My son is almost 6 and in kindergarten.
Hi, and welcome!
My first question would be, Have you changed the meds or dose to see if it helps with his behavior? Not all meds work for all kids, and they are trial and error.
How sure are you that there isn't a comorbid? Has he been evaluated for everything? and not just ADHD?
Omega's work for moods, ( but like meds all kids are different) and they take 3-4 months to see results. Diet changes also work well, Eliminating artificial colors, flavors etc. Honestly, I saw improvment within days of eliminating them from DD's diet.
A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.
The school cannot test for or diagnose ADHD, they actually cannot even utter the words. It violates Federal law for them to mention it, and you need a medical Dr to diagnose, a Neuropsych or Psychiatrist.
I would absolutely change meds, as this is obviously not the right one for him. There are others that may work, but again, it is trial and error. We tried 7 before we found the right one.
Positive discipline really does work MUCH better than negative with alot of ADHD kids. What goes on the chart? Whatever you think you want to work on first. It's hard to work on *everything* all at once. For instance, you could have a rule: every morning, you can't get up or make noise before 6 am, except you can get up and quietly go to the bathroom (and yeah, make it *really* explicit). Every morning that happens, you earn a sticker. Or if taking other people's stuff is the issue you want to work on, every X hours he doesn't meddle with other people's stuff, he gets a sticker.
It does go beyond just stickers, too, it's also the catch-them-being-good stuff. Tell him he's doing well playing with others, tell him what he does right, even if it seems stupid (aka, surely he knows that?).
And make the rules really explicit. Really, it's possible some of what he's doing, he doesn't really "know" is wrong; ADHD kids can be pretty bad at picking up the social skills rules & some of the household rules are just that. Plus sometimes an inability to tell that people are getting mad/annoyed.
We just started on the sticker charts. Like you I couldnt figure out what to put on the chart. I have 3 other children so three of the chart items was "Listened to Maggie" when he listened to her...sticker. Yelling his head off in time out was a big one for me so I put "sat in time out quietly" Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesnt. But it is better than before the chart. The only thing that I have a hard time with is DS (6) will do bad behavior on purpose so we can tell him to stop then he says "I listened to you so do I get a sticker" So he doesnt get stickers for doing "bad attention". Good Luck!