losing my mind

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
losing my mind
8
Wed, 06-18-2003 - 7:18pm
I am glad school is over next week. I can't handle this. My son (2nd gr) will go along doing great with schoolwork for months at a time and then wham--suddenly he doesn't finish things,etc. Today all of a sudden he didn't finish a math page, didn't finish a timed fact test that he'd been doing well on the week before. And I KNOW in my mind that it's part of what ADHD is about---unpredictable output. ADHD kids do not have steady, reliable output when it comes to work habits. Yet it frustrates me because the teacher sends home today what needs to be done and he cries all through it. He's overdone, tired and ready to be done..and yet I can't just say the heck with it..and the entire night becomes one long chaotic thing..trying to get him to finish something..:(
Avatar for candksmom
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-19-2003 - 8:51am
My dd is also in 2nd grade (dx a bit over a year ago), and I was just checking this board b/c the same thing is happening with my dd. Her teacher said she started summer vacation a few weeks early:-( All of a sudden, her test grades plummeted, she's sloppy with her work, she's doing all sorts of impulsive things, and I'm just in despair about it! I'm sorry, I just have sympathy, no answers! I feel so bad for dd if she really can't help herself but she's driving me crazy and I don't know what to do, except count the days until the end of the school year!
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-19-2003 - 9:10am
Well your sympathy is good too! lol No answers needed. I do think that these kids have less mental energy at times..and they do shut down earlier or at inopportune times. School is nearly done- it's light out so late--so much playing to be done and my son knows it! LOL. He is just chomping at the bit to be free and enjoy himself for awhile as a kid. I can understand because even though I'm a teacher, I think the state requires way more of our kids than they used to (I'm in NY). It's a lot of work, a lot of mental energy and with kids like ours--things can be overwhelming after awhile. How many more days for you? I'm counting them down! LOL I want him to be a kid for awhile.
Avatar for candksmom
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 9:18am
3 days and counting, and I think she's through with homework and that the last test is today! Our schools are pretty brutal, too. Dd's teacher told me that even in the past 3 or 4 years, things have changed, that there's a lot more pressure for 2nd grade teachers to assign more homework and that third grade is a lot more challenging than it used to be(thank goodness she resists giving more homework as she already gives more than most of the 2nd grade teachers at our school; it's always relevant but some breaks would have been nice). I just don't think that pushing it down will make the children learn better in the long run, they'll just burn out if it's too much too soon. It's like saying peoples' capacity to learn is growing, that the human race is getting more intelligent. So our children are being shortchanged in other areas - learning to ride bikes without training wheels or jump rope or do the monkey bars later. I don't see a way out for the schools, though, since they have to magically raise test scores every year.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 12:29pm
first time on here. just read you post i have a 11 yr old the same way, also great reader but math skills really low,cant seem to find a way to help him with it also tried flash cards, school no help, he has been off his meds for a couple months {concerta} either way doesnt seem to matter. he has been on meds for about 5 years.he said he wanted to try and go without for awhile so i said we would try it, so behavior is sorta ok but still having trouble with the math and spelling,any sug. would be helpful. thanx!!!
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 06-22-2003 - 8:59am
I taught third grade for seven years. That was in the early nineties. My son is now finishing second grade--and yes they are doing things that we did for third graders. It surely has changed.

Cls716 you just posted about the math and spelling. What part of math is harder for him? Is it memorization or math in general? My son is great at math but memorizing the facts comes harder to him. Yet he can memorize spelling words with no trouble. It's complex, how they learn so sometimes we have to find out what it is that we can help them with. It might be memory related for your child--but i'm not sure until you post more about what the math issues are. If you want, post more and i'll try to give you some other ideas. Also list what his strengths are- sometimes that helps us to find a way to get those weaknesses improving.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2003
Sun, 06-22-2003 - 2:04pm
Please know that you are not alone! Homework is the biggest frustration with these kids. I don't have any easy answers, but feel teachers just don't understand this. I'm thinking of finding articles to give the teachers to read, but unfortunately I think some teachers think it's all a "crock" and the kids are just trying to get out of work.
Avatar for keke0116
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-22-2003 - 6:45pm
I think the end of year anxiety contributes to this. My DS, too, did horrible the end of the year. It got to the point where I thought 'just finish.' I knew he'd passed all his classes and would be heading to middle school, so it was 'just get through.' I stopped making an issue out of homework ... he did what he did, and that was it. I know it's the wrong attitude, but I was just too exhausted to fight any longer. He's had 1 week out of school, and is doing fine. We're reading on occasion (not as much as we should, but we're trying) and is o.k. I think our kids, more than most, really need the summer break! They need A routine, but not necessarily that offered by the school.

Nancy

Nancy 

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 06-22-2003 - 7:27pm
cokiedog, your post on giving teachers articles to read, struck a chord with me. Because I am CONSTANTLY thinking of doing this! lol. I am a teacher too- but let me tell you the majority of teachers out there do NOT know a thing about ADHD, do not have a clue about some of the characteristics. I honestly think the only reason some of my son's teacher's have listened to me is because I am a teacher. If I weren't, I almost bet they'd think I was just giving them a hard time. One example though- I told my son's teacher this year --she was wonderful-- but still lacked some ADHD knowledge-- she had the idea that he would do better at his timed math facts tests if he just "Tried harder". I knew for a fact that wasn't the problem. And told her twice, very firmly- "THE biggest misconception about ADHD is that kids are being lazy or not trying hard".. I wanted to send her articles too..but didn't. I see a therapist myself once a month, i guess to help me with the stress of raising an ADHD child. She said to me "Remember, not all teachers are going to want to learn about these things. Unfortunately many of them will not want to learn more. Not all teachers are driven as you are"... It's true, I've always been reading all I could get my hands on, about learning styles etc. And many teachers just don't care about that.Part of the problem as well, is that our colleges never taught much about ADHD, ODD, learning styles, or kids who are wired differently. So you've got all these teachers who just never had opportunity to learn about it. I never was taught either. I only picked up my own books and articles to read. I've been thinking of going to my son's principal and asking her to hand something out that I put together, but i'm not sure yet. I have to think of how to approach her..