Home schooling anyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Home schooling anyone?
12
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 11:10pm

I have a son who is 5 and not diagnosed ADHD but I strongly suspect it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 11:28pm

Hi, I have not homeschooled, because honestly, I am not a teacher and do not have the patience. I have heard great things, from parents of kids with and without ADHD


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Have you considered other problems? Learning Disabilities, PTSD, Giftedness,

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 5:08am

That's the frustrating thing:

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 8:06am

<<>>

I'm homeschooling this year and I'm loving it. While it has been a really good choice in terms of meeting his academic needs, I haven't seen a lessening of his ADHD symptoms. Homeschooling is not a cure for ADHD and my DS (almost 13 yo) is medicated while we have lessons. For him, homeschooling is like having a one-on-one tutor every minute of his school day.

He's caught up completely in less than a year, and in light of his wanting to return to public school next year, I'll be allowing him to decide for himself next August. I'll probably homeschool him when he's in high school for math (this would be simple with our school system, to have him take some subjects at school and some through correspondence courses).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 10:04am

He's had a full IEP workup then? IQ testing, testing for various LDs, etc.? Things work but the teachers don't use them--that's really not good. You need all these accommodations ON the IEP, then, so you have an appropriate hammer. Don't know if you'll have to go through the whole behavioral side of things with evals & all first, but you need that stuff in there. You can call an IEP meeting any time you feel the need--and teachers not doing IEP accommodations counts!

Haven't homeschooled, but I certainly see mine do enough homework to know: no, the ADHD doesn't go away at home. Yes, OK, it's quieter, etc., so I can see where you're going with that, and yes, at young ages, a bunch of what mine would get upset over we simply handled at home (warnings about upcoming changes, etc.). "Trouble with transitions"--very much at school, but not so much at home, because we handle transitions differently because we can.

The thing he won't get, homeschooled, is social skills (yes, obviously, there are things you can do about that!); social skills are a huge place my ADHDer has problems--that's fairly common & what you are describing sounds like that, too.

It sort of sounds like your teachers think that once he demonstrates he has a skill via sticker chart rewards or whatever, he will then be able to continue without the reward. I'd say they're phasing things out too fast--I remember this happened sometimes, 'specially when mine was 4 (preschool). He'd seem to "get" it, but then...not. At that age, it was all social skills stuff we were working on; I remember the 20+ yr veteran preschool teacher saying she just hadn't dealt with kids where help in the first 3 steps didn't trigger everything else. Or, possibly, I suppose, they don't have *time* to implement them, maybe he needs an aide (OK, probably not really, but you might get more attention if you quietly say "well, if YOU can't do it, maybe he needs an aide to implement these?")

Megan
Megan
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 11:04am

<<>>

My DS's social skills have improved since we started homeschooling. He attends various organized activities that are socialization-based (so not sport related), but none are for as long a duration as school was (they range from one to three hours each per week). The result is less depression and anxiety (directly related to the socialization he was experiencing at school) which was a definite barrier to developing appropriate social skills. He's a changed kid...happy, relaxed, and confident versus depressed, anxious, and angry most of the time.

I don't know why there is a perception that if you aren't sitting in a classroom with 25 other kids for 30 hours a week that you'll be socially stunted. It's like saying that an adult who doesn't work with a bunch of other people full-time is going to be deprived socially, despite having friends and being a member of several social clubs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Thu, 03-25-2010 - 1:47pm

I have been homeschooling my 7 year old all along. He always was running more and listening less than other kids. He started speech therapy at 3, occupational therapy at 4. I wanted him to get some other classroom time to help with his social skills but they said no because he was ahead academically. (Head Start he could do, but it was in Spanish and I needed him speaking the language we speak at home first.)

He did not do kinder because they gave him to the same teacher that his sister had for kinder. 8 boys transferred right away with her because the teacher had unrealistic expectations and shamed for discipline. (Long story there - lets just say she should have retired many years before.)

We have been doing various forms of virtual school at home. It is actually going pretty well - we can get done in a few hours and he can run around as much as he wants. We do some stuff on the trampoline, he sits on an exercise ball or core stabilizer disk to do his work, and it helps some. I do a lot of redirecting and refocusing. (He can get distracted by the designs on the pencil, LOL.) No hours of mindless homework of stuff he already knows, making him sit still and concentrate for even longer during the day than his body can handle.

I can't say that homeschooling has lessened his symptoms, but I can say that he is maturing and able to focus more each year. It is more a matter of him maturing into his brain than it is forcing his brain into what the rest of the age of kids are expected to do. He has not experienced frustration from teachers, belittlement or feelings that he can't live up to expectations that I know he would have felt if he were at school. He loves to please adults and feels bad when he can't, and I know that he just couldn't live up to that kinder teacher and she would have ruined his love of learning.

We just had him evaluated to see exactly what was going on and ADHD with fine muscle control issues was what we were told. But, no recommendation for medication as what we are doing is working for us.

It sounds like if your child has attachment issues, homeschooling may help with that, IMO. If he has just a few consistent people he has to deal with daily, for most the day, that is a good thing, right? (No substitute teachers to deal with either!) Clear, consistent expectations and consequences. Even if you plan on putting him back in school later, this may be good for the short term to get him out of the manipulation habit that he seems to have formed.

You should also visit the homeschooling message board, there are lots of parents of kids with special needs who are homeschooling. Some do it for the kids, some because they are tired of dealing with the schools who won't follow through.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 03-29-2010 - 12:21pm
What you describe is what I meant by "there are things you can do about that!"--all I was trying to say is that if you homeschool, don't forget the social side, it's not just academics you need to work on.
Megan
Megan
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
Mon, 03-29-2010 - 1:17pm
Oh, ok :-)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-1999
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 2:46pm
I pulled my dd out of school after 1st grade. I didn't find out until this year (she's 19) that she was ADHD and bi-polar. I just knew school wasn't working out for her. She's very smart, but she did absolutely nothing at school but hide under her desk or a bean bag, or just plain try to escape. She was always in trouble, and she brought home 3-5 hours of homework every night because she did no work at school. I decided if I was sitting with her doing school work for that many hours a day, why waste 6 hours at school doing nothing productive. We started homeschooling at the beginning of 2nd grade. By the end of Oct. she was done with the 2nd grade curriculum, by the end of March she was done with the 3rd grade curriculum. It wasn't a cake walk. We still had a lot of discipline issues to deal with, but she would never have excelled the way she did academically, without homeschooling. She's a very successful college student now, despite dealing with the problems associated with her diagnosis. As far as social issues are concerned, she did much better once she was out of school. She was able to join clubs and participate in homeschool activities at her own comfort level. She had a lot of friends, went to prom, did sports, she was never deprived socially. I can't say what would have happened if she'd stayed in school, but I believe she would have continued to struggle socially.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2005
Fri, 04-09-2010 - 4:37pm

You are living my double life :).


You have described exactly what we have been going through for the last 2.5 years with the school.

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