Discipline with ADHD - any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
Discipline with ADHD - any suggestions?
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 10:43am

Ok, so now I have gotten into this whole parents forum thing, and really love it....It helps me see what other moms are doing vs just what my doctor says. This issue is a very touchy one , I understand. I dont need a heated debate, just some advice from other ADHD parents...

I need to know how to discipline my son.....right now hes off his meds. Thats only because we have had a terrible time getting him to swallow the pills and when we mix them in drinks, no matter what drink, he gags, and throws it up and it always causes fighting and yelling. (Only because I know he cant taste it because I tried it!!) Its all mental, he knows its in there and will not do it. Like most things in his life, when hes got it in his head he doesnt want to he wont. We also have a serious problem with being mouthy, you know, arguing back, and you as the adult will not get the last word in, ever, without threats of spanking. Grounding him doesnt work because then hes just bored then that cause him to be more mouthy....mostly saying stuff like "man!!!" or "UGH!! I Said I Wont Do IT Again and I'm Sorry!!". Also this give him no outlet to release the energy thus creating a vicious cycle. Now let me clarify, he does sometimes say things that are rude and mean and he does sometimes raise his voice not just at us but other adults. (Never at School, that I dont understand!) Its very hard to ground him and make it stick for that reason alone - its just like hell around my house when hes not getting his way. My husband wants to spank him and I have always said I would support that decision if it went that far but I still cant do it. I feel like my husband doesnt fully understand that he doesnt know hes doing something wrong untill after its done. My husband thinks I am too easy on him and that I give too much because I think his ADHD is worse than it really is. With that being said we are constantly fighting too, he says I undermine him, which I do and am working on, but all the same we need a plan.

He will be back on his meds today, we are going to try the patch. I hope this will

Kim Clemons
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 11:15am

HI, and welcome

I have never let my DD use ADHD as an excuse to get away with anything, or to get out of doing anything. IMO they can learn to control their behavior. Spanking never works, and tends to cause some kids to regress, time out however does wonders.

We use a rewards system, with marbles.

different behaviors get different amounts of marbles, and lose them also. For example, if she takes out the trash and feeds the dogs she gets 25 marbles in her "IN" box. If she gets smart mouthed she loses 30. I use a Ziploc container for each "box", and 1000 or so marbles I got at walmart. We have a list of chores, required behaviors, and their values.

For rewards we also have a list, and we also do instant rewards, for example, a rave from a teacher may get her a movie rental,doing something without my asking will get her

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 12:25pm

I use a combination of push-ups and privileges these days. Mouthy-ness and back-talk earn him 5 push-ups (I watch to make sure he's doing them properly so that neither his joints, nor his back, are injured) each time. Almost everything else is tied to his love of computer/tv/video games. If I want him to do something (schoolwork, teeth brushing, medication, chores, ect.), it must be done before he can do his favourite things.

In the past, to deal with mischief, I opted to supervise him more closely, and keep him busy with organized activities (such as games, schoolwork-type things, and chores). He also did his fair share of computer/tv/video games, which had the benefit to me that they kept him out of trouble.

FWIW, I medicate for school only.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2009
Sat, 08-29-2009 - 3:37pm

Timeouts for us, have worked wonders.

Avatar for kathyjoenathan
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Mon, 08-31-2009 - 10:46am

I don't know how old your son is, maybe I missed it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2006
Mon, 08-31-2009 - 4:04pm

Taking away priviledges from my ds also works too. Right now he is really into the Pokemon Ranch on the Wii, and every day he can download a new Pokemon. If he is mouthy and not very cooperative in the morning before school, I will take away the Wii for the evening, therefore, no new Pokemon.

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