Serious 911 needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Serious 911 needed
5
Sat, 09-20-2003 - 4:10pm
PLEASE HELP

At least I know my son isn't the only one with problem writing and severe frustration. Well maybe his is the worse case on the board so far. Last Wednesday he got so angry and frustrated with the teacher (teacher calling him lazy and not applying himself) that he got up out of his chair and was heading to the principal's office when the teacher cut him off and told him to return to the classroom. He said he needed to remove himself from the room and see the principal and she refused to let him pass. He then lost control and pushed her. Another teacher (male) came out and took my son to the ground and restrained him until the prinicpal came. Needless to say the prinicpals decision was to write my son up for ASSAULT and suspend him for 15 days. He now can't return to school until Oct 13th. I took my son to the Dr. on Thursday morning and she suggested that my son be started on ABILIFY. New drug for schizophrenia. My son told the school and the Dr that he was hearing voices and wanted to kill himself... HE'S just turned 10 a week ago!!!!! I am so lost... I have cried more in 4 days then in my 31 yrs of life.. I have bi-polar and have hit an all time low... I slept 18 hrs yesterday and feel clueless about how to help him. I've tried everything... He now is on 5 meds to function and no school. and the worst part is HE DOESNT CARE... I have placed a lock on his bedroom door so he can't go into it. (all toys are in there) He is now in the guest room with a bed, radio, books and paper. He isn't even phased by it. I feel so lost on how to reach him... Sometimes I wish it would all just end.. I'm tired of fighting to get through every day.

Any suggestions????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 09-20-2003 - 4:41pm
Hi

My son is ADHD, I don't know that much about bi-polar issues.. but from the sounds of things you need someone to help you out. Can you get in to see a psychiatrist or psychologist? Someone who will help both you and your son, find some solutions and ways of handling this? Medication is one tool, but having someone to talk to, who will guide you somewhat, is just as necessary. Your son needs to feel successful again..I'm mad that the teacher called him lazy, for one thing. Please call your dr, anyone- who will refer you to a therapist of some kind for help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 1:53pm
I agree that some help is needed. And the first thing is to talk to the school that your child attends and find out why first off the teacher felt the need to say things like this to your child in front of a class. I had the same problem with my ds's teacher and he din't tell me about it a classmate did. So I hope that I nipped it in the bud. And why is any other teacher holding your child down. I am not sure about where you are but there is no reason for a teacher to lay hands on a child. If your child was on the way to the office the teacher should have left it alone.

I have 4 kids all ad/hd and though they have all had their problems in school I can't remember and teacher laying hands on them.

My dd left school property about 4 years ago now refusing to get on a bus. When I asked why she wasn't restrained they told me no teacher for no reason was to lay hands on a child no matter what..

I think 15 days is a lot to much to suspend a child mainly seeing that he was doing the right thing by leaving class to go get some help in his case the office.

I know there are teachers that don't know and don't care to know how to teach a child with learning disabilities but it needs to stop. If they refuse to take any kind of training to deal with all of the disability issues then they shouldn't teach. IMHO Don't treat children any way but the way you want to be treated and this goes to any and all teachers. They all have their bad days.. Seems to me that your son is in a crisis(sp) and so is mom at this point.

Talk to the doctors both yours and his and I am sure that you can get a ton of help an then contact the school.. Please let me know how things work out on this..


tina

 

Avatar for kathy_in_ga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 4:31pm
My son was in the exact same situation when he was in kindergarten. He was to be suspended for 15 days "until he could see hism child psych & be deemed safe to come back to school". I called the school superintendent complained. I told the super what happened, what my son did, and what the teacher & pincipal said. The next day an emergency meeting was called & my son was no longer suspended. Up until then he was rejected in the special ed program. He got an IEP (individual education plan) that next day.

I think the school dealt with your situation poorly. First your son was trying to show that he needed a safe place to go to to calm down. Second, the teacher is not helping matters, actually is making them worse & I would complain. Third, your son needs to be tested by an occupational therapist. You can request in wirting that the school have an OT (occupational therapist)test him. They will have 60 days to complete this test and meet, with you, for the results.

You need to take your son to see a Child Psychiatrist, they can determine any additional DX, prescribe meds, and give ideas for help. My son reacted horrible to two different ADHD meds, he even tried to jump out of a moving vehicle while on one of them. He currently takes 3 meds, and we are not havng near the problems we had in the past. My son has been DXed ADHD and Bipolar. I am not saying your son may be bipolar or any other disorder. I can only rely on my own personal experience. Your son may be reacting strangely to his meds, he may very well need another DX & more help. Although the info says Abilify is for treatment of schizophrenia, it is also used for children with a mood disorder & bipoalr disorder. My son also takes the same class of meds, he takes Seroquel. I have hear some good things about Abilify from other parents whos children take it.

Does he have an IEP with the school? I would sujest you request him be tested fully by the school. Then together all of you can determine if he qualifies for an IEP. When my son got his IEP, several things were put in place for behavior problems. This last year the school wanted to send him home at least once a week for one thing or another. We finally met and came up with a behavior plan that is working much better. Shoot, if my son knew he could come home if he pushed someone, he'd push everyone he saw. I also would look into how long a child can be suspended with out having alternative instruction, like a home bound teacher.

I hope I helped you in some way. There are many things you can do to get this situation taken care of.

Avatar for momwitadd
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-22-2003 - 3:27pm
Tina and kathy both had good advise. The teacher should have let him go to the office( maybe she was afraid herself). That is way way over punishing him and the other teacher had no business touching him much less holding him on the floor.

I dont know much anout bipolar but I do know from my own dd that I question so many different meds being used on these kids. Some are needed and some times I feel that the docs over medicate these kids. that seems like an awful lot of stuff to be on for a child so young....................

Keep us posted and remember your NOT alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 09-24-2003 - 12:37pm

Has your son's psychiatrist said anything about admitting him for in-patient care?