My DS will be
Hi, and welcome
YOu should probably ask your ped for a referral to a neuropsychologist. Especially with a child this young, and one who has other problems as well.
Reward charts work well, but keep in mind that alot of kids with ADHD, and expecially young kids are better off with instant gratification. They simply cannot wait days or weeks for a reward, it has to be almost instant.
One thing that worked for us was setting FIRM limits,and sticking to them. DD responded well to the combination of a reward chart, and set rules.
There is a book, called 123 Magic, that has been very helpful to alot of parents. I would suggest reading it.
A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.
I ditto the 123 Magic book! We are just now going through the assessment process for my DD who is 7 yrs old. I would describe her the exact same way you describe your son. I always thought ADHD, but the behaviors weren't disruptive in school, until recently. Anyway, at home, I instinctively read that book and did other behavior modification things to help our DD before we ever knew what was going on. That book helped her a lot. And it helped us stay on track.
And thank you for the info regard the reward chart! That is one thing I keep trying and my DD and it never seems to work as well as I would think it should. Now I know why!
Snag a book on ADHD & read the parenting tips, they're applicable to most kids, I should think.
Diagnosis--well, I actually started with the school system doing an eval; we eventually did a Connors' test (parents & teacher) & they said "possible ADHD", so I went off to my Dr. It really helped to do the full school eval (WISC & various other testing), saved us from having to pay/convince insurance about that. Around here, the school can't mention/talk about ADHD unless the parent brings it up, so it is worth asking specific questions. School will have a better feel in 3 weeks, I'd think...
OK, if he didn't do preschool before this, it's his first encounter with real structure? How is he at "transitions"--like, when you tell him that he has to change activities? That's a classic one for ADHD (and lots of other) kids. There, I found a 5 minute warning of impending change helped a lot.
1,2,3 Magic--yeah, we did that too. Never read the book, it's basically counting-with-consequence.
ADHD kids often do REALLY well with positive reinforcement techniques (and really badly with the negative ones, though 1,2,3 was an exception for us...). Stuff like sticker charts. A visual schedule like you were talking about is *great*. Yes, they do the same thing every day. They don't KNOW that, somehow... Rewards--tailor to your kid, mine loved extra stories at bedtime. Rewards can come pretty quickly when it's not an infinite toy-purchase sort of thing. Be VERY specific about how he should behave--for, oh, shouting, it's not "don't shout", it's "say that quieter", or something like that (on that one, making my kid repeat the thing until they find the right voice tone works). Mine often doesn't "get" what the problem actually is, even at age 12. Now he knows to ask...sometimes...but at age 5, he's just keep re-offending, even though that wasn't his intention!
Schools in the US cannot diagnose or even mention ADHD.
Thanks everyone for the input. Definitely going to get the 1-2-3 Magic book.