Things aren't going well ..

Avatar for keke0116
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Things aren't going well ..
1
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 6:29am
Well, the good behavior we've witnessed during our 10-12 weeks of being med-free seem to be losing ground. Kevin is starting to fall back into old habits. Part of this is age-appropriate, I think ... losing books, forgetting homework assignments, putting the math homework in the science folder, etc. I can 'almost' handle that ... OK, OK, I'm anal about organization so this IS killing me, but at least I understand it. (Hell, DH is forever losing stuff, too, and leaving things behind, so Kevin definitely comes about this honestly.)

But it's the 'I don't care' attitude that I'm having such trouble with. I see him at baseball last night ... Kevin loves the game, and is very good at it. Last night, he's playing short stop and he and the 2nd baseman are goofing off during the first few innings. When Kevin gets pulled in to pitch (bases loaded, no outs) instead of seeing the 'situation' it was more like "ha, ha, look at me, I get to pitch." Sigh! Totally 'off' for Kevin. When DH tried to talk to him afterward, it was all "I don't care." And, he doesn't. He doesn't care that he's acting like an idiot ... he doesn't care that instead of doing a simple task he's asked to do, he can lie on the couch in the fetal position and waste the morning ... he doesn't care that I look at him and think I should put him in a mental hospital instead of taking him to his baseball tournament this weekend ... He doesn't care about anything. He doesn't care what anyone thinks of him, or about anyone else ... and it totally infuriates me at the same time as it's breaking my heart!

I knew he hadn't outgrown this ... but gosh, I was enjoying the reprieve. I'm not ready for another round of this. I'm trying to cut him some slack, and realize that he's had to go though many transitions in the past few weeks (middle school and all the crap associated with that) but it just kills me sometimes how defiant and uncaring he can be.

Sorry ... been a rough couple of hours ... I've been up most of the night, just unable to sleep, totally on edge. I was really enjoying the 'normalcy' we were experiencing.

Nancy

Nancy 

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Avatar for kathy_in_ga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 8:54am
Sounds like a lot of things have changed for him. I also know that the "I don't care" attitude is a pre-teen, teen trait. What if you video taped him at a game acting like that, and then let him see it? Let him watch it alone, just to see what he looks like to others, even his peers. Does he have a good friend on the team? Can that friend talk to him? I know they are kind of young, but maybe...How about the coach? Maybe he would talk to him. Someone your son respects & listens too may help the situation. I remember when we took Joiner off all meds. He did great for about 6 weeks. Then he started to slide. Then he really needed to be hospitalized, but I couldn't do that to him so young. So we dealt with him until meds kicked in. I had to lock up all the knives & sharp objects & watch him constantly.

I hope this phase is over with for you soon. Get some rest & take care of yourself. No one else will!

Kathy