**QUESTON OF THE WEEK 08/03/03**

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
**QUESTON OF THE WEEK 08/03/03**
Sun, 08-03-2003 - 1:50pm
Every week I will try to come up with a question for all of us to answer. If you have any suggestions for topics you can email me at mommyscrew@hotmail.com.

What were your first thoughts when your child was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD? How did you react to the news?

When my SD was first diagnosed, I was relieved b/c I thought that we could finally get things taken care of. I knew she was having problems and thought now that we could help her. Unfortunately that didn't occur b/c BM refused. I researched the dx for about 3 years and did some of the usggestions at home and we were very consistent with everything here at our home but couldn't control BM. Finally in 5th grade I made DH get the dx and get an IEP at the school in order to help her there. After that we started treatubg SD with vitamins since BM wouldn't do the meds. Now we are doing Strattera for SD. I'm more relieved now that we are finally able to help SD. It's about time.

Now that we are having issues with DS and everyone is talking about their suspiscions and what is wrong with him. I am frustrated. Everyone is wanting to drug DS and I'm not sure that is the right thing to do. I want to know for sure that DS really has this before I drug him. I'd hate for him to be labeled ADD/ADHD if he's not. I'm not against the dx, but I want to make sure that's what it is and not just a Dr wanting to drugg him b/c he's borderline and it's a quick fix. Right now we are having him evaluated and I will know in the next few months what is going on with DS.

So what were your first thoughts when your child was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD? How did you react to the news?




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 08-03-2003 - 5:42pm
When our Dr. first stated that he thought that DS was ADHD I think he was 2-3 yrs old. Then I kept saying he is 2 how can you know this? DS was a premie and I kept saying to myself that this was part of his problem, he is just playing "catch-up" that is why he is always on the go. For the first year he couldn't sit up, crawl or walk.

By 4-5 when he started Kindergarten the Dr. wanted to try meds and I refused. Then about halfway through the first year we decided to give the meds a try. Several meds later and several patched walls and doors(MAJOR MOODSWINGS) We decided to take him off of the meds and try the natural(vitamin, food allergy) route. This has seemed to work well for us. DS still seems to have his moments in school or when around a lot of kids, but then so do so called "normal" kids.

Anyway, to answer your question, I quess when I got the dx I felt a little angry and just wanted everyone to leave my kid alone. He had enough things he has had to deal with in his short life, he didn't need that too.

Good question mommy's crew.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 12:08am
With DS #1, I was SO relieved. It was not a surprise AT ALL. I KNEW he would fit the diagnosis, and it was just a matter of getting someone else to agree so that we could get some help. I had tried everything I knew to try and was more than willing to go the med route. The results were immediate. And not only have meds made a big difference at school, but also in sports.

With DS#2, I was a bit surprised, even though I knew he had some of the symptoms. I was at my wit's end with him, too, but then he made a big turn around at the end of Kindergarten with out meds. Don't know if it was maturity or what. I had him tested earlier than DS #1, because I did not want 1st grade to be a total disaster like it was for #1. I don't know what 1st grade holds for him, but at least I think I've got a double head start with a diagnosis on one hand and my preferred teacher on the other.



PJPIIadoration.jpg picture by Kimberly_sahm

Avatar for kathy_in_ga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-06-2003 - 5:30pm
We were approached from DS's day care when he was 2.5. I told them where they could take their diagnoses. By the time he was 3.5 we had a probelm on our hands. DS was very aggressive, huting even older kids. When he started Pre-K it was very obvious. His doc wouldn't even consider helping us. said DS was too young for any DX. So I did what any mom would do, I changed docs! The new doc observed Joiner in his office. The kid was all over the place, jumping on everything. Doc said that if he wasn't ADHD then he didn't know what ADHD was. So we took eval papers to his teacher, filled them out at home, and took them back to be analized. Joiner was observed in class, and on the play ground.

When everything came back he was DXed sever ADHD. We tried therapy before with no help. We decided to medicate Joiner. The first 6 months were awful, we'd up the dose and he'd be fine for a week, then have to up it again. We even added Depakote to help with mood, and he then rolled all over the room all day long. The doc was stumped, and found a place to go to for testing, and then to see a child psychiartist. Something was obvioulsy going on here.

I did a lot of crying. Life at home was terrible, I didn't want to give my son more meds, he was so young to be so angry and unhappy. Then one day he switched, he was happy, giddy almost drunk. He also thought he was super boy & did things he shouldn't have done. The teacher & I just looked at each other. Joiner didn't sleep that night, at all. I now know he was manic. I had to lock up all the knives & sharp objects, he cut my couch with a butter knife, put a sharpe object in his hand, and threatend me with a knife. I cried and cried, we didn't know why our child was acting like this. He raged at home in the evening, and it usually was after midnight before he would fall alseep. He'd wake up at 5AM some days ready for the day. This is when we finally got the DX of ADHD/Mood disorder possible BP disorder, he was not quite 5. He does take 3 different meds now, we have tried to only use 2 and his mood was effected. I hated having to medicate him like that, but also didn't want him jumping out of my moving truck. He was in no way a zombie while on meds. Now he has a friend, can sleep, and can focus on school work most times. School is a different issue, he was suspended for the first time in Kindergarten, once in 1st and I can't count how many times in 2nd. He just started 3rd, crossing my fingers we have a good year.

That's our long story. I hope it can help someone out there who is really having a hard time. Things DO get better. I never thought they would. I cry very little now :0)


Avatar for iheidi66
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 08-12-2003 - 5:20am
My reaction was a mixture of relief and grief. Relief because we finally had an explanation and answers, but grief realizing the difficulties weren't going to go away. My husband has ADHD and I have inattentive ADD (dxd a year ago), so we are both very familiar with the struggles. I was always determined that my kids wouldn't go through the same things I did, so in that regard I was upset. After a while, though, I realized that they DO have it better off because we understand what is going on and are making efforts to understand the condition and help them. Also since we understand what it's like, we are perhaps a little more patient than we would have been otherwise. So in that regard they do have it better. They also have the benefits of medication which we never had, and they don't have the trauma dh and I both experienced growing up (we were both abused in various ways). We try hard not to criticize, label, pressure, etc. although they know we do have expectations for them to do their best.




"That which we pers

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2003
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 6:22pm
I have custody of my grandson who has ADHD and PTSS from physical and emotional abuse. Tomorrow is our first med visit. What has worked for others?