I need to know what you think &...more

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
I need to know what you think &...more
Tue, 09-02-2003 - 11:40pm
what you would do..

My Ds started school today. When he came home he told me he had a good day and really likes his teacher.

Well a few hours later one of his class mates comes up and tells me that she needs to talk to me about ds..

Okay he is non medicated ad/hd.. He rocks and moves and has since the day he was born..

Today in school his teacher asked him in front of the class can't you sit still? Do you have ants in your pants? Do you have a problem??

If this were your child what would you do?

I am really upset and I am going to the school tomorrow and am going to tell the teacher that if he is suppose to have an IEP that there is a problem and if she can't handle my son rocking and moving then she has one of 2 choices. 1 call me and ask me do not embrass my son. Or 2 talk to the special education teacher and see if there is anything in his file...

I am sorry I think speaking to a child the way she spoke to my ds was one be littling to my son and made his classmates more aware of his rocking problem and other issues..

I think I would have called the child to a corner and asked him/her if she was okay then allow the child to explain if they wanted to.. This isn't a way to start a year..

What would you do before I expode about this

thank you in advance



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 8:36am
Yes, I would be talking to the teacher about this. Even if she thinks it was not a big deal or if she thinks she said it jokingly, another child did not perceive it this way and thought it was something that needed to be brought to your attention. Most likely other children thought the same thing. I would be diplomatic about the situation, since I have always found being nice and giving them the benefit of the doubt seems to get a lot farther than accusing them or talking down to them.

Sorry he had to be subjected to that. I hope it works out for you. How old is he?


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 12:25pm
Oh yeah, call the teacher. But you have to approach it right. First, ask her how the first day went. See if she says anything. Does he have an IEP? Your statement there was unclear. If you have been to a meeting and signed paperwork, you have one. But it sounds like you are in process?

You may need to let it go for a few days. Have your son tell you what happened as well. But if another child came to you and said something, I'd say you were right to be concerned. I would give it a week, since you said he started yesterday. It may be that she's just not getting it or she's got to get settled herself.

If the comments continue, I would request a meeting with the principal, the teacher and any other people he works with, special ed teacher, counselor, etc. She may be an unexperienced teacher with ADHD kids. If so - that's a problem. Try and approach it from the "I want to work as a team" aspect. If you go in angry - you won't get anywhere.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 1:38pm
agggggh! this makes me soooooo MAD! I wish I could swat that teacher up side her head! And then submit her to Chinese Water Torture for about a week and a half. And then make her walk backwards, naked, juggling burining pieces of coal, through the entire school, including each and every classroom.....

But since I can't. I'd agree with the others and try and use tact. Get her to agree that embarassing and belittling do nothing to change a behavior (even if he was not adhd). She shouldn't say that to ANY child. ADHD or not.

If tact doesn't work, go to the Superintendent of Schools. Get it on her record and get a new teacher for you son.


Avatar for kathy_in_ga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 6:47pm
I would talk to the teacher, or talk to the resource teacher. My sons 1st teacher this year made all the kids laugh at him when he fell out of his chair. He is now in another room with a wonderful teacher who understands. Talk to the teacher, tell you son that an adult is not supposed to make fun of him and to tell you if it happends again. If it does go to the principal.

Is the teacher even aware of an IEP?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 09-03-2003 - 9:06pm
Well this is the newest one.. LOL Because the state of Ma is in a BIG budget crunch they closed my son's old school and ten to top thing off the records from all of the children that went to the closed school are just getting their records at the new school.. The teacher was told that my son will have an IEP. He has had one since last year but by the time his records were gotten from Vermont there was 2 weeks of school left here...

I told the teacher that she needed to watch what she said to my son and if it was what she feels a big problem then to call me.

So I am hoping that will work..

thanks all for input



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-05-2003 - 10:08am

There is an apporpriate time and place to discuss this with a child. In front of the class is not one of them. The teacher should have walked over to your DS and asked him privately if there was something wrong.

In addition, if there is an IEP, the teacher is supposed to get a copy prior to the start of the school year. She should have already known that she had children with IEP's in her class and who they were.

I think speaking to the teacher and pointing out that you would appreciate any concerns being directed to you or the RSP coordinator in the future rather than discussing these issues with your DS. Not only is it inappropriate, but he cannot make the changes in the classroom himself, you and the RSP staff can.






iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Fri, 09-05-2003 - 4:59pm
I am so sorry to hear that happened; I think these things hurt us moms as much or more than our kids. Hopefully, the teacher is good, but maybe just chose some bad words. I think you have a good plan - to advocate for your child and remind them about his rights - in a calm, strong way. You're smart to take a breath first before you do this. They won't respond well if you go in fighting - and that would sure be my first instinct, too!

Our DS, 7, has ADHD - his brother, 4, just started Pre-K - the pre-k teacher was telling us how good and compliant brother is and she said "he's nothing like his brother." Ouch. But, she is really a good teacher and loves kids - I really don't think she meant it to be hurtful.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Fri, 09-05-2003 - 10:06pm
Hi Tina,

I agree, I do not think that teacher handled the situation very well.

She should have spoken to you first. My son shows signs of ADHD such

as impulsiveness, not sitting completely still, etc. He started

last year in first grade and his teacher had him on a behaviorial

modification program which helped him a good bit. He get's good grades and is

smart. I also did research and found him to have a sensitivity to dairy

and switched him to Rice Milk which also has helped a bit. I do not

believe in medicating children and will do whatever I can to help.

You should do some research into a possible cause that might be triggering

these symptoms in your son and also talk to his teacher about implementing

a program to help him, not embarrass him.

Yesterday was my son's first day in 2nd grade and he has the same teacher

(which is good since she knows him) but he has already started to act up

a bit in class so I am looking into natural remedy. I found something

called BrightSpark, but I am looking for opinions or others that may

have used this product.

Good Luck


Piscesangel7@aol.com (feel free to email anytime)