I don't know what to do...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
I don't know what to do...
42
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 12:36pm

My 8yr old daughter is ADD and I don't know how to handle the fits she has. Our doctor told me for every fit take away one privilege for the day and start new every day. I've been doing this for 2 mo and it doesn't seem to be helping. Lately her fits have escalated into me screaming

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Registered: 12-01-2009
Thu, 12-03-2009 - 9:00pm
The tantrums are horrible. Sometimes she will scream, sometimes she demands that I calm her down, and if I refuse to hug her (because I can't stand to be touched when I'm that upset) she will come at me over and over. Lately she writes down how much she thinks we hate her and who she thinks likes her (ie: the cat or baby). This morning was good but shortly after school things went south. Everything seems ok right now so hopefully bed time goes smoothly. The sticker chart idea sounds like it is going to work so I am looking forward to less fits!
Avatar for kathyjoenathan
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Registered: 06-04-2003
Fri, 12-04-2009 - 7:30pm

I know how difficult it can be to put your own anger aside sometimes...I had to reply to your latest message (even though I already posted two replies on this threat, hope you don't mind).

Kathy

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Registered: 12-01-2009
Fri, 12-04-2009 - 10:02pm
Thanks for that post, I never thought of that. That really does make sense now that you mention it. I was wondering if I should wake her up on the weekends and keep doing the school day routine.... usually we just kinda go with the flow but I'm not sure about that now.
Avatar for kathyjoenathan
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Registered: 06-04-2003
Sat, 12-05-2009 - 7:50pm

We do not have a routine at our house on the weekends, well, Sunday's we usually do because we go to Church and the kids need to be at Sunday School -- Saturday's though, unless we have something to do, I let me son sleep in (and he can sleep in!)

Kathy

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Registered: 12-01-2009
Sat, 12-05-2009 - 8:47pm
That is very helpful. Tday was not very good, I did not go with the routine and maybe that's why. We will try the routine tomorrow.
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Registered: 12-01-2009
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 12:50am

My first thought about the anxiety is not to take your pediatricians word on it. My daughter could not fall asleep while on Adderall, so they gave her Clonodine to help her fall asleep. It is also ADHD med, but not stimulant. I have to wonder if it would have some anti-anxiety properties.

Dr. Todd Cartmell is the Dr.'s name. He has a website. I did a google search and it came up as the first link. I don't know if I can post links here, so if you need it, email me at dantes.circles@sbcglobal.net. I don't check this email very often, but I will get to it in the next week or so. If you respond to that email, I will give you my regular email address.

I haven't read his books. I really needed him to teach the technique to my daughter because she doesn't listen to me. Once he had her understanding the rules, he taught me how to use them.

Hope to hear from you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 1:01am

Yup. Weighted vests. They give kids with sensory issues a sense of being grounded. Imagine feeling like you are floating apart! My daughter is in charge of carrying things at school when they are walking in line because it helps her stay out of trouble, and the weight keeps her grounded.

My daughter does not want to be touched during a fit, but a glass of water helps her calm down. Not sure why. I have also tried to teach her relaxation techniques and gently reinforce that, yes, she can calm down.

Two other doctor thoughts: Child psychiatrists can evaluate, as can Pediatricians who specialize. The important thing is that you are allowed to be a part of your child's care. You want to be listened to, affirmed, respected. You want your child to be respected and listened to.

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Registered: 12-01-2009
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 1:10am

Mornings are AWFUL here too. I wait until I have to to wake her up because she is just a pistol. At her 504 staffing someone recommended the TimeTimer. The psychologist said that kids with ADHD have difficulty understanding elapsed time. Made sense to me. I mean, her morning routine is simple, but she falls apart every freakin day. So, I did get the timer, I have to say it does help. we don't use it every morning, but anytime she has a deadline, or is stressed about being ready for school, the timer gives her a visual color clue about how much time is left.

Good luck with all this advice from everyone! Evidently, you are not alone :-)

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Registered: 12-01-2009
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 9:33pm
She was diagnosed with the anxiety befor the ADHD. She only takes melatonin to help her sleep. It does help now though it took a while for her to stop getting up at night. She still does sometimes. I will definately check onto the doctor and his books. I like to read in my spare time (what ever that is). My daughter listens to me some of the time. So far the sticker chart is helping. I'll let you know what I find out about the books. Hopefully my library carries them.
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Registered: 12-01-2009
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 9:35pm
What is the 504 staffing?