Don't know where else to turn..(long)
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|Thu, 09-11-2003 - 3:09pm|
This is the thrid board I have posted this post on, not knowing which would be a good place to post this....
I am new here on this board. I have a 10 year old son (stepson) with many many issues. At first everyone thought it was just because of his mom and dad getting divorced, and that ds son lives here with us in MA and mom lives in CA. The school felt bad and ingorned all the signs of ADD and other psych problems. Ds has been in my care since he was 3 years old, so I know him well. I have always thought ADD, but every year the school and teachers would say it is not ADD, it is what he went thru, ( which I might add, is not any differnt than any other parents that divorce) but as he grew older the signs were more noticable and more of a problem. His grades last year in 4th grade fell from A's to F's and the teacher and counslor took it amongst themselves to come to a conclusion on his grades, which was he had to get on a plane to visit his mom for Christmas, and he was nervous. Well ds can be play the victum so well, and he has done that with everyone that has come in contact with him.
Well I finally took him out of the school system and and to Mass General for testing. Well it came back that therer were evident signs of ADD. He has been put on Paxil from his therepist who thought he was suffering from depression. Know sure if it has helped. But now things have spun out of control. His vist to his mom and stepdad over the summer was a mess. He fought with sf the whole time, lied to everyone, and made mom's vist a living hell. Mom and myself get along real well, we have become very good friends over the years due to my son. So myself, my husband and mom are all on the same page, but can't seem to get anyone else until now. I finally got the core evualtion at the school, which the claim will be done and ready to talk about for an Oct 7th meeting. I got him a new outside counslor, which hopefully we discuss the taking him off paxil. I just know after the testing at school, at the meeting they are going to tell me he is fine, and there is nothing wrong. The school has been helping me, meaning the teachers, and I just think he is going to be put aside. I know SE costs the school money, and I strongly feel that when I had brought up the core testing to his teacher last year, that it was waste, well that is what she told me, that I would be wasting time if I got this testing done, that he did not need it, there were no signs of ADD he is just depressed. Needless to say myself and the teacher hardly spoke after that, until I walked into the SE department with my recomendation from Mass General, I guess that got the ball rolling and he was bumped up to the beginging of the list for testing this year. But I do fell they are going to prove themselves right at the meeting.
At this point, I know meds and children are a big thing, but I will try anything to helpo my son in life. He has no friends, I feel as though he is just there! Here in a nutshell is my son day to day, min to min......
Simply tasks such as brushing teeth and hair and a huge deal, never looks at you when you talk, takes the shortcuts in everything he does. He has no body coornadtion what so ever, he is emtionally and socially behind. He can not be with more than ONE kid at a time, can not play in groups, he strives for attention 24/7 from anyone he can get it from. Wants everything to be about him and just him. His self esteem seems low, but in the next breath he walk around as though he is too good to do this, or too good to talk to this person. Can not get him to go outside, would sit in front of the TV all day, rolling all over the floor, flippying around the couch. He reads in the dark and does not thing twice about turning a light on. He does alot of "deer in the head lights look" when he is being asked a question. No matter what time he goes to bed at night, his body is up at 5 in the morning, and he just sits in his room until the two youngest get up, around 7 am. He fights with his 4 year old and 2 year old siblings as though they are peers. He got into a fight last year with a girl, who was touching him first, but when he got mad, he turn around and pushed this girl down the stairs, when confronted by me on the issue, he told me he never knew that you were not suppose to touch or hit a girl. See he is very very behind.
We are at our last rope with this. I don't know what to do. It had got so bad last school year that me and dh were ready to send him to go live with his mom in CA. It was too much for us. We have two other children we need to deal with, and my youngest with many GI problems. After this summer his mom told me that he was out there and was the same way, she too said I can't have this, it was tearing her marriage apart. Not to mention she too has a two year old.
I know my situation is a little different since there are other issues, but when you take them out, my ds lives in a two parent family, with two siblings, I am a stay at home mom, our children never need or sometimes, want for things. Mom may live in CA, but she is in his life in a big way. Can anyone help me,offer any advice? I feel like I am ready to just explode with frustration....Thanks for letting me vent...and for reading...I can also be contacted at Crispyfunk@aol if anyone has any information that I can read or something...again, thank you