Need Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2010
Need Support
8
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 3:55pm
My son will be 5yrs in April. We have 4 children 7yr girl, the boy, 18month old, 4 mth old. I homeschool the oldest and the boy will be in K this fall.
I am really struggling with support. I believe he has ADHD, I know about meds/diagnosing until later but I don't know what my next step should be. I love staying home and I knew it would be a challenge but this boy has been bouncing off the walls since he was born. I find myself wanting to just plant him in front of the tv and we have never done that before. Does anyone know of any good sites, groups or books on behavioral techniques? Not the actual diagnosing, but rather how to deal with daily living?
It seems my patience is so done, I really feel like crying, and I'm actually starting to dread the waking days.
AAHH...this is so hard.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Mon, 09-15-2014 - 2:05pm

There are a number of number of behavioral treatment options; google them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: craftygirl01
Fri, 02-19-2010 - 2:24pm

One of the things that can be true for ADHD kids is that they don't pick up social cues easily/at all. All those things others learn "naturally" on their own need to be taught specifically.

Playing rough--depends what you mean, to me that's not hitting, but banging into each other, etc.? Sensory-seeking stuff? Have you specifically taught a gentle touch? Had him practice it?

Everyone's nerves: by doing what? He could well not be picking up that he's getting on your nerves, if that makes sense, not the way you'd expect (or, say, that your other kids do!). This can be where the sticker charts/behavioral reward systems can really work, if you can get it down to specific things he's doing.

And--LOTS of running around. At that age, one of the things we did was if the kid was getting annoying, we'd have him run a circle around our house--outside in summer, inside in winter. Or jumping jacks. Or whatever works for YOUR kid.

Megan
Megan
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
In reply to: craftygirl01
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 10:17am
In my opinion allergy testing is a must, and usually part of the Diagnostic Process. We discovered DD was allergic to Milk and Soy, and the difference was quite noticeable when they were removed from her diet.

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2009
In reply to: craftygirl01
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 9:51am

Another thought is to have his allergies checked. My son gets very aggressive and short tempered when his allergies are bothering him. We just found out he is allergic to Milk Eggs, Wheat and all other outdoor Weeds and such. We would have never know about some of them and once we adjusted his diet he is much more even tempered and relaxed. He still has attention issues and is busy but he has a better handle on it.

I don't know if they still sell those mini indoor trampolines...More for exercising but that may be something he could use in the winter!

Hang in there! Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2010
In reply to: craftygirl01
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 12:51am
Thank you so much for your advice. Just what I'm looking for. He has this red bouncy ball that he's on constantly, his butt is actually chapped. We are considering a trampoline this summer. I do have him run around the couch or do jumping jacks...great idea.
I guess this winter weather is not helping us out either.
I have read the Learning book by Cynthia...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2010
In reply to: craftygirl01
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 12:47am

He is very impulsive and aggressive. He's constantly "playing" rough and hurting siblings. He seems to get on everybody's nerves, seems like he cannot hear me, and is relatively hard to play with in a social setting...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2009
In reply to: craftygirl01
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 9:59pm

Home schooling an ADHD child can be a great thing for them! I did it for a short time and found that I had to fit the school work in after he had some form of exercise.

I would time him to see how many time he could run around the house. He would roller blade/ride his bike in the basement, I would tell him to do cart wheals ...anything to burn a little energy! Once he was "tired" or had enough active time we would sit down and do some work. Mostly penmanship stuff the rest he did on the computer. I let my son stand at the table to do work...sitting has never been his strong suit! Doing work in small time frames helps. Computer games were always a great way to get in the education and keep his attention. Stuart Little and his adventures in number land and word land was a great tool that we used. It even grades and tracks their progress so you can see how they are doing and were they need work. The great thing at this age is there are lot of educational computer and tv programs that will back up what your teaching. Leap Frog has a great video series. Letter Factory and learning to read and Math. There is nothing wrong with sitting him in front of the TV or computer for an educational break. It will give you some down time.

Routine was a BIG thing with my son. the more routine we have the better he remembers what he needs to do. He showers first thing in the AM he has ALL his clothes, socks, and shoes in the bathroom so when he gets done showering he can be completely dressed before he comes out. we leave his toothpaste and toothbrush in the shower so he won't forget to brush. These are just examples of what we do to help him stay on track in the morning.

My motto has always been... if you don't keep him busy he will keep you busy. Try to plan fun active things for him to do. A membership at a local Children's museum was a great way we spent our time. it was a hands on way to learn and interact with other kids. We would plan play dates to Mc. D play land once a week. It was nice for him and me to get a brake.

eye contact is important! Make sure you have eye contact when you talk to him....and it doesn't hurt to have him repeat what he is supposed to do. Like... I would tell my son to get something then ask what are you going to get? I would then tell him to repeat it to himself till he finds it.

Sorry I don't know of any great ADHD books. I just know what has worked for us. My son is 9 and when he was 5 we just thought he was a hyper strong willed kid. We read a book called ... You Can't Make Me: But I Can Be Persuaded Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child. It was by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias. She also had a book called The Way They Learn we read.

I hope some of this helps! Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
In reply to: craftygirl01
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 8:50pm

Hi, and welcome


You could make an appt with a Neuropsychologist, but I would wait until he is a bit older. It is not unheard of for kids as young as 3 to be diagnosed, although it is difficult and not common.


What issues is he having specifically?


I would implement a behavior plan, and stick to it. We have one and it is not negotiable, ever.

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.