New Here...Hello and HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2011
New Here...Hello and HELP!
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 11:36pm

Hi, my name is Sue and I am the mom of 4 great kids.  Our youngest is from an adoption and he has been with us for 1 yr now.  He is a new 6 and we are starting to believe that he may be ADHD.  I have been seeing a councelor to help me be a better mom during the past year of the adoption and she has set us up with a child psychologist to evaluate him and see how we may best help him.

I have been doing a ton of reading on ADHD and its like the books are written about him.  This summer has been VERY hard due I believe to the lack of a schedule.  I am a stay at home mom and we do a lot together but if I hear one more time "no one will play with me" after just playing with him or that I am mean, I may just scream.  It breaks my heart because its gotten to where the other kids dont want to have anything to do with him because he isnt nice to them, and because they wont play with him he then isnt nice...its a crazy cycle that never seems to end.  Very much looking forward to DS starting K in the fall to get a bit of a break but then feel guilty for wanting time away from him.  UGH.

Taking a breath and working hard here.  Looking a lot into behavioral stuff to try and help us all.  Started a sticker chart for good behavior and he was a great child...for 2 days.  Very much looking forward to what the specialist has to say.  Happy to be here to talk to other Moms going through the same thing!  Thanks.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 08-13-2012 - 1:53pm

Welcome to the board, irnav1! My oldest is 14 and is ADHD, inattentive. I totally get how you are feeling, it's just exhausting some days dealing with a child that doesn't know how to control their impulses. Don't feel guilty at all about needing a break from him at times, we all do. It's the only way to keep yourself sane.

It sounds like you are taking the right steps with getting him diagnosed. It from what you wrote, I'm gathering that he's not the best at entertaining himself. You might need to schedule more activities for him to do during the day, even if something simple like an easy craft kit. Try to find some things that he likes to do by himself. Sticker charts can be a great tool, just make sure that they have some type of quick reward to them so he sees the benefit. It can even be as simple as getting an extra 10 minutes of play before bed, or getting to choose what movie to watch. Don't get discouraged, even if you have a bad day don't give up on it. One of things our psychologist worked with us on was doing effective time outs. Pick a place that is boring, use a separate timer and give them a minute for each year of age. If they get up before the time goes off, you set them back down and restart the timer. It was a tough first couple of days, but they catch on fast.

Look forward to getting to know you better!