Has anyone read...

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Registered: 05-26-2003
Has anyone read...
4
Fri, 05-30-2003 - 9:06pm
I'm reading "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene? Sadly I'm only on page 38 as I have a hard time dealing with the day-to-day ADD issues and then, after she's in bed, reading about them too. Anyhow, it's so far so good. I'm curious if anyone has finished the book and used some of the methods Dr. Greene has recommended.

Traci

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-31-2003 - 12:42am
Oh yes. I was heart broken at how much I needed the book. I must say that when I was first reading it...it went against every belief I had as a parent at the time. It felt like they were saying let these kids run over us and do what the hell they want. I never used the entire basket concept but I did certainly adapt some of my thoughts on how I looked at my son and his problems. I think you remember they use extreme cases in the book and just take what you need from the book and discard the rest. It really did help me though.

Kim

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-31-2003 - 8:52am
I've read it, and there is a lot of this that makes sense. The one 'problem' I have with Dr. Greene's methods is that he doesn't really say what happens when you negotiate and then the child doesn't live up to his end of the bargain. The 'basket' thing makes a lot of sense ... throw out the issues not even worth fighting about, save only the 'big' issues for those that are non-negotiable, and leaving everything else in Basket B, for the things that you can debate and all. Although some people see this as a cop-out, the truth is that by pre-decided what issues you are willing to battle over, you are actually giving yourself more (not less) control over the situation. But, what I found with Kevin (my 11 y.o. ADHD/ODD child) is that he wasn't always living up to his end of the bargain, and then I'm stuck with "ok, now what?" and Dr. Greene doesn't go into that. (There is a lady that frequents the ODD Board who was actually part of Dr. Greene's workshop/study, so she's truly the 'expert' on his methods.)

There is another book that I truly liked better for ODD issues, which is Kenneth Wenning's "WINNING COOPERATION ... a Comprehensive Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder." In that, he talks FIRST about how the parent has to change before the child can/will, and he made more sense (to me) than the other. I sort of use a combination of the 2 methods with my son.

Nancy

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0765702312/qid=1054384941/sr=2-2/103-0872533-6443803?v=glance&s=books

Nancy 

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 05-31-2003 - 10:20am
I read the whole book and think it's wonderful. I have used it, or should I say am trying to because it's not as easy as it sounds. My son has ADHD/Bipolar...still debating the ADHD part, but he can't take stimulants, and where his moods fluctuate it's hard to determine what stuff ends up in each basket every day. Some times I can problem solve with him on quite a few things, other days I can problem solve with nothing.

So for me, unless he reaches a point of relative stability I will not really be able to use the book effectively, though I try and I guess it's good practice. I must admit so far it is the most effective way of handling Jamie I have come across to date

Elspeth

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-01-2003 - 9:02am
Elspeth, This is what I did when we were in your position with an unstable child. Most of everything went into basket C. Only thing in basket A was safety & taking meds. We HAD to do it this way & slowly work out baskets B & C because my son was so unstable even taking a bath would end up in a 3 hour melt down. The book did help ME to look at what I was doing to get the meltdowns going. Things like taking a bath everynight, I decided, were NOT worht the fight. So we put a limit of at least a bath every 3rd night, then after a while & stability, changed it to every other night. I learned that I had to be flexible in MY rules in order to help my son. We lowered the stess level in our home by using Dr.Greene's ideas. And remember you are reading about the extreme cases, but by adapting it to your case it can be a useful tool. Stability is the key in most of your struggles. I am not saying everything will go away, cuz it wont. BUT he will be much more able to deal with things like the word "NO".