a zero tolerance policy.

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Registered: 06-10-2007
In reply to: Cmmelissa
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 4:55pm

I have told DD to walk away, and also to say " Sphincter says what?", when they say what, she says EXACTLY! It works with the ...less intelligent bullies.



We don't have alot of problems with it anymore. DD is 13, 5'7", and about 160 lbs, She is bigger than alot of the boys who haven't had the growth spurt, so the bullies are now intimidated by her height.

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: Cmmelissa
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 9:49am
I've done both. In 5th grade, I realized that the way to get it stopped was to report it to the principal. Every year, I write the note to the principal (he's in 8th now) to be sure one particular kid isn't on his "team"--they still can end up in off-team classes, but at least it's less! Best thing, of course, is to help your kid deal with it themselves. Mine will now--sometimes, at least--keep his own temper & not get angry/cry (for this, we read through a book about controlling your own anger, it had suggestions that really helped). He turns things back on the bullies when he can--so, being called "gay", he says "thank you, I am happy today". And, finally? He's willing to walk into the principal's office & talk to the principal or VP (or his counselor) about a situation, with no prompting from any adult. Things like bullies throwing stones on the way to/from school. Or just being jerks in the hall. While I wish noone would ever bully my kid at all, working on having him be able to self-advocate like this has just been...fantastic, overall. Much credit to the school, of course, for listening and taking these things seriously!
Megan
Megan
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
In reply to: Cmmelissa
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 10:03am

There are times when the kids need to learn to deal with it themselves.