iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Thu, 04-16-2009 - 1:57pm

OK, for the past year we have been trying to get help for my son. He is a difficult 3 yo. It seems like he has had issues since birth...sleeping, sensory issues, behavior issues. We have suspected ADHD, ASD and numerous other conditions (which we know can mimic one another).

The latest one we are focusing on is ADHD/ODD b/c he can be extremely defiant. However, every time we take him somewhere for a dx, we get shut down b/c he does not exhibit the behaviors we have concerns with!

So my question is, can you have ADHD/ODD and be "perfect" at preK or when you go out? Sorry if this sounds silly. He just started preK last month and they say they have no issues with him. However, my fear is that he is still warming up! The IU will be doing an eval on him next week there but DH and I fear they will not see what we are talking about.

My in laws never knew what we were talking about until we moved in with them. Once he got comfortable, all the behaviors we used to talk about started coming out. Does this make sense?! He CAN be sweet and nice, but more often than not he is defiant to the point that we think there is a problem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
In reply to: bebemakes3
Thu, 04-16-2009 - 2:05pm
For a clinical Diagnosis the behaviors must be present in several environments. School, home, etc. He might be just warming up, or he might relaize school means authority, so he is behaving. If he CAN behave at school, and control himself, it is not likely IMO to be either.

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.