New here - about to lose it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
New here - about to lose it!
4
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 11:23pm

Hi, my name is Jessica and my DD will be 10 in 2weeks. Molly is driving me completely insane. And I remember what it was like to be this age and how hard it is with mean girls and cliques and I try so hard to be supportive of everything she does, but I'm about at my limit.

Molly is a gifted child and for 2nd grade, we moved her to a very small Montessori school that we thought could challenge her better than where we were. This past summer the school closed 3 weeks before school started. The public schools where I live are unacceptable so we ended up at a catholic school (my alma mater)that is the polar opposite of the Montessori environment. It has not been a smooth transition. Molly also has ADHD and we very reluctantly put her on medication a year and a half ago. I honestly don't know how we would survive without it now. The ADHD is getting worse and worse and we spend so much time scrambling to adjust meds, it's insane. I was a really good student in school, and as I said, Molly is very gifted and works 2-3 grade levels ahead. When she works. Which is not very often. I am completely perplexed by the things she does with no explanation. Today she brought home a math test that she got a 48 on. She had guessed every answer and not even attempted to do the work. She constantly gets distracted and leaves things incomplete at school, then forgets to bring it home to get it signed that she didn't complete it. It's like a never-ending cycle. I'm hoping there are other parents that have been through similar things, I know this is a hectic time for kids and Molly has started puberty, so I don't know if that's part of the problem. Anyways, thanks for listening to me rant - any support or suggestions would be appreciated!

Jessica

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 11:25pm
Oh, and to be thorough, Molly currently takes the short-acting (4 hr) Focalin twice a day. It has worked better than anything else, but she has now been on it for 6 weeks, and it is quickly losing effectiveness.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 9:24am

Meds--I'm curious, why short-acting focalin instead of Focalin XR? What dose are you at, if it's working, it may be that she needs a higher dose?

School: What kind of extra help is she getting? Organizational issues are VERY common with ADHD kids & they really do need extra help. I mean, if I compare my ADHD-er in 4th grade with my non-ADHD who is currently in 4th grade...I can trust THIS kid to bring home his school work & know it needs to be done. My older kid? Not so much. If his assignments weren't the same each week, we'd've had real problems. But the teachers worked with him--in 5th grade, one of the tricks was they made him a list of things he needed to do at the beginning & then the end of school & laminated it & put it on his desk. Very detailed. He had to check things off as he did them; they checked on him regularly for awhile & then he was handling it himself. But if she's like my kid, she's not just suddenly going to be capable of "remembering" to put stuff in her bag. My 7th grader runs his life on lists--makes a list every afternoon of everything he has to get done that day, makes lists for what needs to be done what day on longer projects--all of which we help with when needed, but, of course, the whole point is for us NOT to be needed. Back in 6th, he really didn't want all the reminders, he wanted to be able to handle it himself & that's what worked for us.

Welcome!!!

Megan
Megan
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 9:54am

Hi and welcome!


I would also question why she is not taking a longer acting med, but they don't always work for everyone.

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 4:56pm

I think most parents here have been thru a lot of what you are going thru - you do need the teachers help.


48 on a test - ADHD kids tend to get over-whelmed and tend to just give up because it can be hard or just boring to them - you need to solicite the help otherwise you will be on a merry-go=round.

Denise

Denise