Feel like husband has hard time w/ son's adhd/tics
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|Mon, 08-27-2012 - 7:44pm|
I don't know if others have this issue, but I feel hurt and upset that my husband has a hard time connecting w/ our son. Not to say Luke is the easiest child in the world (energetic, interrupts, moody, fights w/ sister), but I feel like I'm often alone fighting for him and believing he's a work in progress. My husband constantly says "he just drains me", "he pushes all my buttons", "he drives me crazy", etc. He will attempt to play w/ Luke but not often patiently; then, Luke will get upset he's not doing well, and dh gives up and just plays w/ our daughter b/c she's easier to play with. Or they will play a board game together, and Luke gets restless and moves around alot - dh loses patience and tells Luke to stop or he can't play the game. And today, I was telling dh that Luke missed getting on the bus at school to go home, so I had to pick him up, which I should have known would started the "that kid drives me crazy" - yes, it made me a bit upset and I talked to Luke about keeping his ears open at the end of school for his bus announcement. But it made me sooo mad when I said "this kid will make you proud one day" to which he responded "well, you know we have to be realistic". (?!) What does that mean? He's 7. He's smart and rises to any attention and award (loves earning marbles at home for prizes). Yea, he can be a little thunderstorm sometimes, but he also blows me a kiss and I catch it on my cheek, then I blow him one and catch his kiss. And he came up behind me while I was washing dishes this evening and hugged me and said "I love you". It just hurts that my dh doesn't have more patience. Luke has tics, which Matt can barely handle - and Luke sees it. Luke will have enough of a hard time without feeling alienated at home too.
When my dd finishes her vision therapy, I'm really hoping to seek some counseling (hopefully find a therapist experienced w/ adhd kids) for insight on how to better handle Luke, for Luke himself, and definitely for my husband and I. I just feel sad about this. I feel like I'm the only parent cheering him on.