Introduction time...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Introduction time...
17
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 11:48am
Hi all.

I'm new to your board and thought that maybe we all can do an introduction of ourselves so not only can you get to know me, but I can get to know you as well.

Roxie

Roxie

CL-mommys_crew

 

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 12:13pm
My name is Roxie. I host several boards here at PS. Two are ADD/ADHD related. I host the ADD/ADHD Newly Diagnosed and the ADD/ADHD Children boards. A little bit of a background on me so you know why this subject is near and dear to my heart.

I met my DH 10 years ago and started dating him 9 years ago. When I first met him I had no idea that he had a DD and that my life would involve everything it does today. WE got married 2 years after we started dating. My SD was in kindergarden at the time. Later that year I had my DD. In first grade her teacher discussed the thought that SD might be ADD and at the time DH & BM balked at the idea. In second grade, an SST was done and it was determined that SD had issues but BM was still determined not to get a diagnosis despite the psychologist and the school principal thought SD had it. From that moment on I researched ADD and what the sypmtoms were as well as the treatment. Finally during SD's fifth grade year I made it clear to DH that I was going to get a diagnosis of ADD for SD whether he liked it or not and if he and BM wanted to sue me, then fine, I was doing it for SD, b/c the school would have to help her, even if we didn't medicate. THat was DH's biggest reluctance, as well a BM's. He agreed and we sought out alternative treatment to the medications after the diagnosis was finally made. (Mind you in between 2nd and 5th grade we had several dr's state that SD was indeed ADD). BM still fought us even though she originally agreed to the alternative treatment for SD. To this day she still fights us that SD is just slow and doesn't have it. If she were happy at home her grades would be better. Well her grades are better b/c of the IEP she has had since 5th grade, not to mention the tutoring she received from us. We had her on vitamin therapy until last month when we placed her on Strattera. Since we had taken BM to court to force her to treat SD's ADD and we had a court order to only conventional treatment, we had no choice but to try this. BM of course is still giving everyone grief over the treatment and has to keep things separate. As of now, we are getting SD the best treatment she can receive and will continue to look for more ways for her to receive the help and assistance she needs.

Roxie

Roxie

CL-mommys_crew

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 8:13pm
All right, I'll fight my way through the rush here and take the bait.

I'm Karen. I've done the stepmom thing, but DSS is grown now with a stepson of his own (and a DD and another child on the way).

I'm married and have 2 boys. Bernard is the one that started me on the ADD journey. He has a summer birthday, so started Kindergarten barely "old enough". He had a wonderful teacher and did "OK". Didn't set the world on fire and had some problems with "listening". Then in 1st grade we got the Evil Elvira. It was just awful. He wasn't a behavior problem, but apparently didn't pay attention much in class, and I really feel like she didn't bother much with him. We suffered through hours of homework every night. It was horrible. I was ready to start drinking. I figured a wine cooler every night with homework would be just the ticket. LOL! We finally were able to have him evaluated. My DH was one of those "I'm not druggin' my child" people until he watched us do homework one night. (He works at night, so he was missing all the fun!) I had no ideas left on what to do with him, and I'm a special ed teacher. We started on medication around April of 1st grade, and it was astounding the difference that Ritalin made. Homework that had taken 3 hours, now took 30 minutes.

He had missed so much, though, and had his self-concept so defeated that we agreed to have him try 1st grade again. Last year he had a wonderful teacher. If she didn't love him, she at least pretended. He did beautifully. Made Principal's List for the 1st half of the year, until Spelling kept him off. The 3rd 9 weeks was rough, and we finally made the change to Concerta. It was an improvement in some areas (like school) but had side effects - like sleeplessness and moodiness. He ended the year with straight A's in Conduct, was the Runner-Up in his class for their "student of the year" award, and got an award for the biggest improvement in his class on his SAT (more than doubled).

But then Little Brother decided to have difficulties. He'd had a good year in PreK, but Kindergarten was a whole new world for him. I know he is bright, but he had such a hard time. It seemed like every paper he brought home was "bad". Plus the stuff about him not having "self-control", etc. I had him evaluated, and he as classified ADHD, as well. However, we did not start him on meds yet. I had planned to in about April to have things ready to go for 1st grade, but he made an amazing improvement the last 1/4 of the year. Ended up with a gold conduct ribbon for the last 9 weeks. Don't know if it was due to maturity or the teacher's help with behavior mod or if she just "backed off".

He WILL have the "good" first grade teacher next year (or else) and I'll just take it one day at a time in regards to meds.

DS #1 will HOPEFULLY have the teacher he had for K, who is now teaching 2nd grade. I will soon need to start him back on meds. We've been off most of the summer.

So that's our story.

Way more than you wanted to know?

karen

 


PJPIIadoration.jpg picture by Kimberly_sahm

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 8:16pm
I'm Mary. I have two DSs - ages 7 and 4. Married for 15 years. Our DS-7 has started meds almost 5 months ago - Concerta - 18 mg per day. Like a miracle drug and wish we'd started it sooner. Everyone is so much happier. Looking forward to 2nd grade.

We had DS-7 tested last summer by a child psychologist - he didn't think DS was ADHD because his IQ score was so high and his math scores were really high. We struggled more in 1st grade - counseling helped a lot. We went to parenting classes in addition to family counseling. I went to professional seminars about ADHD and kid/family issues, did the Brazelton Touchpoint Training - stuff like that since I am a licensed social worker - though I don't work with kids much - mostly work with adults of families in severe conflict.

We tried meds because despite all our efforts, our DS was still having impulsive behavior that was landing him in hot water. His teacher got angry with him - A LOT. I think things really snow-balled. Poor thing.

Some of the inattentive stuff - I'm not sure. They are in private school that challenges them, but I think he's bored sometimes. We had DS-7 tested again on the meds - IQ scores dramatically even higher than last year - I think maybe the meds are helping him focus. Grateful to God and the universe that we do not have a learning disability along with the ADHD. Sad about the ADHD - but truly appreciate that we can help him and that it could be so much worse.

DS 4 - doesn't seem to have the same issues as brother. He is very bright and sweet (as is brother most of the time!). He has a stubborn streak. We also don't see the impulsive behavior.

Brothers are close and play well together most of the time. We enjoy doing family stuff and I am grateful for our lives - ADHD and all. We are lucky that we can help both of our children. We love them very much.

I've always thought that motherhood made me a better social worker and I think having a child with special needs also makes me better. Through my personal experience, I think I can be more empathetic with people I work with.

Well, that's my story... :-)



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 12:25am
Thank you for taking the time to post an introduction so I can get to know you. It seems like you have your hands full with two young children with ADD/ADHD. I commend you for doing it alone with your husband working at night. I know what it's like. My DH used to work long weird hours. One month he'd be on nights and the next on days. When he was on the night shift I never saw him except on the weekends. I was basically a single mom. It's hard with two young children. Throw in ADD/ADHD and it's even harder. You are remarkable and I look forward to getting to know you and youre kids better.

Roxie

Roxie

CL-mommys_crew

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 12:32am
Thank your for posting your story. As a social worker, I'm sure you have seen so many types of cases and have used your personal experience to make you a better person in helping others. What a neat way to work.

Sounds like you have two very bright children on top of it all. Despite the disorders you are making the best of the situation. That's great to hear.

I look forward to getting to know you and your boys better.

Roxie

Roxie

CL-mommys_crew

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 9:18am
Hi, I'm Lea and I've been married 13 years, and have one son who will be 9 at the end of August. I am an elementary teacher, who knew little about ADHD till I had my son. I was a stay at home mom for several years so I read all I could get my hands on about it, and still do- and I feel it's helped me as a teacher even moreso! (as well as the parent!)

My son was diagnosed at age 5. We used three different dr's for diagnosis, and all three had the same answer. My son seems to be able to go without meds all summer now. I notice his hyperactivity is more manageable, the older he gets. He's done very well in school, but we've had issues to work with teachers on, depending on the year. It's usually something a teacher is very rigid about, that is not worth being rigid over. Like for example last year he was struggling with memorizing his math facts fast enough. He did excellent in math in all other ways, but that was something he struggled with. It's very common for ADHD kids to have trouble with things like that. She was having he and any others who hadn't learned them, sit at free time with a page of facts. I talked to her and the principal and eventually they decided to offer him extra time on the quizes and he passed them within that week. I've learned that being his advocate is necessary no matter how good the teacher is. Many teachers have little background on ADHD and many teachers don't realize the accomodations they can make that would make our kids' lives a bit less stressful!

My son currently takes 10mg metadate ER in the morning with a 5mg Ritalin as a booster. He is falling asleep and sleeping great now-compared to when we'd tried other forms of the med. It was harder in the beginning with friends- people who knew him would not understand how this intelligent kid who knew more about nature than they did, could have ADHD. Yet they did know he had more energy than anyone, they just didn't live with it!

I'm learning as I've raised him that I am ADD. Not enough to want to medicate myself, I seem to have compensated for it over time. But it sure makes me feel better about some of the issues I've had in life. (Like the fact that my mother said my school desk was always full of stuff all through school lol). Organization is still something I force on myself, and it never comes easy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 10:07am
Thank you for posting your story. Sounds like you have found what works for you and your DS. I wish every teacher would educate themselves as much as you have. It would aleviate the labeling that most children get (lazy, trouble-maker, under-achiever) and promote the possibility of different techniques to teach those who have difficulty.

I'm glad that the children at your school have you as a teacher, someone who understands. And being a child advocate for your own child to boot. WTG!!! Parents being the child's advocate is a necessity. Some teachers, not all, are closed-minded and just won't give an inch even if it is determined that there is a problem. Without the advocacy, the children suffer. Keep up the good work.

I look forward to getting to know you better.

Roxie

Roxie

CL-mommys_crew

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 4:59pm
Hi all,

I'm new here, too, so this is good timing for me. My name is Laura and I have a DS (7) and a DD (9 months, next week!). As far as DS and his ADHD, I would say his symptoms became apparent to me at about age 4. There were constant notes, conferences, etc. from his preschool teacher. In kindergarten, there were intermittent problems that got more and more frequent as the year went on. Mostly disruptive, inattentive stuff. Then in first grade he almost had to stay back because of reading progress. In each marking period he had the box checked for "loss of instruction due to behavior problems". I had a meeting with his teacher and she agreed that the school social worker should interview him. He came back "at risk" for behavior/conduct/impulsivity problems. Over this past summer, I guess because of a lack of structure in his daily routine, he became unbearable and it was obvious we needed to do something. When he was younger, I could kind of control his behavior for him by stepping in when I needed to, but as he has gotten older and more independent, he needs to control himself. We had him seen by a psychologist and he was quickly given an ADHD diagnosis. I would say he's a borderline case, but his impusivity problems are of the violent nature, so he really needs to control before he gets in real trouble. Honestly, his friend's parents don't notice anything different about his behavior. He has mostly school/home issues. We just started Adderall XR and I see sooooooooo much improvement in just a few days. I'm really optimistic for next year. School starts next TUESDAY! We'll see how it goes. I'm hoping for a great year.

Laura

P.S. Today, DS wanted to play with a friend and he called his house. DS then told him after he brushed his teeth and cleaned up his legos he would be over. I almost fainted! Usually it's a battle to get him to brush and cleaning up toys before moving on? That's almost unheard of. Then at 3pm when he was supposed to be home he actually called and said "Mommy, may I please stay until 5pm because we're having a lot of fun?" Again, I almost fainted! Usually he just doesn't call at all! This was an awesome day.

Laura, mom to B & E
Avatar for keke0116
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 8:30pm
Hi Roxie, I'm Nancy ... 39, married to Bill (44) for 12+ years, mom to Kevin (11, ADHD/ODD, Auditory Processing Disorder, and Gifted) + Kelli (7, and a handful despite the lack of labels, LOL.) Live in South Florida, work part time+ at a local insurance agency and am team-mom often to all sorts of sporting events (cheerleading, at this time.) Busy, busy, busy ... little time for much other than work and my kids. Kevin was diagnosed with ODD at age 5 (barely) ... ADHD wasn't added until he was almost 10, and he was (successfully) taking Concerta for 15 months or so. Since beginning of 2003, things (meds) weren't working right, and we tried all sorts of alternatives, options, changes, combinations to no avail. About 5 weeks ago, I opted to pull him off all (cold turkey) and things have (knock wood) been wonderful! For Kevin, it's the impulsivity that's really his 'problem' more than anything else, plus the ODD behaviors. Not sure if this is a temporary reprieve, or if he's actually outgrown some of this ... I'm not questioning, just enjoy. Oh, and I'm the "CL" on the ODD Board here on Parentsoup.

Anyway, that's my life in a nutshell ('nut' being the operative word.) Nice to meet you. Hope you'll be around often.

Nancy 

<?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" />
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 11:24pm
Hi Roxie and others of course!

I'm Jenell, mom to two obnoxious but cute boys ages 7.5 and almost 5. My 7yr ds was diagnosed ADHD last year around Christmas time. We were close to failing 1st grade if it wasn't for the most wonderful teacher I could ever ask for who was very open with her concerns. I liked what one other parent said here about a teacher "If she didn't love him she sure acted like she did!" well that about summed it up for us. While we were going through the daignosis process she made sure he had a one on one parent assistant for "extra help", put him at the front of class, set up a tapping on his shoulder code to get him back to earth! and basically saved him from failing! We are working through our pediatrician for diagnosis and meds, he has two adhd young adult boys and it is his specialty area, work well for us for now. Jake has always been more on the impulsive side, not destructive in any way. Sorta flighty too, would crawl around class during story/floor time etc. When put around new people instead of being shy he'd run around the room and bark or something way off the wall wanting to make me crawl into a dark hole!! He never sat still has some nervous fidgity habbits too, no concept of personal space etc etc... Most of our concerns were at school or any organized sports we tried or in public, heck any time but night now that I look at it!

Since starting adderall xr 10 mg in Jan things did a 100% turn around and finished 1st grade with all outstandings!! Night and day difference! Lately the meds had left him getting highly emotional, bad mood swings so we started Concerta 18mg yesterday. Behaviors are wonderful, no coming down time etc now if we get him to sleep I'll be happy!!! Looks like the miracle drug aderall was for us in Jan.

ONE BIG POSSITIVE...we have found a sport he can focus on...swimming...he has been swimming since a baby but he recently made the local rec team and began competitions this summer. HE can do laps for an hour and has recently learned butterfly and breastroke, in addition to freestyle and backstroke!now for the shocker... For his last meet he sat on the bleachers with his team for over 2hrs, he didn't wander roam or goof off, he paid attention to what event number it was and watched the baord for team members who were swimming cheering them on and keeping track of when his event was up! I know most parents wouldn't appreciate this but that you all would understand what an accomplishment this was (on meds of course but amazing none the less!)

Wow can I ramble!!!

Nice to meet ya ~Jenell

Pages