Question about having other kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Question about having other kids?
2
Fri, 06-06-2003 - 11:10am
Hi,

I am having a BD this mo and have to decide now (because I'll be 36) whether I want another baby, otherwise my dh is going to get "snipped". I have a 2yr old boy also, besides my 7yo who we are having some problems with. When speaking with my dh over the last few weeks, I've noticed that one of the factors that keeps coming up is because of how challenging our first is it would be really hard. We don't have a lot of help either so it's basically just me and dh. I was wondering, is it fair to use my older son as a deciding factor as to whether we have any more kids? I would like to hear what your expriences have been.

Amy
Nurturedheartmom

Amy -

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Sun, 06-08-2003 - 10:54am
That's a tough one. My 2 are 20 months apart, so what's done is done, so to speak. If you have one ADD/ADHD child, then you have a good chance at having another.

I don't know. It's a personal decision. Austin may not always be as challenging as he is now. A third be much more challenging or much easier. No guarantees.

I guess it just depends on how much you want a 3rd child or if you feel like your family is complete as is.

Good luck with this one!

Karen

 


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Avatar for keke0116
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-08-2003 - 8:04pm
Do you want to have more children? Do you want a bigger family? Those should be the questions you're asking, and it shouldn't necessarily be dependent on the fact that one is difficult. Truth is, there are no guarantees ... not with any of them. I mean, #1 may be difficult, but you might have a 3rd child that poses greater difficulty than the first. Without sounding too 'doom and gloom' the reality is that you could have a child that has any number of problems, or may be perfectly healthy and normal. That 3rd child may bring so much joy into your life that it is hard to believe you questioned doing it ... or it may be born with so many problems that it makes the first look like a cake-walk. Now, if the 1st takes up so much of your time and energy that you don't feel there's anything left over for another, then you are probably better off stopping where you are. But, if you want to have another child, don't let #1 be the cause for you not to. And, 36 is no longer 'that old' ... if you still have any lingering doubts, you should hold off on this decision (either way) until you're really (100%) sure, either way.

N

Nancy 

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