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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2009
New to this board
Wed, 07-08-2009 - 1:06am

Hello everyone my name is Lisa and my DS is Joshua and he is 8 yrs old. His teachers at school think that he might have ADHD. He has a very hard time concentrating and his grades are coming down. He has always

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-08-2009 - 9:09am

Yup, you're new, tons of questions like we all had ;}.

Yes, ADHD can be inherited. Or not, you get it both ways. I watch my younger kid pretty closely, but he's 9 now, so I'm hoping we'd've seen it by now & he doesn't have it.

My kid is very bright too; no clue if "most" ADHD kids are gifted, but there are certainly plenty that are. Equally, according to the statistics, there's also a high chance of having a learning disability when you're ADHD (and, of course, you can be bright with that, too!). The smart bit lets my kid figure out ways to get around his limitations, but that really worked best once we got him meds.

Meds: We do focalin, which is in the ritalin family (three major families of meds: ritalin (methylphenidate), adderall & strattera). Which works for your kid is a trial-and-error thing. Different drs start in different places (generally ritalin family, often Concerta, or Adderall/Vyvanse it seems). You generally start at the lowest dose & work up from there to find one that works. School vs. all the time: Well, most of the meds don't last "all the time". 1 dose of the extended release ritalins will get you through the school day & maybe into homework time. So, my kid takes that for school & a booster dose for homework/sports as needed. We medicate in summer because a) he needs it to function in camps, and b) he's behind socially, and needs the meds to be able to learn the social stuff he doesn't know & camps are basically social things. Other parents medicate only for school. It is--like SO much in ADHD!--a case of choosing the right thing for the individual child.

Guilt: STOP that. There's nothing you could have done! This isn't--despite the questions they're going to ask you--something that you ate something wrong during pregnancy or something. Not something you can have "caused" by letting 'em watch too much TV, or being too "soft" a mother. The guilt is just going to get in your way, making YOU feel bad AND making you a less effective parent of an ADHD child (or any child!). We can't prevent everything. That said, sure, we all feel guilty about parenting stuff--if not that we could've prevented it, then for getting mad the times the kid simply couldn't help it *sigh*. It's just guilt is, IMHO, such a trap...

What kind of stories do you want to hear? Reading other posts here has probably given you a feel for a number of common problems; what gets posted less often is that the kids can do really well--for us, at least, that took meds, and good teachers really really really help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-08-2009 - 9:12am

Hi, Lisa.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 07-08-2009 - 11:25am

Hi, and welcome!

We all had questions in the beginning, in fact, the questions never end.

I would suggest reading everything you can find about ADHD, books, internet research etc.

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.