Meds and social issues

Avatar for kenyadee
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Meds and social issues
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Fri, 06-25-2010 - 2:21pm

We have just gotten a "diagnosis" of ADHD for DS, primarily inattention. The psychologist is recommending meds. He wants us to read up on them first, however, which I appreciate. He said that behavioral treatment will often complement the meds but that it typically does not work very well on its own.

Although the diagnosis is not really a surprise, it's still upsetting. On the one hand I hate to have my son medicated. He's incredibly imaginative and I would hate any medication to take that way. But on the other hand, having schoolwork go more smoothly, having fewer power struggles with him, and - most importantly - having him develop better social relationships sounds like heaven. I could deal with the struggles over school and other stuff, but I hate that he feels like he has no friends. He so easily gets his feelings hurt and gets angry over minor things. I know he would benefit from some close friends at school.

My question is do the meds help with this aspect, as well, and HOW? I can sort of get how they help with inattention, but how can it control emotions?

Thanks.

dee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 6:59pm
You are right about Dr's - I had a few thoughts about the symtoms - doctors can give guidance and get an idea - you just need to find a dr that will.

Denise

Denise

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Registered: 03-04-2009
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 11:40am
I agree with most of the PPs. My son was diagnosed at 3 1/2. However, we did not choose to medicate at that time, even though the diagnosing doc was sitting ready with her pen to pad wanting to write something. With the diagnosis alone we got a lot of help through school and he was put on an IEP right away. My son, too, also had sensory issues and had OT at school. The help we got through school was enough to get us through another two years without medication.We are very lucky to have a such an awesome public school district and I realize not a lot of other districts operate the same as ours. But once you have a diagnosis you shoul be able to get a referral for behavior therapy if you are not ready to medicate. Also, once you have a diagnosis, you can better research alternative treatments, such as diet changes, that may also help your grandson.

jenn

jenn

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Registered: 03-09-2009
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 1:44am

I also believe that your DD should discuss a referral with your GS's doctor/pediatrician. While medication may not be an option at this time, there are many therapies that can help, and the earlier these therapies start the better.

My DS had not only ADHD but also fine AND gross motor issues. EVERYTHING was hard for him to do (except run around like a lunatic) and I think that's partially what fueled his inability to stick to one activity for more than (maybe) a minute.

I was a "wait and see" kind of mom, and I wonder if he'd have been different if I'd gotten him some therapies when I first noticed difficulties, rather than waiting until he was school-aged.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 07-20-2010 - 12:06am

HI, and welcome


I would speak to his Pediatrician about a referral to a Neuropsychologist. There are some that will treat kids this age, not necessarily diagnose, but offer help. Vision and hearing tests should also be done, and any testing for Learning Disabilities, the school district can do these, but they CANNOT test

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 9:32pm
OK, I'm going to disagree: you can absolutely find Drs who will help, who will evaluate. THEN you can all decide what to do with regards to meds. It's not like it's diagnosis -> meds, there are other things that can/do help, and that's where a proper diagnosis can help. Plus it'll hopefully help sort out ADHD from the other possibilities! Yes, I'd recommend your daughter gets him evaluated by someone. How's your school district for that kind of thing? Good ones help at that age (they're all required to give some kinds of help, of course).
Megan
Megan
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Registered: 02-14-2007
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 6:35pm
3yrs old

Denise

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Registered: 07-19-2010
Mon, 07-19-2010 - 12:08pm
Hi! Im new to this site. Ive been wanting to talk with someone with the same issues we have with my 3 year old grandson. My daughter is not surewhere to take him to have him checked out? He is very uncontrolable, watches no tv, plays only minutes with anything. Is very angry, wants to turn over table or break something when mad and tells u want he wants to do! Hardly sleeps, u try for hours to get him down. U are forever saying no and getting him out of something that can hurt him. He has no sense of danger, that really scares me! we have told him
Avatar for kenyadee
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 1:46pm

I never got to thank y'all for your responses. We're going to see our pediatrician to prescribe meds based on the psychologist's report on Wed. Today was a rough morning - well, a great morning until it turned on a dime - and we're all looking for something that will help DS be able to focus more generally and hyperfocus less on minor slights. I know that some behavioral counseling is in the future for us, as well. We all need some help there.

dee

Avatar for ralenth
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 06-26-2010 - 10:12pm

Meds for sure have helped our son socially. He is able to control his body more, control his outbursts more, and appears more "normal" to his peers. He's better at interacting with his peers, as well, because he's able to slow down a bit, if that makes sense. He went from 1st grade, where he had maybe 1 friend to 2nd grade where he has several good friends. It's been nice watching him grow this year, and the meds have definitely helped him quite a bit.

And the meds have in no way changed who he is - not at all. All those quirks that make him who he is? He has all of those. He's just better able to be in his own skin, if that makes sense at all. My son is ADHD with a big emphasis on the H, so a bit different from yours.

I, too, hated the idea of medicating my son, and I still have internal debates. But, I've seen how much of a difference they make for him... it really has helped.

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Registered: 03-25-2008
Fri, 06-25-2010 - 11:55pm

We had the same concerns with our son, but found that medication did nothing to change his personality. He was exactly the same boy, but his behavior was in the normal range. We couldn't be happier with the outcome. It did take some trial and error to find the right medication, but when we did ... wow!

His social life also changed dramatically. He went from having one friend at the preschool that kicked him out to being friends with just about every boy at his new pre-k class after medication. I think gaining the ability to control his body and act like other kids made him blend in. The outbursts and aggression stopped. Not dealing with rejection from other kids and adults had to be a huge confidence boost for him. Kids were willing to get to know him and teachers also got to see just how smart and funny he is. I can't promise things will improve this much for your son, but in our case, medication made a major, major difference in ways that behavioral therapy did not. Our son's been on ADHD medication for over three years now and is thriving in school and at home.

My best advice to you is not to do general searches online about ADHD medications. There is a lot of misinformation and just plain wrong information out there and you'll get overwhelmed and scared unnecesarily. Stick to sites & boards devoted to ADHD. The websites for CHADD and ADDitude magazine are really useful and neutral.

Best of luck as you begin this process!
Michelle

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