Mr. Negativity ... ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Find a Conversation
|Wed, 05-07-2003 - 9:25pm|
I'm really (REALLY!!!!) not happy with the way things are going. Kevin was diagnosed with ODD (alone) at age 5, and we struggled with that for YEARS until we did a full eval in October of 2001 and got the ADHD diagnosis added to that. He was put on Concerta, which was our WONDER DRUG for a long time. About the beginning of the year, the Concerta seemed to lose it's effectiveness ... perhaps a combination of a difficult baseball season (with DH coaching,) some pre-puberty stuff kicking in as well. Doc put him on Strattera ... which alone didn't help. Added a small dose of Concerta to that, then recently switched Concerta to Ritalin LA (in addition to the Strattera.)
But, my kid is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO unhappy! He finds ways of making himself (and everyone around him) miserable. He takes everything totally personally. In baseball, for example, if DH (as the coach) says "Good hit, Tony" ... or "Nice Pitch, Derrick" ... Kevin takes this to mean 'dad likes Tony ... or Derrick ... better than me' ~OR~ 'dad thinks Derrick is pitching well, so that must mean I'm a lousy pitcher.' Kevin gets as much encouragement as the other kids, but if anyone gets a compliment, Kevin sees it as an insult to him.
Or tonight, for example, the kids had karate, and afterward I said something about stopping to get gas on the way home. Kevin said he didn't want to stop to get gas, just wanted to go home ... and I pointed out that I NEEDED to get gas (in order to drive him to school and his activities) and that it is more convenient to go on the way home (gas station next door to karate school) than it would be to wait 'til tomorrow and make a special trip. Well, he started in with this B.S. about "oh sure, because I'm just a kid and I'm not important and what I want doesn't matter ..." What the HECK was that all about??? I just needed gas in my car. It wasn't a personal thing, it wasn't having anything to do with Kevin ... I just needed gas.
We were working on a puzzle this evening, and I was singing ... OK, so I don't have the best voice in the world, but I was feeling good and got a song stuck in my head. And, he totally exploded ... stop singing, you're trying to annoy me, you know I HATE IT when people sing ... etc. It's just gotten to the point where he is SO miserable to be around ... HE is miserable, and he makes everyone else grumpy and testy. No matter what we're doing, he finds something to be unhappy about. Whatever I make for dinner, he hates ... whatever we try to do on the weekends, he finds something negative about it ... last weekend I spent 9 hours in the E.R. (had messed up my leg and docs thought I might have a blood clot ... long story) ... and the meds they gave me basically doped me up ... and he got angry because I didn't feel like playing a game of Monopoly (coming down off of a Percocet high.) Hello? Does ANYONE else count here?
I'm so sick of trying to find the right 'balance' of meds that I can't help but wonder if there is no 'balance' and what he needs is to be med-free. I work, so this is hard to do ... considering a leave of absence and taking off 4 weeks over the summer, during which time I take him off meds 'just to see' ... but I'm afraid that'll cause more harm than good.