I don't know what to do...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
I don't know what to do...
42
Tue, 12-01-2009 - 12:36pm

My 8yr old daughter is ADD and I don't know how to handle the fits she has. Our doctor told me for every fit take away one privilege for the day and start new every day. I've been doing this for 2 mo and it doesn't seem to be helping. Lately her fits have escalated into me screaming

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 10:01pm

A 504 plan is essentially a catch-all category for kids who don't qualify for an IEP, and is heavily financially motivated when it come to qualifying. I looked it up for a friend recently and the law is directed toward making accommodations for kids who can't learn due to external factors, for example, chronically ill and miss a lot of school, or blindness, or whatever. This allows for the school to provide a tutor or whatever need there is, both short term and long term, and is also more flexible in terms of services on an as needed basis. For example, if my daughter is hitting kids on the playground again, I call the school social worker, who pulls her out for a few weeks and works with her on how to play nicely with friends.

For kids who qualify for IEP, they have 'disabilities' that interfere with their ability to learn 'normally' so they qualify for services that continue throughout the year. Now, I use these terms loosely because my daughter wears a hearing aid for hearing loss and has ADHD, but she doesn't qualify. My son, on the other hand, was behind on a couple of preschool tasks, so he was identified as needing an IEP, when the truth of the matter was that there were two openings in the Early Ed program they needed to fill for the end of the school year. He is doing just fine and will probably start kindergarten next fall at the age of 5.

You should be able to do an online search for Section 504 in Education to get information on it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Sun, 12-06-2009 - 10:39pm

I would also suggest looking into an educational evaluation, but you

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
Mon, 12-07-2009 - 12:24am

Thanks for that great information! I have chosen not to pursue that route strategically. We are in a GREAT school district and they have been completely approachable and willing to work with us. We have a staffing every year like you do for IEP, so we discuss things and put plans in place, just in case. Because I see gradual improvement over time, I have hesitated to have her labeled, especially as she gets older.

This was the first school year where the bottom fell out regarding her behavior. Normally she saved it for me at home. We did some trial and error with meds (oral sensory issues-won't swallow pills or the little balls mixed in with chocolate pudding; skin sensitivity--can't use patch) and have seen remarkable improvement. Her grades shot up, she is not as aggressive, and has a better appreciation for personal space. Her mouth is still very impulsive and she says the most hurtful things to her siblings that just come out of nowhere. Like, "you're ugly", or "I hate your shirt". At the moment, that is my biggest stressor; how to deal with the sibling anger toward her. They think she gets away with everything, and to a point they are correct, because I pick my battles with her. And, she purposefully provokes them, which I read somewhere is actually how a child with ADHD likes to start their day because it is like a surge of caffeine for them. It is how they get their motor running. Fun for no one but her.

Anyhow, I appreciate the ideas. I am one of the lucky ones in a good school district because I know that is so often not the case. Most parents have to fight to get help for their kids. When my daughter was first evaluated, she only had one of the six criterion for IEP (hearing loss), so any of her other needs I had taken care of privately. She had private speech therapy and "graduated" in 4 months. Don't know if that would have happened in public school setting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
Mon, 12-07-2009 - 6:08pm
I have never heard of an IEP either. Are these things I should have heard about from the doctor or school?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
Mon, 12-07-2009 - 6:55pm

http://www.ed.gov/parents/needs/speced/iepguide/index.html
http://specialed.about.com/od/iep/a/iepGoalWriting.htm
http://www.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=life_edu_IEP

I wrote a bunch of stuff and it all got erased and now I have to go make dinner for some cranky kids. Take a look the links above. They probably will give you a lot of information. The CL has a lot of information too. She posted some information to me about the school responsibilities.

I would make a list of the exact things that you see that are affecting her ability to learn before contacting the school. For example, teacher says she doesn't stay in her chair, grades are very low, harasses or is harassed by other kids, etc.

Good luck. have really, really fussy kids here- sorry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Mon, 12-07-2009 - 7:33pm
A good Psychiatrist or neuropsychologist would know about an IEP or 504 plan, since they often have to speak with the school districts. A regular Dr or ped may not know, and the school isn't going to say anything either. Research is your friend, I suggest lots of it.

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
Mon, 12-07-2009 - 7:33pm
I understand cranky! Thanks for the links...
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Mon, 12-07-2009 - 8:25pm

<<...she purposefully provokes them, which I read somewhere is actually how a child with ADHD likes to start their day because it is like a surge of caffeine for them. It is how they get their motor running...>>> This is NOT TRUE. And I have an AD/HD dh, 2 AD/HD dds, and at least 4 AD/HD nieces and nephews. Plus the DOZENS more friends and family I've known over the years.

The behavior you describe is more typical of Oppositional Defiant Disorder, especially the deliberately picking fights, saying hurtful things, and aggressive behavior. ODDers often are AD/HD ALSO, but AD/HD behavior is NOT deliberately hurtful.

Also, your description of a 504 is OFF MARK also. Section 504 of the American with Disabilities Act insures that people with disabilities have equal ACCESS to the free, appropriate Public education that all non-disabled children are guaranteed. An IEP is an Individualized Education Program, and is designed for children who need more than equal ACCESS. An IEP mandates that disabled children must be EDUCATED to the best of their abilities, with a goal of being self sufficient and self supporting at the end. An IEP makes sure that kids with more profound problems make adequate yearly progress toward certain goals, for ex: By the end of 3rd grade, my child WILL be reading at 3rd grade level. By the end of 3rd grade, my child WILL be able to do 2 place addition and subtraction, and so on. The IEP has more built-in safeguards: besides the adequate yearly progress, there are also more rules concerning when and how a disruptive child may be removed from the classroom, AND what happens next, BECAUSE they still have to meet adequate yearly progress, and because behavior which is a defined and/or likely outcome of their disorder, cannot be held against them. A 504 does not have those safeguards. But if all one needs is a 504, then you shouldn't need those safeguards.

http://www.nsba.org/MainMenu/SchoolLaw/FederalRegulations/504-FAQs.aspx
http://www.wrightslaw.com/statute.htm

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
Mon, 12-07-2009 - 8:43pm
Thanks for the clarifications. My knowledge on the subject is clearly minimal and I was being informal. I'm sure cutemama will find your information much more helpful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2009
Mon, 12-07-2009 - 9:04pm

Another thought, while I am not disagreeing that my daughter may have ODD as well, I don't believe she acts with malice, it is impulse control, which is the hyper part of ADHD. Some kids just have the inattentive kind, some have the hyper kind. Mine is absolutely hyper beyond belief.

Also, my daughter is protected under the 504. She does have specific goals, not as specific as IEP, but goals nonetheless. And, she does have safeguards that protect her from regular disciplinary action should something happen. Additionally, if her negative behaviors were to escalate, she easily qualifies for an IEP, which I would request, in conjunction with the teacher, Assistant Principle, Psychologist, Social Worker, Occupational Therapist, and the nurse; all of whom I have purposefully formed excellent working relationships with.

I came here because being the mom of a child with ADHD is really hard. I wanted to meet other moms to talk to. I didn't expect that I would have to be qualified in all the intricacies of 504's and IEPs to have a say. I have 4 children that I am raising by myself and going to graduate school full-time so I can get a better job to support them. I apologize if any information I gave was not as factually accurate as yours. I answered questions as they were asked me. I also provided links. Hopefully they will repair any damage I have done. This was clearly a mistake.