Time outs/Calm downs
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Time outs/Calm downs
| Tue, 05-06-2003 - 7:56am |
When we were at out evaluation yesterday we discussed the negative reaction I get out of a time out. I only use time outs for violence. I take privileges away for other things.
Time outs usually end in a 2 hour temper tantrum. One of the guys there, a psychologist gave us a suggestion, that instead of allowing Jamie to reach the point where he's going to hit someone rate his intensity level from 0 being very calm to 5 agressive and violent, and catch him before he passes 3 and get him to take a 1 minute cool off or calm down, whatever we wanted to call it.
He said the object of this exercise was to teach him to know when he's reaching the explosion level so that he can put himself in "cool off" before he acts out.
They said it could take years before he recognises the signs in himself, but that it would be huge in self-esteem building in the end.
Anyone else ever try this?
Elspeth
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Also, have you read "The Explose Child" by Ross Greene? He has some good ideas, helped me to not demand so much on Joiner during his worse times.
He also thinks toys do things they don't and that I can cook anything in the kitchen (like M&Ms)
Sometimes if what he's asking for is impossible it's hard to divert him as nothing else will do. I've been trying to defuse and divert him, but sometimes it's impossible.
I guess when it comes to recognising his triggers that's not such a hard thing for me. I know in advance what to expect from certain situations and I can tell by the look on his face if there is going to be a problem and remove him immediately.
Depending where we are though, it's not always that easy
Elspeth
I have also found that I cannot allow myself to get out of control, or it the situation blows up almost immediately. I can't yell at him - I can speak forcefully, but if I yell in anger, all he does is scream back and the whole meltdown thing starts. If I can just say "I will not tolerate this and you need to make another choice" he will try to think of another choice. I'm having a hard time getting my husband (my son's stepfather) to understand that you just can't scream at him to get your point across. He shuts down, then melts down and it is UGLY.
I think it is a great way to teach them to recognize their own behaviors. It's really hard when they are young, but it is so important for them to learn self-control.
http://www.healerwarrior.com/Psychoeducational%20Family%20Support.htm