New to this board, sad/scared/lost..HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
New to this board, sad/scared/lost..HELP
6
Wed, 02-03-2010 - 9:20pm

Hi everyone. I'm Sarah. Tonight I went to my 6 year old sons Parent/Teacher conference. NOT good. :( He learned NOTHING in Kindergarten well they put him in the IEP program in K hoping to figure it out and help him. He is now in 1st and still, literally NOTHING!!! He doesn't know his numbers past 10 (by sight, he can count up to almost 100) and I think he knows MAYBE 7 of the alphabet (again by sight, he can say them perfectly). One day they can test him on something, he will know it and then if they re-test him a couple of hours later on the same thing, hes lost it and doesn't know it any more. He shows no signs of ADD or ADHD at all. He has no issues what so ever, except in learning. Hes fine socially, hes a very calm/mellow/relaxed child, but just can't seem to focus/absorb what is being taught to him. This is very scary for all of his teachers and ESPECIALLY ME!! I am scared to death, especially since because he is in this IEP program that will NOT hold him back. Meaning he is going to be pushed forward to 2nd grade and still not even at a K level. My fear is that as it gets harder he is going to get more frustrated and then give up one day :(. Well one of the teachers said something about "Silent ADD/ADHD" tonight. Supposedly she had a little girl a few years ago that was exactly like my son, didn't learn a drop of anything and then finally her mom took her to the Dr., they diagnosed her with "Silent ADD/ADHA" put her on meds and then she was a totally different child and started learning everything, and quickly.

So my questions are, 1 has any one every heard of this "silent ADD ADHD"? If so how did the child behave before diagnosed? and 2 do any of you use herbal meds over Dr. proscribed? If so what? I am very interested because I would love to get some and try them out and just see if we see a difference in him.

Any help is greatly appreciated. :)

~Sarah, a sad/scared/lost Mommy to a very special little boy that I don't want to see get lost in this mess.



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Edited 2/3/2010 9:23 pm ET by princess12382


Edited 2/3/2010 9:25 pm ET by princess12382
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 02-03-2010 - 10:07pm

Hi, and welcome


It is not called Silent ADHD, it is

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
Wed, 02-03-2010 - 11:28pm

OH WOW about the IEP and the fight to get your DD in. :( Yeah, my son is not aggressive or hyper nothing out of the norm anyways, just the learning. I am definitely contacting the ped and then hopefully a referral to a Nueropsychologist. Thank you for that bit of info, I would have had no clue other wise. I'm really glad she did mention the other child's story to me and that maybe it could be the ADD/ADHD with JJ as well, because I would have never in a million years thought it. As far as the IEP they did give him a diagnosis of some sort, she told me tonight again but I can't remember. My head starts spinning and all I can seem to manage to hear or think about is how my poor child is still suffering. Which I'm sure you know what I mean. I will hands down no questions asked use the meds if thats what the Dr. thinks is best. He deserves the BEST fighting chance he can get at an education and the health of his mind. I was really hoping to just get a hold of a herb and see what it would do and how he would improve, But I can't seem to find anything on it and I will trust you that there isn't enough of what they need in one thing to help. So I'm not even going to waste my time or energy on running around finding all these herbs to help. I would rather put my time and energy into getting him into Dr's and the right stuff. :)

Thank you SOOOOO much for replying. I don't feel so alone and feel like we can get there and he can get help and make it. Oh and BTW, LOL I know what you mean about the hormonal DD. My 9 year old DD is sooooooooo hormonal!! Some times its beyond hormonal. Right now we have her (well all 3 of our children) on daily Dr. Sears Kids Multivitamin and Dr. Sears Go Fish Brainy Kidz Children's Omega-3 DHA soft chews. Hopefully the Omega-3 DHA's will help with JJ to. Esp since it states that it helps with *Supports Learning Capacity *Supports Focus and Behavior *Supports Cognitive Function and *Supports Vision Development. We'll see. I'm hoping. :)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Thu, 02-04-2010 - 9:28am

So he was diagnosed with a Learning Disability? Tht is about all the school can do is test for LD's. It is possible that is all it is, and not ADHD, but best to find out for sure. I woul ask for a report from the school for the testing, and have that to bring to a Neuropsych.


Great that you are using Omega's, but the ones you are using are, well, useless as far as helping with focus. They only have 100mgs DHA, and they would need

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 02-04-2010 - 10:21am

When he was put on an IEP, what kind of testing did they do? There are *lots* of tests that test working memory, and short & long term memory, which is what it sounds like you are talking about. Your school ought to already have these answers! What have they tried about different learning styles & such? Or are they just repeating the same info in the same way & hoping the 100th repetition will get it in?

Go get a GOOD diagnosis. ADHD/inattentive is very real (my kid has it!), and it can be missed, sure. And it could give what you are talking about, but so could pure LD, that's why you need a GOOD diagnosis, with a whole bunch of testing. If you get the right testing done, with luck, it'll help you & the school figure out how to help your kid.

I'd have to guess that if he's ADHD, he's going to need the "real" meds--I know the herbals help enough for some of the lighter issues, but you're not describing low-impact there. And, in my experience, ADHD-inattentive is seriously hard to help with behavioral modifications. If they can't pay attention, then, quite simply, they can't (most of the time!). No matter how hard they try (my kid tried SO hard back in 1st).

Oh, and if you've already had testing done by the school, bring the results along to any Dr appointments...and make sure you read all the details. The web & people here might be able to help you interpret if necessary. One of the truisms about ADHD kids is that their testing tends to be all over the chart--mine used to have scores on the same test ranging from, oh, early KG to 4th or 5th grade on different subtests (in 2nd & 3rd grade). It was really interesting, because it showed us where his exact issues were, if that makes sense?

Megan
Megan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2010
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 2:58pm
CONTACT A HOLISTIC DOCTOR IN UR AREA!! ONLY ANSWER!!!
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 4:23pm
<> If he is truly in an IEP, they CANNOT push him forward if he has not made specific progress. HOWEVER, the specific progress goals need to have outlined in his IEP. If he is on an IEP, how come you don't know what is in it? Have you ever been to meetings with the the special education department? If he has never seen a psychiatrist, or been tested, how do you KNOW that he doesn't have ADHD--or WHAT he has? He needs a complete evaluation by a PSYCHIATRIST as soon as possible, AND he needs a full evaluation by the school for all possible learning disorders. He could have Central Auditory Processing disorder, Non-verbal Learning disorder, he could be Aspergers, Tourette's, PDD--any NUMBER of things. But until you know specifically what is wrong, you won't know how to treat him-OR TEACH him.