going crazy over here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
going crazy over here.
Tue, 05-27-2003 - 9:26pm
hi everyone,

I need some help, DH and I are going crazy!!

my step-son is 9, he was recently diagnosed as

ADHD. He's on concerta right now, but it doesn't

seem to make a difference. he's extremely hard

headed and stubborn. he doesn't listen to us or

his teachers. several times in school he just

decided he wasn't going to do his work so he

didn't. needless to say he barely passed. he's

also gifted but not a bit of common sense (last

week he put a can of soup in the microwave to

heat it up, he knows better than that). he's

also very spoiled by grandma, which we are in

the process of putting a stop to it. my husband

was in the navy for the first 4 yrs of DS's life,

grandma raised him during that time. she never

disciplined him, always let him do what he wanted.

by the time he was 7 yrs old, she had bought him

a computer, sony play station, tv, vcr, dvd player,

game boy & several games. he also had a tv, own

bedroom, own playroom, vcr, and computer at her house.

now he's not ever grateful for anything we buy him.

if I buy him something and he's not with me, when

I give it to him it's not thank you, but why didn't

you buy this one or that instead. The pychiatrist

that I bring him to now for his medication doesn't

seem to help much. I told him I didn't know how to

discipline him and he just said "restriction". so

far we've done a lot of that. he doesn't have his

own tv, vcr, dvd player or computer at home (now it's

ours). we limit his time watching tv, playing video

games and time on the computer. we limit his time at

grandma's. I guess this is normal with all kids, but

nothing he ever does is his fault. it's always someone

else's. when he doesn't have his homework in school,

he tells his teacher that I took it out of his school

bag and didn't put it back.

any suggestions on how to teach him to listen to his

parents and teachers? also we'd like to teach him


any help would be appreciated.



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Tue, 05-27-2003 - 9:59pm
I don't have the answers, but a few suggestions....

If the Concerta doesn't seem to help, then it's either not the right med for him or not a high enough dose. That would be something to talk to a dr about.

A couple of book suggestions....some people have had some success with 1,2,3 Magic by Thomas Phelan. It deals with discipline. A good book that deals with ADD/ADHD and some strategies to deal with it is Driven to Distraction.

And if the psychiatrist that you're dealing with doesn't seem to help, then see what you can do about finding another one.

Stick around here. Lots of people that have been there, done that, and a wealth of information.



PJPIIadoration.jpg picture by Kimberly_sahm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 9:53pm
Hi Karen,

thanks. Sometimes it's really hard because I don't have

any children of my own, and DS came into my life when

he was 7 1/2 (two years ago). I've only been married to

his dad for a year now, so really I've only been acting

as mom for one year. I want to make a difference in his

life. I want him to be able to look back and say that he

had a happy childhood. I just get so frustrated at times

because he's soooo hard headed and determined to do what

he wants.

DH and I are also trying to conceive, so I'm on the fertility

message boards also. While I was looking around yesterday, I

found this group.

Thanks for the recommendations on the books.