Is this ever going to get any easier?
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|Tue, 09-23-2003 - 3:42pm|
I posted on this board for a very short time about a year or so ago (I recognize some of the same folks here), but haven't in some time. My DS is 8 (will be 9 in Nov.) and was diagnosed ADHD about a year ago. At that time he was given the whole Stanford Binet assessment and had scores that are sky high, so I know he is bright. His school work, when I finally get him to do it, is excellent, but, well, here is my reason for posting...
After trying many different meds and doses (Ritalin, Concerta, Adderall) we have been doing "okay" on Strattera. I say "okay" because life is nowhere near a cakewalk, but far better than the downright frightening rebounding he used to experience, but still many issues.
Tantrums. Complete and utter meltdowns, some complete with biting himself til he bleeds. They seemingly come out of nowhere and often end almost as abruptly. Everyday is an enormous battle over homework - we spend a minimum of 1 hour "discussing" (okay, sometimes fighting) over doing it. He bangs it out quickly and accurately once he does it, but the lead in to it leaves me anxious, upset and with a headache (I also have a 21 month old, so you can imagine the mania in my house!) He will try to make all sorts of deals (like today he wanted to skip religious school on the promise that he would be cooperative in doing him homework the rest of the week -- note to DS: you have to do your homework without fuss EVERY night) and will do his darnedest to wear me down until he is the victor. I don't cave, but I feel awful all the time.
Unpredictability. Yesterday we were late to swim team practice (he loves swimming and excels at it, but, you guessed it, he was fighting me over going thus making us late). I was sure that he was going to freak over the fact that practice was in full swing when he arrived but, shockingly, he was fine. I felt my shoulders up around my ears and got a headache just from the anticipation of it.
I adore adore adore DS, but there are times that I want nothing more than to get away from him. I dread his arrival home from school because I never know what I am going to get and I often get a freak out of some sort over the most trivial things.
In addition to all this, my father is very ill with cancer (we are very close) as is my FIL. My two kids are extremely high maintenance (the little one is a sweetheart but at the age where he hasn't developed any sense yet so I have to keep a constant watch on him). I am totally overwhelmed with all that is happening in my life and feel like I am somehow failing my kid. I thought once we knew what was happening for him it would be easier to handle, but that hasn't been the case.
I am sorry for the rambling and whining, but I am feeling so trapped that I have been dreaming that I was thrown in jail...
Any words of advise would be greatly appreciated.