Help.. How do you do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2006
Help.. How do you do it?
10
Thu, 03-04-2010 - 5:40pm

I am losing my mind.. I have three children.. My daughter *the oldest* has ADHD with the hyperactivity/implusive. she is on Ritalin and it works during school but it wears off at home.. and she is bouncing off the walls and on top of that I'm beginning to wonder if my 4 year old has it.. because he is starting to behave very badly.. I don't know what to do.. I just want to crawl into a hole and have some time without the craziness...I am married but my dh is at work until 6 these last two weeks then he's starting a new shift he'll be working 3 to midnight.. so that means It will be all me with 3 kids *the baby is not hard but does require my attention* I just don't know what to do anymore.. I feel like pulling all of my hair out.. 
 
ETA: that with my daughter the meds do control here behavior in school but I've still noticed she's not learning much.. I need to talk to the teacher as we just moved to a new school.. but it doesn't even last long enough for her to get home to do homework anymore.. and she is on the max dosage of ritalin she can take in a day.. 20 mg long acting.




Edited 3/4/2010 5:43 pm ET by sweet.dreams.mommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 3:50pm

The observations testing etc are generally to rule out other things, and to test for Comorbids. A child can have ADHD and Bi polar, or OCD, or ODD, or many many other things. They can also not have ADHD, and have something that mimics the symptoms.


Being smart has nothing to do with ADHD, in fact many ADHD kids are gifted, the reason for the IQ test. It can be done on a 5yo, alot of Dr's won't until age 6 or 7, but it can be done.

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2006
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 3:43pm
How would you test a child that is in kindergarten with an IQ test? She is very smart, she just learns differently that others, and of course without meds is unable to sit still and concentrate, I think her predominant part of her adhd is the hyperactive/impulsive, though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2006
Sat, 03-13-2010 - 3:35pm
oh no the dr didn't say that I did.. I guess I didn't realize that was all combined.. He did some blood work and stuff, but I'm not sure for what.. But if a child has all the symptoms of ADHD and many people including myself, and teachers can see it.. why would they need to do all of the observations.. I mean it doesn't take long to see how she acts? There is no doubt in my mind that she is ADHD.. my husband had it his dad has it and my dh grandmother has it and who knows how many of the other family members on his side do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 7:12pm

the thing is, there is no Hyper/impulsive/innattentive ADHD, it is called Combine Type, and if the proper testing had been done, the Neuropsych would know that. An accurate Diagnosis will include testing for allergies, bloodwork, EKG's, MANY hours of observations and IQ testing

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2006
Wed, 03-10-2010 - 5:54pm
that's weird.. I dunno he told me based on her weight. I mean it does work for her.. she's got all the textbook symptoms of the hyperactive/impulsive, and inattentive Adhd.. To get the assistance we applied for they said they might require additional testing from a dr, that they would choose so, maybe they will send us to one of those drs. For now I have no Idea how I would even get her to one..
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 9:51am

You need to find a Neuropsychologist to evaluate, and a Psychiatrist for meds. An internal medicine dr is fine if

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2006
Mon, 03-08-2010 - 2:05am

she was seeing her pediatrician.. he's internal medicine and pediatrics.. I'm pretty sure she does have adhd because my dh had it when he was younger.. we just moved to a new area, so I have to get insurance again to find a dr around here.. I've got enough ritalin to last till the end of the month and then it's done. The only reason he would only give her 20 mg is because of her weight.. there are days it seems to work better than others.. the meds seem to only last about 6-7 hrs.


as far as having a break... right now is about the only break I get when everyone is sleeping.. I would LOVE to go out.. but I cannot leave my baby.. with anyone.. I suffer from anxiety and I won't leave him with anyone.. I was like that with the other kids too.. it's really hard for me to even have him out of my site. I think I need to get my daughter more help.. we have an appointment to see about getting assitance for her.. so hopefully that will go

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 8:58am

How old is she?

Next, I DO think you need to play with the meds. If possible, I'd try Concerta, because it's longer-acting (3 doses instead of 2), and most insurances cover it. If you're paying out-of-pocket, it's pricier, of course, but I'm going to presume you're not. Other options: She can take a "booster" dose of plain ritalin to cover afternoon homework time. That's what we do when the meds have worn off, and it's very, very standard when you're working with meds that don't cover the whole day. That'll get you, with luck, sanity until nearly bedtime. Lastly, 20 mg LA ritalin isn't the top dosage for under 12, because my kid was prescribed more than that before he was 12--as I recollect it, 40 mg LA is the under-12 limit (mine is well over that limit now, but the meds clearly work *well* for him if he has enough, so we roll with it...and he's 12 now!)

If you haven't, I'd read a couple parenting-ADHD-kids books, there's some stuff in those that works well for ADHDers (and non-ADHDers) to take the place of the stuff that pure & simple doesn't work.

Are you getting ANY breaks, EVER? Because...well, your baby might not be a problem, but it's still a BABY, which means it's sucking time & energy from you, no matter how perfect. And you sound SO much like you could use a break. Go out with some friends, leaving kids with DH (surely there's some night he doesn't work during the week?); take a bath & relax; curl up with a good book...whatever YOU like to do. I've had plenty of days where I just want to crawl into a hole--I hope things get better for you, too.

Megan
Megan
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 03-04-2010 - 10:42pm

Hi, and welcome


What type of Dr does she see?We deal thru meds, therapy, and consitency in our routine. DD's Psychiatrist is wonderful, and helps with anything.


A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Thu, 03-04-2010 - 9:11pm

Who is treating your dd? Is it a psychiatrist, or a neurologist, or your pediatrician? I ask because most specialists report that Ritalin SR or LA does not work reliably from day to day, or person to person. If it works, fine, but it often doesn't. Some report that it really doesn't last longer than regular Ritalin. The main reason to use it is cost, not effectiveness. This drug was very popular in the past because it was supposed to last longer. But it was often a poor functioning drug, and with the much better choices now, it would be a definite "last choice". If your dd was being treated by a psychiatrist or a neurologist, they would KNOW that. A pediatrician would not, which is why I, and many here, do NOT recommend that you have a pediatrician treat ADD and related psycho/emotional disorders. A skinned knee or a sore throat, sure. Something INSIDE the brain? Not so much.

Also, different drugs control different things. Some are better at controlling behavior, while others are better at controlling concentration. A good psychiatrist will try different drugs, try combos, and find what WORKS. Plus, they will do a definitive workup so they know exactly what is going on, and what they are treating. Your dd may have other, comorbid disorders, on top of her ADD, or she may not even have ADD at all. There are a lot of "lookalike" disorders out there, and it takes a specialist to figure it all out.