new at this. can you all tell me....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
new at this. can you all tell me....
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 12:56pm
how did you all verify ADHD/ADD? My son is in the 1st grade, and a joy to be around so I'm told, by some of his teachers. Its the main teachers and admins that keep telling me my son has no social skils, has adhd, or odd, oh and I forgot "he has no friends". Which I find hard to believe since I spend every weekend carting him from one play date to another, and they keep calling him back so he can't be as horrible as the school states.

I had him tested at Mass General Hospital and they told me they didn't see it. The school refuses to accept this assesment and states that they want to do their own phsychological testing on him, which I refused, since who will they get that is better than what I did? then I think that they are looking for a diagnosis that agrees with what they think. Anyways my son is reading and doing math at a 3rd grade level, I say he's bored. His teacher states he is going for attention, which he gets plenty of at home, how do I get him to "not want to be the class clown"? and get the school off my back....sorry I'm very stressed in MASS.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 3:15pm
Hey -- greetings from a fellow Massachusetts mom! Where in MA are you?

Did you go to Dr. Biederman's clinic at Mass General? That is the top of the line and if they did not find that he was ADD/ADHD than he probably isn't. That said, I would encourage you to work with the school and not get into a "pissing contest" with them. I have found that the less confrontational you are with the school the better things work for you and your child. If you have a positive dialog with them it will get you much further than if they say he "is" and you say he "isn't".

If the school wants to test him then why not? If he is gifted (which my son is) the results will prove it since the Stanford Binet is a subjective test. If you are correct (and most moms know their kids better than anyone else) and he is bored, the results of the S-B will speak for themselves and then the school will have to work with you to accommodate the needs of your child. We have an IEP plan in place and it has definitely helped.

I know how upsetting this is, believe me. Hang in there.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 4:47pm
hi I'm from chelmsford.

no we met with Dr. Rosenberg (sp?) he is the director of the learning disabilities unit there. or so I'm told. he was really nice.

tooo late I'm already on really bad terms with the principal at the school because he keeps suggesting my son is all these things and I know for a fact that he isn't.

I'll allow the school to test my son academically only. I don't believe the school belongs in side my son's (or anyone's ) head. I want the school to teach my son to read and write and math, but I'll raise my son.

I had my son tested at an outside facility and he is reading and math scored above the national average.

So can you tell me if my son isn't ADHD then what else are they/me looking for. What other diagnosis could there be?

thanks again for your help, BTW where are you from?


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 5:59pm
Hi and welcome. I have a couple of questions for you - cuz I'm not understanding. Why aren't you letting the school run their tests? Because you have the testing already done from Mass Gen. and I've not heard much about schools refusing to take their results...I'm confused.

And if he was also tested academically because you state that he did score higher than national average on math and reading levels, but you're saying you will allow the school to test for that? Either I've not had near enough of my own adderall today or I need a good shot of caffiene. What did I miss!? LOL

As far as what they're looking for? I could give you a running list - but I don't know your child well enough to do that. There are many other things that cause behavior problems in kids - from diabetes to personality disorders.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 7:26pm
Ya know, it could be a lot of different things, or it could be nothing -- just normal little boy stuff. Before ds was diagnosed I often vacillated between thinking there was something horribly wrong with him and thinking he was just a normal, active boy. It all becomes so overwhelming and confusing. He could be depressed (if he is bright and is not being challenged at school that could be upsetting him), he could have anxiety issues, he could be any number of things - but again, he may just be him.

I firmly believe that mother's are the best judge of their kids. If you think there is something "wrong" (for lack of a better word) with him, certainly pursue it, but if you don't then stand your ground and focus on being his advocate.

Good luck -- isn't parenting tough?

Oh, and I am in Brookline.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 09-26-2003 - 12:04pm
thanks for your responses.

first, I had him tested. the school will not accept the hospitals eval.

they would still like to do their own psych testing which I will not allow. Why should I have to "prove" anything to them about my son.

I have a best friend who's son is in my son's class. Her son is a sped child. and has an aid with him at most times. I was told that since my son plays with him that they should test him because it wasn't normal for him to "want" to play with the sped child.

They are like brothers and live close by.

I do know there is nothing "wrong" with my son, other than the fact that he is horribly bored in class. trying to prove that seems almost impossible. I've agreed to the academic testing but they say that its all or nothing, so they are pushing to do the psych eval....

I'll stand by my son and by his advocate. Can anyone tell me if Dyslexia can cause behavioral issues. I'm dyslexic and know that this is hereditary.

whew its been a long stressful week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Fri, 09-26-2003 - 3:24pm
Dyslexia can certainly cause behavior problems! Any "disorder" which leaves the kid (or adult) frustrated can rear its head in the behavior of the child. Also, ADD kids often have some kind of learning disability -- could be dyslexia. This is all very complicated and intertwined. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers.

Hang in there!