Having a rough day

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Having a rough day
3
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 10:29am
I am still waiting for the phone call to tell me what to do about Jamie's meds. I spoke to his pdoc on Tuesday after the evaluation and he told me to leave the meds alone until he called me back. Well this is Friday and he works at the hospital today so I have no way to reach him.

Jamie is swinging back and forth between a raging lunatic, I've already been scratched and bitten, to sticking to me like velcro. I see a few moments of the "real him" in between but by Friday I'm so bloody tired of it all I have to draw on all my resolve to interact with him based on his mood of the moment.

I have no way to rate his mood today, he's just exploding with no warning. He's going from 0-60 in less than a second so I have no opportunity to defuse or divert. I almost didn't give him his Ritalin this morning and then I thought well that's not what the doctor said and did it anyway. I'm kicking myself for it now.

He is def not getting any benefit out of it today. He's all about fantasy today and he's getting carried away with his imagination.

Oh yeah, yesterday he scared the daylights out of me, he did something I've never seen him do before. We have this ramp that goes to our shed that my SO built to get his snow blower and lawn mower out of it. It has no railing and until now Jamie has been afraid to stand on it. Well yesterday he got on it and was hanging his toes over the edge telling me he could fly off it. It's 8 feet high on one end and there are boulders below where he would have jumped. My neighbour and I both saw what was going on and I motioned to him to go over and he managed to move him off it without altercation. If I had tried I'm sure he would have jumped. He was convinced he was invincible and nothing could hurt him.

It took me 30 minutes to lure him inside and set the alarm so I would know if he tried to go back out. He ended up staying up until midnight and still wouldn't sleep even after I lay down with him. He slept until 9 this morning and woke up all grumpy and miserable.

I've got to get him off stimulants. I don't know how much longer I can do "as the doctor ordered" and not take him off all his meds.

Anyway, I'm one tired Mommy and for Mother's Day just would like a day in a hotel with a spa and room service, a few good books and some quiet.

Elspeth

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 1:00pm
Hey, I hear ya. We'll have to call this the Mother's day effect or something. I have spent the last two days in tears and trying not to beat the living crap out of mine.

I was lucky and had an appt with her psychrist this am. We are just about to try her 6th med as of today. He's given us Risperidal this time. Hope to hell this works as none of the others have done any good. I asked if I could speak with him alone this am, we were walking down the hallway and he asked what was wrong. I burst into tears and said I didn't want to be her mother any more. By the end of the appt he had me laughing again, maybe I will use him as my shrink as well, he's wonderful.

Ritilan(regular was aggressive and slow release was too drugged), dexadrine(disaster, tried to kill the dog etc..), clonidine(nothing that I remember), imipramine(too sleepy to do anything), celexa(disinibition - stealing, trashing the house, not sleeping etc..).

I'm not too sure how much more of this I can take without ending up in the loonie bin myself. We should get the final results of her private testing by the end of this month and I was looking forward to that. The Dr. this am told me not to get my hopes up too much, he said just cause I will know what's wrong will not actually make her behaviour any better. Isn't that the truth!!!!

People keep telling me not to give up, it can only get better!!!! And then it gets worse, everytime I think we've hit rock bottom, we dig deeper. Where's the light at the end of the tunnel????

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}} That's all I have to share at the moment!!!!

Susan

Avatar for kathy_in_ga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-09-2003 - 4:12pm
I am not telling you what to do, and it is good you follow docs orders. But if it were me I'd stop giving the ritalin. It's not helping anyway, so why not, is what I would figure. If doc asks I would say he refused to take it. Your son is in danger & is suffering, he needs help now. Can you call & leave a message at the docs office, will he call you back? If so, tell him the things your DS is doing. Let him know that you need help now, not on Mon. If DS gets too bad & dangerous, take him to the emergency room. Maybe they can get the doc to help. I know this behavior is scary, it's so frightening to see your little one do these things. The fact that he thought he wouldn't get hurt shows he is manic & showing grandiose behaviors, a sign of BP.

Hugs to you, and keep fighting for the right kind of help for him. All he has is you to do this for him. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-10-2003 - 8:09pm
{{{Elsbeth}}} I don't really have many words of wisdom to offer here - the others have, per usual, done an excellent and eloquent job. I agree about calling the p-doc and taking your child off of the ritalin and, if necessary, dropping by your friendly neighborhood ER so that you can actually converse with a medical professional in a timely manner. This has to be so scary and so frustrating for you!! I hope that, somehow, your mother's day spa fantasy comes true. Meanwhile, sending out a boatload of {{{hugs}}} and support your way! ~ ruth