Touchy Feely 4 year old--Long post

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2003
Touchy Feely 4 year old--Long post
1
Fri, 05-16-2003 - 4:33pm
Hi there,

My son, Andrew, just turned four and we've been having problems with impulsive behavior since he turned 2! His little brother was born when he was 21 months old and we attributed a lot of his aggressive behavior to this event. He was really agressive toward the baby and sometimes with his friends at playdates. When he turned 3, he started having some problems with his friends at his preschool. This has only intensified. He does hit and push on purpose sometimes, but the main problem seems to be that he is just always touching the other kids (and his brother), invading their space. He'll just touch their heads, stroke their hair, etc.--this often begins to turn into slapping at heads, etc. The other kids don't like it (of course) and I can't leave him alone with his brother for two seconds before the younger boy starts screaming because my older son is slapping him, pushing, etc. Andrew is a really sweet child, good with other adults, he is never defiant or anything like that at school. He is really good at the focused activities at school--he can sit very still and quiet while they are doing storytime or art or drama or anything like that. He is a disaster at center time and just starts racing about and messing with his classmates. He is the same at home. As long as I give him a planned activity to do, he does it. We've gone to library storytimes since he was 18 months and he loves them and is so quiet and good. I've taken him to plays, symphony concerts, tons of museums, etc. He will build with blocks and spend a ton of time setting up his animals in rows, but needs a lot of parental help coming up with other ways to occupy himself. He has been working with a play therapist since October, but we recently stopped play therapy and took him out of his preschool because things have been going so badly. He seems completely bewildered by why he can't keep his hands to himself. Our pediatrician has ruled out autism, etc. and he is sending us to a psychiatrist for an evaluation. My question is (at the tale end of this rambling)--does this sound like ADD? Maybe some subset with hyperactivity and impulsivity but not the lack of focus? Does this sound like anybody out there's child and have you found anything to help them? I am just about at my wit's end and am not sure what to do now. I'm hoping a psychiatrist can help some, but my child really doesn't seem in control of his own hands!!

Thanks so much for any and all help:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 05-17-2003 - 1:30am
Have you ever heard of sensory integration dysfunction? You may want to pick up a copy of a book called The Out Of Sync Child. If you get the light bulb moment, get your doctor to refer you to an OT. If he has SID, you will see great improvement in his behavior from OT. Or, anyway, it worked for my son who is both SID and ADD. Hope this helps! Sio