Managing with more than one child

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2008
Managing with more than one child
1
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 1:23pm

Hi, I have been a member of ivillage for years but have been away for a while. I have 2 NT kids and 1 ADD/Asperger's.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2008
Mon, 02-07-2011 - 1:38pm

We use the same reward system -- a marble jar tracking good behavior -- but different rewards and different goals. For our son with ADHD, we're rewarding all of the small things -- sitting down to do homework when told, not hitting his sister in the morning before his medication kicks in, etc. For his sister with no issues, we also recognize when she's making good choices, such as sharing something with her brother, not having a meltdown when we've told her "no," etc. Our daughter may not have ADHD, but she has areas for improvement, too. We provide rewards several times a day, so there's immediate tie-in to the good behavior. Our son likes Nintendo DS, so he earns short amounts, and his sister likes being able to choose a TV show or having time on the computer.

In your situation, if you're rewarding grades with your son with ADHD, I would shoot for an entirely different goal for the other kids. Make each one have a unique goal, so there's no comparison. Your son might need to aim for a B on his report card, another child might need to keep his/her room clean, another might need to follow through with other chores.

Best of luck! I know it's not easy trying to keep things fair.