So exhausted :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
So exhausted :(
7
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 4:32pm

Hi All,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 8:16pm
All I can handle I'm no mother theresa by kim stagliano (not 100% sure of spelling book in my bag) I'm into non fiction mom stories right now was reading one of a micro premmie but haad taekn it out my bag couldn't find it started this 1 and can't put it done. I got a another one about downs then I think I need a break but there is an aspergers one I've been wanting to read. Liam is not diagnosed but part of me I feels he is somewhere on the spectrum. But I like reading them makes me realize as bad as it may feel its not that bad or as bad as it could be.

As for sister I used to do holidays my dad school vacation and would piss me off because shed take vacation just not when kids off. Well it comes back she was out of work for a year and with her kids a whole lot more. She did help me out on holidays and school break. Oh and she was always the one to coment on Liam and now her youngest is 10 times worse.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 3:23pm

Would you mind telling me the name of the book? I would definitely be interested in reading it for perspective.

I'm the same as you where my only alone time is my commute. Sometimes as I get closer to home I get this feeling of dread because I don't know what to expect. Sometimes he's all excited and happy to see me and sometimes I get the attitude because something happended at school or whatever. It's all a process I guess.

As far as your sister, my husband's exwife is the same way. We have his kids every other weekend, plus I usually watch them when there is no school just to make things easier even though I work full time as well but she still complains. Meanwhile I barely get a free night because I don't want to ask my parents for help, and my son's father lives all the way out in Texas and I'm in NY so no help there. *sigh* if only there was a solution.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Thu, 12-08-2011 - 7:21am

Oh and to add to my clothing issue he can't handle bottons snaps sometimes and the pants have to be soft. Normally would say DEAL but if he cant get the fly open it adds a new issue bathroom accidents and at this age becomes a peer issue but find pull on pants for bigger boys isn't always easy.

As for the break, I get it. I'm currently reading a book about a mom with 3 autistic girls (God bless her) but really puts my world into perspective but she so covers the guilt and break. What pisses me off my sister has 3 kids with 2 men. First baby daddy not in picture, second has the boys 2 nights a week well THAT wasn't good enough for her so she took him to court to demand 2 nights a week AND every other weekend. "I need ME time" BTW my mom takes her oldest alot on her weekends off and during the week if she is off. Me I got a DH and um I haven't had regular me time unless you count the time I spend on the train to work. But I am luky I know it if I am at a breaking point I have my parenmts and in laws. Its hard. One thing reading this book I think we don't do enough as a society to help families of special need kids. Not that my kids fit that but I think if I had been in her shoes my parents couldn't my in laws couldn't watch those girls without me and I see why parents crack

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
Wed, 12-07-2011 - 2:06pm

Thank you everyone for your kind words and understanding!!

Thanksgiving went well and I was surprised, but now I am dreading Christmas. So many people coming over and I really don't want to have to constantly be on top of him in hopes that he will just behave. *sigh*

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Tue, 12-06-2011 - 6:55pm

we go back and forth on weekend meds. I we have some place to be I do (sounds horrible like I am controlling him kwim???) when he has sports we do but its also a safty issue. I want him paying attention to the coach and not jumping around and such. If he is going out with grandparents I do too but like last weekend we had zero planned but my 3 year olds swim lessons so we had medicine free weekend. Saturday was OK but Sunday I just aboiut lost my voice by Sunday night and bad mom forgot we had homework and well took over an hour to do 10 sentences and that was with 2 go to your room until you can take this seriously and we gave up at 9 did number 10 Monday morning. Note to self never try doing homework at night when we didn't medicate...

But we have weight issues he is tall and skinny to start with and I am having a clothing issues so I cant afford him to loss too much weight. Size 8 are too short size 10 falls off him and can't find affordable slim pants (everyplace is either sold out or just out of our budget)

Sorry he has issues with friends, we've been lucky, I've been worried because he has more then ADHD. He was born with a cleft lip his speech was an issue in kindy and he does have some facial dificulities and I have been worried since he was born having issues with school. Knock on wood we have been lucky. I do credit diversity for that. In my day at my school Liam so would have been teased but so far so good but think the fact no 2 kids are remotely the same in his school helps.

Now Liam has never been a behavior issue at school and aside from just being OVERLY active he has never had a lot of attitude issues, but he has social skills issues and he is getting help through school right now with that. We both work full time and have crappy medical insurance so we are grateful for all the help the school gives (he gets OT and PT services too) because it would break us in many way. Now I am not sure what kind of treatment aside from medication he is getting but maybe a different medication of add behavoior modification may help. I get its hard trust me again without his school I'd be in a pickle (also helps to live in a progressive education state I know other school districts would in no way go as far as ours has) but I know time will come when we need to look into more.

Another issue for me is while DH is in the picture he checks out a LOT. Its me taking ALL the time off of work to meet with school and Dr (now add in the cleft because he is getting braces soon so that will at least double my time off needs but hoping my parents can help with that) but the other issue is grandparents don't get it all. My mom is nurse plus she has depression anxiety issues so she understands some of Liam social phobias and such. She understand he panics if he thinks he will be late for school, she understands he worries about running out of gas in the car (oh this is a sore spot, Dh will start the car and stand outside and smoke for like 5 min kids are in car ready to go, few times gas signal beeps he panics. One time he was standing talking to FIL and I shut car off they didn't get the hint Liam is now in tears they keep talking finally I saw we HAVE to go before we

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2011
Mon, 12-05-2011 - 6:49pm

Hi, I feel your pain. My son is 8, and has Asperger's on top of ADHD. I feel like I spend most of my time correcting him or grounding him than spending quality time with him. I have had to give him his meds on the weekend bc otherwise he drives everyone crazy. I can't even have adult time bc no one in my family wants to watch him.

So I don't have any adult friends outside of work. I am a single mother, and I am tryign to date and that is a disaster.

For example, I am very aggrevated right now bc he has been working on the same homework assignment for 45 minutes and is barely making any progress. He keeps erasing his answers over and over. I am looking for support from this website and feel like it doesn't exist. I was hoping it would be packed full of people wanting to offer advise and support and I don't see that at all.

How have you faired?

Thanks!

K

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 5:15pm

(((HUGS))) I feel your pain :(

It can be exhausting can't it (and this is coming from a mom who ended up in tears last night over more schoolwork issues). Sometimes you just feel so beaten down.

If you are really struggling on the weekends, than you might want to consider using meds then. I know how hard the weight issue can be, but it's probably not good for his self esteem to be out of control. Have you talked to his doctor about trying a different me or if his dosage is correct? It could be time to try something new, something that will help calm him down better. What types of sports have you tried with him?

We saw a psychologist with my son, and he gave us a lot of good tips for dealing with some of the behavior issues, That might be a good option for you both, work on his social skills and give you some ideas on how to deal with him. I was amazed at how much I learned about parenting, even though we have been doing if for so many years.

We are here for you to vent anytime, it does help to have a place to get it all out, where you won't be judged.