Don't know where to turn :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2004
Don't know where to turn :(
9
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 10:12am

I am so lost right now. My DS (3) is throwing our family for a loop. We adopted him at 10weeks of age and was always a very happy little guy, slept and ate well. Once he got moving he has been crazy. He is one of 8 children from the same birthparents and 3 others have been diagnosed with ADHD. We are in very close contact with his birthsister who has ADHD and they are identical in behaviours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2008
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 11:43am
We got help for our son at three. It can be done. You'll have to overcome roadblocks, but with persistence, you can make it happen.

Forget the pediatrician. What you want is to see a specialist -- a developmental pediatrician, a child psychiatrist or a neuropsychologist. This are the ones out there who can diagnose ADHD with accuracy. It will depend a lot on your insurance plan which one you can see. We were lucky in that our son's pediatrician referred us to a child psychologist for behavioral tips and from there we moved up in the chain. When our son was kicked out of preschool at three, we got the golden ticket with the psychiatrist. Until that point, we couldn't access her. Same comments about he's only three, his behavior is extreme but there's nothing more we can do. Kicked out of preschool, boom, suddenly everything we shared was important and he could see the psychiatrist.

The strong family history in your situation is a huge plus in a way, because it may help you move along in the medical arena once you get past the roadblock (in your case, the general doctors who don't understand ADHD).

We did behavioral therapy with our son when he was three, tried a couple of mild non-ADHD meds they thought might help (Tenex and Clonidine, which did nothing and had to be tapered up and down, wasting a ton of time) and when he was four, he got to try Ritalin. WOW! On day one, magic.

You can do this. I would start looking into what you need to do to see a specialist in your health plan and take it from there.

Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2008
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 11:51am
I agree, you want to see a Specialist, preferably a Neuropsychologist because of his young age. There probably won't be an eval yet, or meds, but therapy can do wonders
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 1:08pm
Hi mcbaby04! You've gotten same great advice, just follow those mommy instincts and keep pushing for help.

Does he tell you why he is stealing food? Would it help if you kept snacks in a basket just for him that he can help himself when he wants one? You could always limit how much you put in there, but gives him some of the control also.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2003
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 4:18pm

Many hugs to you and as the others have said the right expert can made a big difference.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 7:39pm

A couple things to keep in mind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2004
Fri, 04-29-2011 - 9:13am
Thanks everyone for your insight and encouragement. We do know that his birthmother used crack-cocaine during the entire pregnancy and our little man did test positive at birth but fortunately he only suffered mild withdrawal symptoms shortly after that passed farilt quickly. Birth mom never had any prenatal care and I would would assume she did not eat well as she was homeless living from motel to motel. We know there is a background and yet doctors seem to ignore us. I don't know how to make them listen.
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Fri, 04-29-2011 - 1:23pm

<<>>. Find one of the specialists we've recommended, and they WILL listen!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2004
Fri, 04-29-2011 - 2:17pm
Not too sure where everyone is from but I live in Ontario Canada and you usually have to get referred to a specialist by your family doctor.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2008
Fri, 04-29-2011 - 2:23pm
Throw a big stink with the family doctor. Be emphatic about how serious this is. You might also see if there's a CHADD chapter in your area (I'm guessing they're also up in Canada) and see if they can offer any suggestions for navigating the health system up there.