Spirited Child or ADHD

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2008
Spirited Child or ADHD
4
Mon, 03-15-2010 - 8:58pm
Our DD#1 is 4 and she has been quite spirited for the last two years. At first I marked it up to her being an expressive 2 year old, after that, I attributed her behavior to being pregnant then later losing our infant son at 4 days old (11/2008), then my husband had to return to an Army school. Then last year we got pregnant again, and Thalia was born 7 weeks ago. Well, I finally decided to seek family counseling to help us with our parenting, thinking her behavior issues where springing from poor parenting or lack of good strategies with her. Today when we saw the psychologist, he determined that she has ADHD. She is pretty off the charts in regards to her attention span being so short, her manic outburst, her inability to stay focused on something for more than a few seconds and how she will constantly wear us down for attention over certain matters.
I have seen that any toys we buy for her normally only lasted about 36 hours before being tossed aside. So much for the lovely pink kitchen we got her for her birthday! Plus, when we do ignore her tantrums and bad behavior, she calms down eventually. She will say excuse me and then ask "may I .....". If she does indeed have ADHD, then that explains so much to us and kind of makes it easier for us to cope with her behavior in a positive manner. However, the psychologist was a piece of work himself, but that's another story. We will be returning in 2 weeks to kind of assess the situation. I am doing it more for our understanding on how to handle Aidan and her moods. Compared to my oldest son (now 18) she can be challenging at times and not an easy person to get along with. Though, that does not change just how much we love her and everything about her! She is a lovely person when she decides to be and very intelligent and a fast learner.
So, I reckon I am looking for opinions and feedback on the "right" things to do for our DD (more like discipline, parenting, etc...). I am not trying to label Aidan to early or un-label her for that matter. She does attend preschool 3 half days a week in the 3's class (she has a January birthday, so will always be the oldest). DH wonders why her preschool teacher or babysitter did not pick up on the indicators. I feel that preschool teachers and babysitters for children this age are not looking for the signs and clues of ADHD and most are afraid of "labeling" them early on. I don't know - what are your thoughts on that as well. Thank you for reading!
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http://rememberingbregan.blogspot.com/ Dianne Wife to Super, Awesome, No Limits US Army Officer - Matthew. Mummy to: DS - Dakota John - 18 yo., DD - Aidan Isabella - 4 yo., DS - Angel - Bregan Michael - 3 1/2 days old 11/23-11/27/2008, DD- Thalia Evan 1/24/10, 2 x Miscarriage Survivor 2003 & 2004.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Mon, 03-15-2010 - 10:57pm

HI, and welcome


While she is still very young, she can be evaluated for ADHD. Meds are also an option, but some dr's won't prescribe until age 6.


My advice would be, consistency, consistency, and consistency. Behavior charts help, but at her age, and with ADHD instant gratificatnion is a MUST. Kids with ADHD don't do wait and see, they do NOW, right now.


For example, when my DD was her age we did a chart with stars for everything, sitting still at dinner earned a star, putting up toys might earn 2. Brushing teeth and getting dressed would be worth 3. Each star had a specific reward,and

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2008
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 9:50am
I have noticed in the past that she loses interest in a sticker chart for more than 1-2 days. So, I should do one daily?? How much TV time did you allow your 4 year old? I have always wonder if my generous attitude towards TV has been some of the problem. We do limit it and turn it off when she misbehaves.
I do have a question about toys. How many toys should I have in her play areas? I think we have tooo many for her and she hardly bothers with them. Should I only keep out 3 or 4 toys for her to play with and put up the others?? I think tomorrow I can devote the whole time she is at preschool to re-arranging her play areas. Thank you for your help!
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Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers
http://rememberingbregan.blogspot.com/ Dianne Wife to Super, Awesome, No Limits US Army Officer - Matthew. Mummy to: DS - Dakota John - 18 yo., DD - Aidan Isabella - 4 yo., DS - Angel - Bregan Michael - 3 1/2 days old 11/23-11/27/2008, DD- Thalia Evan 1/24/10, 2 x Miscarriage Survivor 2003 & 2004.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 03-16-2010 - 10:57am

My DD is now 12 and gets 3 hours of earned screen time( computer, TV etc)

A child may HAVE ADHD, but it is not what they ARE. Never tell a child they ARE ADHD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2009
Wed, 03-17-2010 - 11:43am

I really like that marble idea and it could easily work for ANY kid. My DS was about 3 1/2 when he was diagnosed and we steared clear of meds for as long as we could even though our dr (at the time) was all for it. Needless to say she didn't last for very long. Reward charts also did not and still does not work for DS...but taking away certain things did. Time outs never really worked either. It was/is a fight struggle to get him to his time out place and he gets so worked up and explodes....it's really not worth the fight, IMO. You just need to find what works for you... and it will be a series of trials and tribulations... and the minute you think you have it all figured out... something changes... and you have to start all over again.... lol.... such is the life of a parent.


As for TV, IDK... DS was never a big TV person... and if he DOES watch TV he (is weird) and watches the Discovery Channel or some science-y/history stuff like that. God love

jenn