DS told classmates he has ADHD...

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Registered: 03-26-2003
DS told classmates he has ADHD...
4
Sat, 10-03-2009 - 8:52am
He's 11 and in middle school, and there is a huge mix of kids who are trying to separate the kids into cool and uncool. One asked DS yesterday why he was so weird, and DS said because I'm ADHD. ARGGG, that's what happens when your cutie is a little less mature than his peers ;-) He has lots of friends and is doing well, so I hope this doesn't grow into a huge problem. I'm afraid the kids will start talking to his entire team, and then he will be ostracized. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can tell him to try to minimize problems? He's having a hard time just ignoring the bullying type. Thanks in advance.
Lisa
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Registered: 06-10-2007
Sat, 10-03-2009 - 11:28am

I wouldn't worry about it too much, DD has told her friends since day 1. Maybe he is self advocating, in his own way? DD has always done that, her fave thing to tell teachers is " No, I am not ADHD, I HAVE ADHD". MIddle school kids are strange, and probably think it is cool.

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

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Registered: 02-03-2007
Mon, 10-05-2009 - 10:55am
I would agree with the other poster here.
kids
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-05-2009 - 11:24am
There are always those idiotic kids in middle school, nothing your kid says/doesn't say is going to change that. What he could get is understanding from those kids who are more of that bent. My kid (now 12) has been telling people about ADHD for years now. Indeed, if you ask him to say something about himself, that's pretty much his lead-off remark. I think he hopes teachers will be more understanding if they know. I know for sure that the kids he gets along best with just now tend to be ADHD-types themselves, there's a "fellow-feeling" thing there.
Rather than ignoring--that's pretty impossible for my kid, and was for me when I was his age--the bullying comments, I'd recommend helping him come up with good responses, if he feels he can say it. Is he getting mad, or sad? For my kid, it was when he could turn the bully's words back that it seemed to get better--my favorite story is when the bully was teasing him & his friend and making fun of their last names. My kid said that the bully couldn't even say their names right...he rode away & somehow felt he had to come back and say them right, and that ended *that* tease. Plus, it made my kid feel so empowered, he found (6th grade, last year) that he could handle one bully at a time. This year, hopefully he'll be able to handle them in groups. The other thing we found was important was for my son to know when to report stuff--our school is pretty good about listening, especially if it gets physical at all (throwing rocks, for instance). I don't know what your school is like, but if he's dealing with a lot of bullying, encourage him to find out when he should be reporting what, or contact your counselor or whoever & ask.
Megan
Megan
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-05-2009 - 1:27pm
Thank you all for your responses. It definitely upset me more than him ;-) We found a book about teasing/bullying and talked about the best way to handle it if it happens again. He is going to try to turn it into a complement. I have always been open telling about his adhd, so there's really no reason for him not to be also. This is going to be an interesting three year middle school ride.