Need help! teacher grabs my son and

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Need help! teacher grabs my son and
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 11:27am
Hello, I am very angry. I had trouble with the school and my ADHD son.

He also has type 1 diabetes. We had a meeting, I demanded all teachers

Contact me with concerns, I provided forms to e-mail to me for concerns,

I have done everything I know to do!

The latest is my son (14) told to clean his mess up at an art table.

Son said it was "toms" mess. Teacher told my son

" you can't do anything else Anyway, clean the mess".

My son became defensive and began walking to his next

Class. Teacher grabs him by the arm, yanks in the class

and " clean it up idiot".

I call the school. Principal says she will take care of it


Monday, the same teacher assigns a project. My son is

working on it,She comes along and grabs his materials and

says" you aren't wasting this,You'll just make a mess. Take a zero".

Now my son is upset, blood sugars are raging.

Next class is also a teacher that He has problems with.

Math teacher refused to give son the assignment papers

Told him, you will just fail it anyway"!

All this is in retaliation because since our meeting,

my son has spent more Time in ISS. I call and make complaints

each time, naming the same 2 teachers.School refused to remove

son from these classes. My son is always claiming sick now.

He has given up on school!

I need ideas please. What web site can I go to?

Thanks, I am desperate, angry.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 12:58pm
Call the school board, and send your son to school armed with a taperecorder that is small enough to fit in his pants pocket, have him record in these two classes for a couple of days, once it is on tape make copies and confront the school with it as well as the school board and threaten to go public with it. News channels eat this stuff up. Also the child protection agency would look into this, if you want to go that far.

When I was in highschool we had a teacher removed because of comments that he would make to students that were uncalled for to say the least. Students and parents had repeatdly complained to the school and the board to no avail. All it took was a hidden tape recorder, it took a few days but we got what we needed. Once the school and the board heard what was on the tapes and that we were contacting the news media if something was not done, you should have seen how fast they moved.

The few teachers that do this and get away with it run it for all of the wonderful ones who are out there.

Good Luck (((()))))

Avatar for littlecookie67
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
Tue, 04-29-2003 - 10:06pm
Go to You need to conduct an IEP and have someone there that knows the rights of you're child.I would not put up with someone grabbing my child. Advocacy is the best policy.
Avatar for kathy_in_ga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 9:38am
I am sorry your son has some bad teachers. Let's see what we can do about this. First off does your son have an IEP in place? If so is it being followed? If not call a meeting (send a certified letter to the special education dept superintendent, and the school informing your request). Get everything in writing, no matter how small you think it might be, you may need it later, all requests, anything anyone says they are going to do. GO to the school & talk to the principal (don't call, they can say they never talked to you & didn't know there was a probelm), have them write down what their action plan is with the teacher and sign it for you. Get an education advocate who knows the laws & who can help you.

Here is a great article for you to read about IEP's & common mistakes. Don't think that they an expert on your child, YOU are!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 10:48am
Kathy, thank you as always!!! I will be doing an IEP with my DD prior to next year and really found the article helpful.

Avatar for kathy_in_ga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 2:00pm
I love this article, it is very helpful & give me that added push.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 12:08pm
Hi Kathy,

Thanks for the link. I did reread it. My son does have an IEP; there are 2 situations, that

I am just not able to figure out the best way to handle them. This is going to be long, so you may want to get out why the getting is good!

1. I received an e-mail from the teacher that grabbed my son. She said " I was very wrong for grabbing him, but I was showing my frustration at asking him to do something and he refused. She went on to say " that my son had several " false starts on the project, and she could not allow him to waste the materials or allow a mess to be made." She rambled on to say that "she has had trouble keeping him on task the last few days, and she has been accommodating to his' needs. The next day he got a referral for playing with a kids crutches. He was one of 6 kids that did this; my son was the 1 that got the referral!

First, she is NOT accommodating to him in the least! Second, When his blood sugars are low or high, this affects his behavior. These things have to be taken care of, and it is his right. There is no accommodating to it.

I have reported the teacher to the school board and a slew of other people. I have been told there will be " an investigations."

Next, after the first quarter, I had a meeting with the IEP team, I asked to have the IEP rewrote, I gave everyone full contact info and told them to reach me if there was ever any concern about anything. OK, grades come out again, he is still failing. I then demand a meeting with ALL the teachers. Only one stayed! The principal and spec Ed teacher. I gave them in writing what I wanted done.

1. I wanted every teacher to know what was on his IEP

2. I wanted to know what each teacher was doing to help meet those goals.

3. I wanted to know how those goals were measured

4. I wrote the goals in a plain language so that the goals could actually be measured and a person could look at the goals, see what was going on and ascertain if things were being done to reach these goals.

(I was told that this was exactly what the original goals said, but in a more educated fashion)

5. I gave the teachers a form, ask that it be filled out on a weekly basis, any concerns with academics, project coming up, homework issues, behavior. Anything and everything. (And wanted it in the IEP, Sec Ed decided she would handle it)

6. I gave them 6 different ways to communicate with me. BEGGED them to contact me for ANY reason.

The just of it is this. I had been told that I am just repeating what's on the original IEP and they don't have to change it.

I have NEVER, NEVER heard from a teacher, but my son has spent more time in ISS than in class. I got his 3rd quarter grades. ALL F's!

I am at a loss. I know I was preoccupied with my father's illness and his death, trying to straighten out his affairs.

BUT, the fact remains, he has failed again, they continue to violate his IHP, obviously he hasn't met a single goal.

The measurement of the goal? BY OBSERVATION! BY TEST SCORES. UGGGGGG

Can you tell I am fed up, aggravated and ready to snatch someone bald headed?

Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 2:58pm
Hi, I finally got a response from a news reporter. This is my reply to her, then she wrote back wanting to know what an IEP, IHP, ISS was. I hope this will make the news, mabey teachers will learn that parents WANT to be active in the education of our kids.

Hi Joy,

In the case of diabetes related issues, a dr. can not see if not allowing Wes to

use the bathroom to wash keytones, physically hurt him at this very incident.

It is a prolong side effect, as with high blood sugars, those highs, affect the

body organs. He can be high today, but if he has constant highs, then all the

wear and tear on his body will begin to show outward.

The fact still remains. He has to take care of his diabetes, he has an IHP and

it isn't being followed. IF they do follow it, it is with public embarrassment

and harassment. Something he should not have to put up with.

The teacher that grabbed Wes did write me a letter, admitting she did so. "

She was just showing her frustration". As well she stated she had tried to

be accommodating to Wes needs. She doesn't have to be accommodating to

anything; it is his legal right to take care of himself.

As well, when Wes has high blood sugars, he can be obnoxious and irritable. Add

that to his ADHD, and it is all medical, she says it is not, it is just Wes

being disruptive". Sorry, we have documentation to contrary; she just

didn't care to stay at the meeting I had called for all teachers.

As well, at this meeting, I put in writing, begged, pleaded and encouraged all

teachers to contact me if there was even a hint of trouble, academically,

behavior, homework, projects. I gave them 6 different methods to contact me,

yet I have never received so much as a phone call. I did get 3rd quarter

grades, all F's. I ask why have I never been contacted? Why have they not

reviewed the IEP and TRIED to meet his IEP goals? They admittedly don't know

what's on his IEP or IHP quoting to many kids in their classroom.

There was a form for all teachers to fill out and return to the Special Ed

teacher on a weekly basis. It was just a quick update about progress for Wes so

that we all could work together to help Wes. Sadly to say, not a single form

has been sent to me. It has been 3 months now.

Why do we bother to advocate for our children then? Why do we bother to help

our children be successful then? These teachers have no desire to help or


I have e-mailed the school board and called them. None will return my calls or

mail. BUT, there were very friendly when they wanted my help in encouraging

others to pass the much-needed bond.

The Principal and Asst. principal have asked the teachers to comply; yet the

teachers still fail to do so.

Joy, we are dealing with a group of teachers that refuse to follow IEP and IHP

orders. We are dealing with teachers that take their frustrations out on a

child. Wes' has friends that say, " why doesn't that teacher like

you?" or " man, she hates you, you're always in ISS during her


We are dealing with a group of teachers that " just want to get this day

over with and to Hell with the kids".

Strong language? Yes! When an active, involved parent, begs and pleads with

teachers to participate in the education of the child, and is blown off by the

staff, something has to change. I have been at this since September; I have

tried everything I absolutely know how to do. I have been nice, I have been

mean, I have been encouraging, demanding, but most of all, I have been


I admit that I need help now. I also know that I am not the only parent that

goes through this with a special needs child.

I hope that you consider doing a story, Parents shouldn't have to fight the

school, and we should be working together as a team to help our kids.

Thank You


Edited 5/1/2003 3:00:05 PM ET by auctionmom1200

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 3:20pm
Sorry to keep adding to this post.... But the teacher that grabed my son, just sent him to the office with another referral for the 4 time this week. !!!!!!!!!!

The asst. principal is NOT sending him to ISS now. She just has him sit in her office for that class period. !!


Avatar for kathy_in_ga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 4:26pm
Oh Geez! What a crock! Do they have anything in his IEP as to what to do if he is disruptive? Things like get water, check blood sugar, go to a safe place to calm down, these things can all help. If you haven't done so please go to , they have lots of ideas & I have even printed out some of the articles, esp. one on the pitfalls of behavior modifications. I thinnk the school needs to look at this quote & think of what they are doing & why (from


If you punish a child for something he can’t control, what have you taught him? If you punish him for the benefit of others, what have you taught them all?

-- Leslie E. Packer, Ph.D., 1999

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 4:47pm
Thanks, and I love your web page!

I also have all of those things in his IHP, that is the reason they say I don't need a behavior plan. Problem is, they don't follow this IHP OR IEP.

I have to tell ya, I am so mad. And ya know the SUP of schools doesn't gt my calls either! somehow, when I call.... nobody is ever in.. imagine that? When I write, I don't get any kind of aknowledment!

I am at such a loss!