I've been fighting with my son's teacher

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I've been fighting with my son's teacher
5
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 3:54pm
all year. After two weeks of school, she told me she thought he may have ADD. I was totally offended and decided to be stubborn and stick it out. I had the social worker drop in a few times, and she said for the most part he was on task. He seemed to get better with his behavior (which is his main problem) towards the middle of the year so I thought he was growing out of it. I forgot about the ADD thing. Now he's having problems again. He has to serve a detention today because he was acting up in the lunchroom. He's in first grade by the way. He brings little cars to school, which I thought he was just playing with at recess. Nope, the teacher says he's going to the coat room during class and then going into other children's backpacks. She said he's very impulsive. He's tired alot right now because he's been trying to fight a flu bug we've all had. When he's tired he acts very silly. He fell asleep in class the other day, and when he came home yest he had a slight fever again but he was ok this am. My question is, if I do decide to get him tested, should I do it over the summer and if he's put on meds I can adjust them or should I wait until second grade and see what that teacher says? I had another talk with his teacher today and she said she thinks still that he has ADD. That he can't stay on task for longer than 20mins while the other children can. I told her I was very discouraged about second grade. I'm so frustrated, I feel like I've tried everything and now I can't deny anymore that he may have ADD. Any advice would be appreciated.

Amy
Nurturedheartmom

Amy -

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 4:15pm
I can totally see your frustration.

Teachers are too, WAY TOO quick to label children with ADHD or ADD.

they are teachers they are not trained in psychology or psychiatry.

You should have him tested. which is a series of tests. No one and I mean NO one can

just observe your child a few times and state they have add.

My son is going thru the same thing. they even suggested I put him on drugs, but

just because you have adhd does not mean you'll need drugs. I know there are degrees of the disease so some people must have drugs.

See if your son is bored in school, is he getting enough sleep at home. there are so many variables in our sons lives that we over look the obvious.

just my two cents.

Sara

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 4:30pm
Sara,

Well he just came home from school and when I asked him about the school situations he says to me, I don't remember doing that or that some other kid was talking but he gets singled out. It's like he's already labeled as the "ADD" kid in class. The variables are it's a brand new school this year so he's adjusting...he's been fighting a flu bug the past two weeks, and no he doesn't get enough sleep, he gets to bed by 9-10pm each nite and gets up at 7am but always seems tired. I think it also may be allergies. I'm so tired of this. I feel like I have to "give in" just so he will be successful in school. Like meds is the only successful way...even if he has traits of ADD, behavior modification doesn't seem to be an option these days. They just want the kids on meds it seems the way some of these teachers talk.

Amy
Nurturedheartmom

Amy -

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 5:25pm
Hi Amy,

I would have him tested over the summer. Then I would wait. I would send him off to 2nd grade, and I'd see how it goes from there. It might be that the right teacher just makes all the difference in the world. It might be that he still has problems. Then you will be armed with an evaluation and can decide to give meds a try if you want.

You know my story. With #1, meds were a godsend. They have helped everything - school, sports, home, etc. When #2 started having problems in K, I didn't want to mess around and have things just totally fall apart in 1st grade as they did for my first. So he was diagnosed in February this year. I did not rush to put him on medicine. I did send a copy of the report to his teacher and pointed out a few things that we might need to do - like making sure he understands directions instead of letting him do the whole page wrong. But even before that she had done some behavior mod stuff with him that had helped. About the time I sent the report, things dramatically improved for him. He'd been pulling his card multiple times a day, but started going weeks between pulls.

I had planned to try meds with him in April or May just to have something in place for next year. But suddenly he was doing too good to even think about that. So my plan for next year is to sit and wait. He'll have the same teacher for 1st grade that #1 had this year, and I trust her judgement. If he has problems, we can check into meds, and not waste time trying to get an eval, an appointment for ADD with the ped, etc. If not, that's excellent too.

That's my 2 cents. Make any sense?

Karen

 


PJPIIadoration.jpg picture by Kimberly_sahm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 6:14pm
Is your son having any trouble in other situations? Outside of school what is his behavior like, his attention level, his ability to follow directions?

Typically they diagnose a kid when things are noticed in more than one setting. If i were worried enough though, i'd get him assessed over the summer just to be ready for second grade. If in fact second grade brings more of the same, you will have the doctor/diagnosis already there to help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 11:52pm
Hi: The first thing you must do is face the situation head on. My DS had a horrible year of kindergarten and half of 1st grade before we realized that we must give him a little help, for us it was strattera and my only regret was not starting the meds sooner. Your son seem very bright and if he is doing well academically w/o meds just think of the unlimited potential he has with more focus in the classroom. ADD is not cancer its just something you have to deal with amd once you do it will seem like a 1000 lb weight has been lifted off your shoulders..