Need help on where to start
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 04-10-2003 - 1:59pm |
My son has been in trouble at school (first grade) almost constantly since the beginning of the year because he doesn't pay attention in class. My husband and I have tried a multitude of things from positive re-inforcement to punishments that would turn your hair white (no spanking or hitting!), trying to find some way to impress upon him the importance of learning in school. His teacher seems patient, but is also at her limit. No consequence, either good or bad, seems to get through to him. He has good days and bad days. He takes his punishments very stoically and always starts the new day with a promise to do better. His teacher says he spends a lot of time playing with "found items" in his desk, cutting up erasers with his scissors, doodling, etc.
I've been reading some of the posts here and must say he exhibits some of the behaviors you mention, but on a very mild scale. He was a fidgety baby, but not really high-need. He doesn't seem to need as much sleep as most kids, but he does get a good eight hours a night. He is a bit impulsive and hyper sometiimes, but I can usually attribute it to too much sugar. He is very bright, with a huge vocabulary and a heart of gold. He is not violent or destructive, but does cry easily.
My question is: Where do I start to find an answer? His pediatrician? The school psycologist? I am not writing all the things we've tried at home, because I don't want to make this too long, but my husband and I are really running out of ideas to correct this as a behavior problem and are beginning to wonder if there isn't something neurological going on here. This probably sounds petty compared to the things the rest of you are dealing with, but I'm just looking for a bit of guidance as to where I should go from here.
P.S. I'm completely prepared to accept that there is something I'm not doing right. My mother thinks my son is totally manipulating me and just thinks the rules don't apply to him. Any thoughts?
- Benefits of Playing Outside 2
- ADD/ ADHD 3
- 1 in 10 US Kids Diagnosed with ADHD
- Parent Management Training for ADHD/ODD 1
- Treating ADHD in Preschool Children
- Is ADHD parallel to autism? 3
- March Roll Call 1
- Link between ADHD & obesity/high fat diet 4
- Intro-9 Year Old Daughter Just Prescribed Meds 6
- Strattera? 2
Memeber Support
| Q: | Where can I change my password? |
| A: | Log in, go to Edit My Preferences, and click the Account tab. Make and save your changes. |
We too tried EVERYTHING under the sun and nothing seemed to work. I read up on ADD and ADHD and found that while he did not have all of the signs, he had many of them. I made and appt with our founding pediatrician at our Dr. office (who lucky for us stopped seeing patience 20 years ago and has devoted himself to learning, understanding, teaching, and treating, children with ADD and ADHD. Quentin has *classic* ADHD andn was diagnosed about 4 months ago. They put him on 10mg Aderrall xr and that made him a different kid in about 2 weeks. I was very concerned about medicationg because he has such a wonderful personality and such a love for life and I did not want to squash that. The aderrall helped him to focus and when we talked to him you could tell that he actually *was listening* to what we were saying instead of just hearing us talk. We have also found that getting down on his level and touching him when we talk to him helps a GREAT deal. Also, positive reinforcement seems to work the best, and if he does have to be punished taking something away for a day or so works great to. Believe me we have tried it all.
Good luck and remember you are not alone in this and do what you think is best. My mother also thought that I was being to lenient and he was walking on me. You know your child better than anyone.
Good luck and I hope that this helps!!
HUGGS
Shaun
We are so frustrated and it seems like all we do is interrogate him about why he didn't do better in school that day. My husband and I are becoming concerned that in our effort to get through to him, we're on the verge of mentally abusing him.
I do appreciate your help and will make an appointment next week with his pediatrician. Thanks again.
Also, take your son to his pediatrician. Tell the doc what is going on, the trouble your son is getting into, and his grades are not reflecting his ability. The doc can give you some questionnaires for you & the teacher to complete. His score on these sheets can help determine if he is ADHD. I also took my son to a child psychiatrist, who echoed the doc with an ADHD DX, it helped that my son was all over jumping on the mans furniture, LOL. I also took my son to an allergist & had him tested for allergies. Food allergies can also mimic ADHD. After all testing is done, then you can decide on what to do.
One good book for you to read is 1,2,3 Magic. Many moms swear by this book. It uses Behavior Modification, which can help correct behavior to an extent. If your son is severly ADHD then meds & behavior mods may be the way to go. Only you can decide on what course you will take.